A joke for your amusement (in Off-topic)

RAMPAGE October 27 2005 3:09 PM EDT

Enjoy and feel free to post any jokes here you like.
(Remember to keep it PG)

A Repeat Visit

An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane...

At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his
passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the Customs Officer
asked, sarcastically.

The man admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready," said the
Customs Officer.

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival
in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he
quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day
in '44, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

kay October 27 2005 11:55 PM EDT

Three birds are sitting in a tree. The first bird explodes for no apparent reason. The other spontaneously combusts. The third bird just sits and stares at this gory scene, dumbfounded. Years later, he'll have flashbacks. His life will never be the same again.

Biscuitback October 28 2005 12:56 AM EDT

pretty funny rampage.

i didn't get the other joke.. it must have went over my head

sssimmo October 28 2005 1:44 AM EDT

Your not alone BBack. Kay's joke was either missing parts or its just a plain bad joke.

maulaxe October 28 2005 2:53 AM EDT

it did give a very pleasing visual image... not too long ago i saw that short video "for the birds" (or some such title) that is at the beginning of Monsters Inc.

if you can imagine a cartoon bird watching his two companions go *poof*, its pretty funny : )

kay October 29 2005 12:41 AM EDT

A man walks into a doctor's waiting room. He goes up to the receptionist and asks "I would like to see the doctor".

"I'm sorry, you can't see the doctor. He's an invisible man" the receptionist replies.

"Okay", the man says "Tell him I can't see him".

Then the doctor comes out of his office and starts moving pencils and chairs around and everyone thinks it's a ghost because he's invisible and no one can see him. Everyone in the crowded waiting room tries to rush for the exit. In the ensuing panic, three people are killed from asphyxiation.

! Love Barney October 29 2005 12:52 AM EDT

A 13 year old boy went to talk to his teacher after class because he didnt understand why he received half credit on a correct answer.
The teacher farted and fanned the stanky air in the boys direction.

Pysche October 29 2005 12:53 AM EDT


Maelstrom October 29 2005 1:08 AM EDT

??? ???

kay October 29 2005 1:11 AM EDT

A man wakes up tied to a chair in a dark room. A shadowy figure suddenly appears in front of the man and takes out a rusted machete.

"What are you going to do me? Why are you doing this?" The man cowers in fear.

"I was sent from the Void" the figure replies, "I was sent to kill you, to sacrifice a female virgin to the Second Sun."

"But I'm no woman!" The man retorts.

The figure then slices the man's nose off.

"Awwaaghh" The man purples in torment, "Auugh! Why? Why?".

Biscuitback October 29 2005 1:17 AM EDT

is it just me or.....

Mem October 29 2005 2:48 AM EDT

I do believe that the only thing humorous about Kay's jokes are that they feature a stunning lack of logic. I won't lie though, I laughed at them. Or perhaps it was at Kay...

Oh, and a guy walks into a bar...


RIPsalt3d October 29 2005 3:43 AM EDT

I nominate kay for forum-bannee of the week.

LumpBot October 29 2005 6:24 AM EDT

I second that nomination

Untouchable October 29 2005 9:38 AM EDT

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Maelstrom October 29 2005 9:42 AM EDT

RAMPAGE October 29 2005 9:58 AM EDT

Remembering The Faithful

At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of
silence to remember the faithful dead...

As the church grew quiet, a little boy sitting in front of me turned
to his father and said excitedly, "Dad, you have some of their

Adrian Exodus October 29 2005 10:11 AM EDT

i thought kays joke was funny... but i guess you just had to of been there.

Untouchable October 29 2005 2:37 PM EDT

I second that :D

Special J October 29 2005 2:54 PM EDT

So since the jokes don't make sense to you, he should be forum banned.

Wow, great idea.

RAMPAGE October 29 2005 3:04 PM EDT

If we use that standard 75% of CBers would be forum banned. =)

LumpBot October 29 2005 3:55 PM EDT

mrwuss, we said nothing about not getting the joke. I think it was more about the fact he flooded the posts with jokes that are purposely unfunny. Seems like trolling to me. But you're the admin.

Wonderpuff October 29 2005 5:56 PM EDT

They were pretty funny. Absurdism.

kay October 29 2005 7:08 PM EDT

"purposely unfunny."

Actually, they were meant to be purposely tasteless. The darkness and absurdity of the jokes I presented were meant to give a humorous effect.

"a stunning lack of logic."

Since when are all jokes supposed to be sensible?

I won't blame anyone for not getting them. We all see things differently.

Kefeck [Demonic Serenity] October 29 2005 7:33 PM EDT


LumpBot October 29 2005 8:55 PM EDT

Once again you completely reword what I said, I understand why you made such pointless jokes. Is there really a difference between "tasteless" and "unfunny"? maybe a better word for the sentence but I still understand why you wrote them. I'm saying still that flooding someone elses post with a bunch of lame jokes is trolling. Argue that and quit with the "You just don't get it" ordeal. Or do you just not get my post?

QBOddBird October 29 2005 8:59 PM EDT

I like kay's jokes, so you can all just bite me. There.

kay October 29 2005 9:36 PM EDT

if didn't like my jokes, don't cry about it. there

Untouchable October 29 2005 9:44 PM EDT

Lumpbot give it a rest. Or im gonna bite Oddbird. there :D
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