If Operating Systems were beer.. (in Off-topic)

If Operating Systems were beer..

DOS Beer:
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in
an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is
divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed
separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are
going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.

Mac Beer:
At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical.
When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients
list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you
are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds
you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

The soon-to-be-released "New" Version of Windows Beer:
You can't buy it yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and
claim it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but
tastes more like Windows XP Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when
you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most
people will probably keep drinking Windows XP Beer until either their
friends try the latest Windows Beer and say they like it or a worm
infests their current copy of Windows XP. The ingredients list, when
you look at the small print, has some of the same ingredients that
come in the ancient DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims
that this is an entirely new brew.

Open Source Beer

"Bartender, there are bugs in my Windows Beer!"
"No, those are the 'secret ingredients'. You'll be sorry if you try to fish them out!"

Jock vs Nerd:

Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.


If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.

He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.

He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.

If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you 'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.

While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.

This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.

Amazing isn't it? However...

If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.

Game over. Nerd wins.

Yeh, that's all nice and true, but MJ can fly! I bet Billy Gate can't even flap those scrawny arms of his because the ether is too dense!

If a tree falls in the forest and noone is there to hear it does it make a sound?

Not that question again, of course it does!
Just because nobody is there to hear it does not mean it suddenly stopped creating sound waves, if the sound waves are produced and heard from a tree falling it is easily deduced that even though no recipient is there the waves must still be produced.
That is exactly like asking "If someone turns a light on then leaves and nobody can see it, is it really on?"

If a tree falls in the forest, and hits a mime that is out of sight of everyone else, will the mime make a sound?

No the mime doesn't make a sound the invisible box the mime is trapped in takes the impact of the tree.

Hey, this thread is about BEER. Get back on topic!

oh yeah right beer..... Im not much of a drinker but Beer and OS are and interesting combo.

If Guinness were an OS...

It'd be a BSD based unix. (no I don't need a reason to link two things each with there own stellar level of greatness)

If Keystone light were an OS...

It'd be RedHat. (water down, luser friendly, non-os)

If Lucky Lager were an OS...

It'd be Amiga OS. (LL and the Amiga OS are just cool, ok?)

If Barley Wine was an OS...

It'd be Solaris. (Solaris is certainly the beligerent drunk of the OS world)

If Everclear (so it's not beer...thbbt) were an OS...

It'd be a toss up between AIX and ProDOS (hard to swallow, but quite effective)

Wow. Novice, where are you finding Lucky Lager? I have not seen any in Florida for almost 10 years. It was the best cheap brew I've ever tasted.

I've just got a whole heap of lucky lager stuff around, I don't know where, but it's still being made (likely the north west)...

I should bring that Neon sign in from the garage and get it fixed...