Help me name me gear! (in Off-topic)

I'm bored and im all psyched about "looking for item namings in March" so I'm trying to think of some names to name my armor and weapons.

Rares that I have thought of naming:
1) Mithril Shield
2) Helm of Durin
3) Helm's Gauntlets
4) Katana
5) Compound Bow ( it isnt rare but whatever )

What do you all think I can name some of my stuff? :-D The suggestions can be serious names like "Ring of Banthor" or stupid like "Pink Fuzzy Lightsaber" either or I don't care :-D

A Taco Shield
A Large L On His Forehead (no offense intended)
Pink Fluffy Mittens
A Pointy Stick Of Ouchiness
A Carp Launcher

Theme: Simpsons
Mithril Shield: Beer Filled Belly
Helm of Durin: Homers 3 hairs
Helm's Gauntlets: Beer Drenched hands
Katana: TV Remote
Compound bow: Homers Duff Beer Launcher
Ammo: Duff Beer Cans

Update

6) Chain Mail Leggings


I like "The Large L on His Forehead" :-D

1) Small Wooden Shield
2) A hole in his head
3) Pink sweatbands
4) Kinda pointy stick
5) Thing that launches arrows at a high rate of speed

There...Good to think of while waiting to name my hxbow "A Composite Bow"

forgot 6..

6) Itchy wool stockings

fashion crisis blocker
bad hair cut cover
horrible manicure
purse
high heel shoe

hehe you can be a new york fluzy