If I had a monkey... (in Off-topic)

Vaynard [Fees Dirt Cheap] February 10 2006 3:27 PM EST

What would you do?

If I had a monkey... I'd train it to play CB! I think he could make it to the top as a single fireball mage! No skill is required after all! Of course, the whole botchecks and human language thing could be a problem.

gooey muppet February 10 2006 3:53 PM EST

If i had a monkey, i would train it to be the greatest martial artist in the world. I would also train it in classical studies, literature, the theater, economics, and fine cuisine.

I would expose my monkey to all the information worth knowing and train his mind and body daily.

I would teach my monkey about the world, about girls, and the environment. I would teach my monkey about world history and all the evil that has been perpetrated throughout the course of time. I would teach my monkey about philosophy and religion, but also about tolerance.

I would send my monkey back in time to try and right the many wrongs that shouldnt be. I would have him calm the question of the inquisitors and lower the swords of the crusaders. My monkey would kill hitler, sucker punch stalin, and force the communists to give up the cold war. Later, after Reagan steals all the credit, he will ride his time machine into the future; where he will cure cancer, write his memoirs and found a perfect utopian society based on the ideals of freedom, cooperation and crunchy peanut butter.

Basically, if i had a monkey. He would be a man, a man unlike any other.

QBOddBird February 10 2006 4:02 PM EST

If I had a monkey, I'd train him to be a studmonkey.

Together, we'd be an unstoppable team.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] February 10 2006 4:12 PM EST

his name would be ralphus, and he would be a very bad monkey indeed.

RAMPAGE February 10 2006 4:39 PM EST

If I had a monkey...I would get it hooked on crack and unleash it on the CB community.
Oh never mind it has been done once already. =)

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] February 10 2006 5:34 PM EST

If I had a monkey...

I'd spank it.

Angel of Death [Hell Blenders] February 10 2006 6:29 PM EST

i already have a monkey, he is called my little brother :p

RedWolf February 10 2006 6:34 PM EST

If I had a monkey, I would trade it for a siberian tiger with some hobo. Then I would sell that tiger for millions. After that, I would of course turn it all into CB2D. After buying a new computer, of course...;-)

NSFY February 10 2006 6:56 PM EST

I'd monkey in the morning.
I'd monkey in the evening.

maulaxe February 10 2006 6:58 PM EST

I am a trained monkey already... its called having a job.

Revs February 10 2006 7:23 PM EST

I would train my monkey to recruit and train other monkeys from various jungles. Then I would unleash them, a legion of trained monkeys in the Andes to corner the llama market. Monkeys on llama-back would ride the Andes, become porters and sherpa's on expeditions, etc until they carved out a nice niche in the economy. They would expand buying up estates and land titles. We would over tax the rich, and give to the poor. Then I would simply move there and become the Andes llama-back monkey sherpa king.

RAMPAGE February 11 2006 4:47 AM EST


monkeh February 16 2006 6:48 AM EST

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