Mother Carnage Rhymes (in Contests)

1 mil for the best, 500k for the second best Carnage Blender Nursery Rhyme!

They can be about CB, The Game:

Hey, diddle diddle
Phantom Link in the middle
Might help your last minion survive

But a fireball so strong
That it melts the whole throng
Is no way to keep four alive

Or they can be about CB, The Community:

A young ruffian name Llama
Carried on without comma
His drama was over the top

A Cber named Bast
Threw her hands up and gasped,
"This carnage of words has to stop!"

The usual rules:

1. Be nice! Or at least don't be cruel or malicious :P
2. PG people!
3. Multiple entries are allowed
4. Deadline is noon (server time) a week from Saturday (April 22nd)

Game on!

Ranger's TAB sat on a wall.
Ranger got mad and forced a great fall.
All CB's mages and all CB's tanks.
Couldn't make Ranger come back again!

And, on a slightly higher note:

I am a pretty little Dutch girl,
You can call me Mr. Beee,
And all the boys in the neighborhood,
Are crazy over me!

Little Mrs. Beee, playing for free
made me giggle like I was 3
until she started, stomping on me.

Hey muddle fuddle, bast fell in a puddle
The admin thumped th00p on the head
The little mage giggled to see such a pickle
And (GW) was changed to a "Fred"

G_Bee! G_Bum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman.
Bee he 'live, or bee he dead,
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

The first little minion had HP,
The second little minion made haste,
The third little minion hated magic,
and the fourth little minion went BOOM!

Thus ends the prophecy of Ranger's Apocalypse Book.

I'm a little tank, short and stout,
Here is my hammer, here is my tat.
If you think I fear you, you are wrong,
for my AC is just too strong.

so they bite? I not a poet...

Bar, bar bart sleep
You never do
Yes sir, yes sir
No ones fool

Ban one for a curser
And one for being lame
And one for the little cheat
That brings down the game

Two little guys pumping up the thread;
Shade passed by and he peeped in;
"What are you doing, my little men?"
"Pumping Thread for Gentlemen."
"Shall I come in and cut off your thread?"
"No, no, Mister Shade, you'd bite off our heads."
"No, Johnywas, I'll not; I'll help you pump."
"That may be so, but you don't jump in!"

snickery, clickery, snack,
The Vorpal run through the tank,
The tank struck back,
The blade went crack,
snickery, clickery, snack.

In Spring Bee look gay,
Decked in comely parade,
In Summer less clothing Bee wear;
When colder belly grows,
Bee fling off Bee's clothes,
And in Winter quite naked appear.

Train, train, train, your bot
To build up lots of steam.
cheat-away, cheat-away, cheat-away, cheat-away,
CB is like a dream.

There once were a pair of duelists,
Rhyme was their chosen swords,
they dueled back and forth,
fighting like a pair of lords,
until their fingers were on fire,
and their rhyme was just plain tired.

Wolfie-dum and Wolfie-dee
Resolved to have a battle,
For Wolfie-dum said Wolfie-dee
Had tired of his prattle.

Just then flew by a strange OddBird,
with limericks all amoral,
Roffle-ing both the dumdums so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.

Sweet Madam Beee, when
she wanted a yachtsman,
Made one small misstep --
Ended up with a Scotsman!

Down Click Down
Hurry up before I am found
Why too many botchecks?
Ask Jon, I clicked clicked
Who start farming me now?
Ah, It's Ranger time, I bow!
What a naughty boy was that
Try to drown poor Slayers'me,
Who ne'er did any harm
But killed all the "Bee's"
In one set of "Bee's A"!

. Be nice! Or at least don't be cruel or malicious :P

Bast should read the rules :)

People mind not targeting me lol? The first one was funny... Bast's wasn't. So at least make it funny if it involves drama/wolves/llama's. lol thank you.


Oh and so I not completely wasting a post complaining I will now embarass you all with another beautiful poem.

Jon nerfed tanks and I don't care,
Jon nerfed tanks and I don't care,
Jon nerfed tanks and you all mooooaannnnn,
Jon nerfed mages and no one noticed....

Circular, circular, fire,
Barzoo's situation was dire;
The man in black soon brought him back,
Circular, circular, fire.

Hush-a-bye, newbie, at the NUB top!
When the month turns the changes will rock;
When changemonth comes the strats they will fall;
Down will come newbie, NUB, strat and all.

Tank and Wall went down the hall
to fetch a lonely mager.
Wall fell in, broke his Durin
and Tank sank shortly after.

"Johnnywas, Johnnywas,
Where can you be?"
"I've been to Scotland
To visit Queen Beee."

"Johnnywas, Johnnywas,
What did you there?"
"I tried to outdrink her
and fell off my chair."

Craven Raven, chocolate mousse,
Trained a mage and turned it loose.
When UC Cylo came to play,
Craven Raven ran away.

This old mage, he played one,
Launched a fireball with his thumb,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old archer, he played two,
Used his bow and shot you through,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old E, he played three,
Cast a spell and gained hp,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old W, he played four,
Took a hit and had room for more,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old jon, he played five,
Nerfed the tanks and made mages thrive,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old ZAP, he played six,
Spoke and got a bunch of kicks,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old Dawg, he played seven,
Used his morg and sent his enemies to heaven,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old veteran, he played eight,
Used his E as some bait,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old llama, it played nine,
Something happened and it started to whine,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old player, he played ten,
BA refreshed and then clicked fight again,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old noob, he played eleven,
Put on some excessive gear and watched his pr leaven,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you,

This old shade, he played twelve,
Compiled some stats and started to delve,
With a snicker-snack, hammer whack,
Give the dwarf his due,
This old tat came home with you.

Yes folks, it's time for that ageless classic:

"How much is that Tulwar in the Rentals?"


