OddBird's Day (in Off-topic)

RedWolf February 10 2006 9:40 PM EST

Here's how bored I was the past 20 minutes :-P I noticed forums were really boring the past week or so, so I thought I'd spice it up. I also noticed OB make a comment saying something along the lines of "You can make a post about me" so here goes:

It was January 19. A cold January 19. Obviously it wasn't this last January 19. This was January 19, 1986. OddBird was just coming home from the bar, when he spotted the piece of paper on the ground. It said " ome on over to Blu s plac Fre co ies an xtra caffei " He found it in a water puddle, by the way. This was a wet January 19, too. Cold and wet. So OddBird head's over to the address marked on the paper, " 54 ans n St "

When he arrived, there were strange noises coming from the house. But that just turned out to be the sick cow across the street. Half the animals in town were after him, so he hurried inside.

Blue was sitting in his comfortable recliner watching soap operas, when all of the sudden this big strange smelly bird burst in. He quickly reached under the coffee table to get his TSA, but remembered he gave it away to some newb. So then he began getting into position to cast a fireball, when suddenly the creature shouted "Artiatices!" which means "Don't cast a fireball on me, I am OddBird, your best buddy in the world and I just need to get in from outside because half the animals in the county are after me. Oh and I saw a piece of paper, but I can't remember what it said." in Oddbirdish. Blue relaxed and put down his pretend TSA on top of the coffee table, which happened to be glass, so it shattered, with a piece of glass Striking OddBird in the Forehead (3280!).

"I will fix that later." he said.
"Where is your restroom?" asked OddBird.
"Across the street in the pub. Ask for Bob. It's the second door on the diagonal."

OddBird quickly ran across the street. In doing so, he happened to run into Lukey. Promptly apologizing, he continued on his way. Lukey happened to be heading to Patagonia for a brain transplant.

After his business, OddBird sees a rat and runs down the street screaming. He slipped in a puddle, and after drying himself off on an old lady's sweater, resumed running and screaming. On the way he trips over a rat. Remembering that he had not eaten second breakfast, gobbles it up in one bite.

Suddenly a shot is heard. OddBird sees Gun around the corner, and goes the half-opposite direction a little bit to the left, but more to the right, then turns and goes down Main Street, where he meets tscm. After carping him several times, and watching him grovel in the gravel, he continues towards YNM's cardboard box. After carping tscm.

YNM is not home at the moment, so he heads over to his place of work: Taco Bell. Forgetting why he came to Taco Bell, OddBird gobbles up 3 soft tacos and a grande meal. He obviously forgot that he already ate second breakfast. Or perhaps he ate an early supper. He burps loudly.

The manager, BMW, kicks him out into the cold wet streets of March. BMW also manages to throw a few stones at him, snap a twig in half, and spit on a newb, while petting his pet 7-legged octopus.

OddBird meets a homeless man in the street.
"My what an interesting day I have had."
"Oh, tell me about it."
"Well, it started like this...."
OddBird tells his story to the homeless man on the side of the street. When he is done, the man hands him a piece of paper.
"I was writing down everything you said. Now you will never forget about today. That will be $385400, please."
"Oh jeez, here you go. I'm rich anyways."

OddBird opens up to the first page.
"OddBird's Day. By RedWolf. It was January 19...."

RedWolf February 10 2006 9:43 PM EST

Notice: Any comments in this thread about anybody do not reflect the true feelings of RedWolf in any way, shape or form.

QBOddBird February 10 2006 9:44 PM EST

Coincidentally, I had Taco Bell today.

Very nice, except I take offense at being called big and smelly.

/me slathers himself in Tag spray and leaves.

RedWolf February 10 2006 9:51 PM EST

Tag spray? and you wonder why half the animals in the county are after you :-P

{CB1}Lukeyman February 10 2006 10:07 PM EST

Haha, I used my Superbowl winnings to get the transplant!

sssimmo February 11 2006 12:12 AM EST

Great story RW, very funny I enjoyed it.

QBOddBird February 11 2006 12:23 AM EST

[OB]ForgeBird (BlueWater) [Red]Carcharoth (Neil) $1 -- $385400 12:22 AM EST

Thanks for never letting me forget today.

RedWolf February 11 2006 7:27 PM EST

err that would be $412378, with tax :-P rip off!
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