A man sees a beautiful woman...
Approaching her, and in his coolest Barry White tone, he says, "If
good looks where a minute, you would be an hour."
The woman looks deep into the man's eyes and in her sexiest voice
replies, "If good looks were within your reach, you wouldn't have any
arms."
Continental Breakfast
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact departure on
124.7."
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to departure ... by the
way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far
end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff. Contact departure on
124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and
yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."
Two Bucks More
One day a rich famous man went to buy an expensive sport's car from a
car dealership...
The price of the car was $80,000 and the man had only $79,998 to pay
with...
The sales associate insisted that the price is firm and it has to be
$80,000.
The man came out of the store and looked around and saw a poor man
begging for help...
He went toward him and introduced himself and asked if he would be
kind enough to lend him $2.
The poor man asked the rich man the reason, and the rich man replied
that he needed the money to buy a car.
The poor man thought for a moment. Then he gave the man $4 and
said, "Please buy one for me, too."
A Wise Mother
Sally and Miriam were discussing motherhood over a cup of tea at the
local roadside cafe. Sally had only one child while Miriam had nine...
"Do you handle your ninth the same way you did your first?" asked
Sally.
"Well," said Miriam, "I definitely handle illnesses differently now
then I did when my first born was young..."
"How so?" asked Sally.
"When the first born ran a high fever, I would call the ambulance.
When the ninth born recently swallowed a quarter, I told him that it
was coming out of his allowance!"
