Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day.
The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until the man exploded.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.
Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.
When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake he doesnt get wet, the water gets chuck.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris once bowled a 400 game.
Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris doesn't see the color red, he hears it.
Unlike Mr. T, Chuck Norris doesn't pity the fool. He roundhouse kicks him.
Chuck Norris once ate his weight in Pizza.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the Blue Ringed Octopus of Eastern Australia, is the most venemous creature on Earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: Fever, Blurred Vision, Beard Rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris carved Mt. Rushmore by himself with his teeth. It took him thirty seconds.
Chuck Norris knows exactly where Wally is on every page. Even the pirate one.
Chuck Norris hates midgets and is developing a special lower version of his roundhouse kick just for them.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a chimney scrubber and bleach.
Chuck Norris created time. When asked why, he said because he wanted to clock his roundhouse kick.
Bootsanator December 22 2005 1:35 PM EST
haha, good website. those're pretty funny, but the top thirty changes all the time, b/c people can rate them. my favorite one apparently has been bumped off of the top list...
Chuck Norris does not shave, he roundhouse kicks himself in the face. Only Chuck Norris can cut Chuck Norris.
Random Quote:
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/
Top 30:
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty
There's links for vin diesel and mr. t at the bottom of the page, too.