How much is that Tulwar in the Rentals?
The one that fits no strat at all
How much is that Tulwar in the Rentals?
Won't pay near that price though it's small!

How much is that AxBow in the Auctions?
The one that was recently nerfed.
How much is that AxBow in the Auctions?
I do think I'll bid 1/2 Net Worth!

How much is that Morgul in the forums?
The one that maims e-ver-y man.
How much is that Morgul in the forums?
I do hope you take short pay plans!

How much is that Trebuchet in the Changelog?
The one that shoots farther than bows
How much is that Trebuchet in the Changelog?
I fear that we never will know!

Sutekh, Sutekh, Todd and Stump,
They clicked fight then talked to Lump,
She made a bot to help the players,
but wasn't used due to helpful slayer.

Ranger and Mantra went up the hill to see who could get higher,
Ranger fell down, and lost his crown, and Mantra will soon come after.

Okay so this next one may not be a nursery rhyme, but I still wanted to parody a song with a little Carnage of my own.

A long long time ago, I can still remember when the Changes used to make me smile. And I knew if I had my chance, I could make those changes pass, and maybe I'd be happy for a while. But January made me shiver, with every change He did deliver. Jon changed one more strat, I just changed my last strat! I can't remember if I cried, when I read about his nerf of fire. Something touched me deep inside, the day, my strat did die.

We started singing, Bye, bye this here fireball guy, took a heavy nerf already now he'll surely die. Them good old boys were laughing when they saw him die, singing this'll be the day that he'll die, this'll be the day that he will die.

Did you beat The Apocalypse Book, and do you have faith in Fireball. If Mantra tells you so. Now do you believe that paper beats rock, can magic missile kill your back row, and can you teach me how to forge, my elbow. Now I know that you loved your RoS, cause I saw you boosting up your AS. You both took off your elven boots, man I think they got a boost. I had a lonely little fireball with a pair of Alatar's and CoI, But I knew I was out of luck, the day, my strat died.

So Bye, bye this here fireball guy, took a heavy nerf already now he'll surely die. Them good old boys were laughing when they saw him die, singing this'll be the day that he'll die, this'll be the day that he will die.

I met a girl who changed her strat, and I asked her for some happy news. She just laughed and sold out anyway. I went down to camp the store, where I'd bought the rares, months before, but the man there said the rares had went away. And in the forums the fs/wtb, had changed and you couldn't post here anymore. But not a word was spoken, the church bells all were broken. And the three men I admire most: Ranger, Chappy, and Leon, got rid of their last thing and sold out, The day Jon nerfed my guy.

And we were singing, Bye, bye this here fireball guy, took a heavy nerf already now he'll surely die. Them good old boys were laughing when they saw him die, singing this'll be the day that he'll die, this'll be the day that he will die.

Crafty Carnagery Clop
To keep your contest at the top
An extra rhyme you can pump
To get a thread bump
Crafty Carnagery Clop

It's not a rhyme, but maybe it'll do.

It's only worth six grinds,
But it's worth a million finds.
If you're ever caught dead,
with whatever you said,
you'll be /killed for no reason by the Fed.

^ - Odd limerick, isn't it? =P
Fed = the chat operators of CB.

Gonna keep these simple. 

// Itsy Bitsy Spidah // 
Itsy Bitsy Spidah climbing up the CB spout 
Down came the rain and washed poor Spidah out 
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain 
Now Itsy Bitsy Spidah went up the spout again! 

// Magey had a little flame // 
Magey had a little flame its glow was white as snow; 
And everywhere that Magey went, the flame was sure to go. 
It followed her to school one day, which was against the rule; 
It made the children burn and crisp, to see a flame at school. 
And so the teacher put it out, but still it lingered near, 
And waited patiently about till Magey did appear. 
"Why does the flame love Magey so?" the eager children cry; 
"Why, Magey loves the flame, you know" the teacher did reply. 

// Old King Beee //
Old King Beee was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he; 
He called for his pint in the middle of the night 
And he called for his criminals three. 
Every criminal had a fine swindle, and a very fine swindle had he; 
Oh there's none so rare as can compare 
With King Beee and his criminals three. 

// Mage Mage Go Away //
Mage mage go away,
all the Tanks they cry all day. 
Little Jon wants to play; 
Mage, mage, go to Spain, 
Never show your face again!

Clever Ranger was a danger
To the veterans of CB1.
TAB was the name, CB was the game
he stopped them from being top gun.

http://www.carnageblender.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=001k8B

I won this months ago!

Mighty Ranger sits in the old player tree,
Merry Merry king of the score is he,
Laugh Mighty Ranger,
Laugh Mighty Ranger,
How powerful your char must be,

Mighty Ranger sits in the old player tree,
Beating all the usurpers he can see,
Stop Mighty Ranger,
Stop Mighty Ranger,
Leave some people for me,

Mighty Ranger sits in the old player tree,
Counting all the nub's he can see,
Wait Mighty Ranger,
Stop Mighty Ranger,
That's not a nub, thats me!

Mikel_III sat on a wall,
Mikel_III had a great fall,
For at the end of its NCB,
He was sold to Lukey,
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Couldn't put Mikel-III together again.

The Old BarzooMonkey
Went to the trunk he
Kept his prize money in a lump
When he opened the top
CB$ flowed without stop
And the thread got itself a nice bump

Okay, as has become my usual behavior, I'm adding a third prize, so 1 mil 1st, 500k 2nd, and
250k 3rd, as follows:

1st place because of the amount of effort that went into it, because it's faithfulness to the format of
the original rhyme that it is based on, and because it pays homage to everyone's best friend, the
forge dwarf: PitSpawn's "Snicker-snack Hammer-Whack".

BarzooMonkey (Penultimate Days) 64.65.211.77 {cb1}PitSpawn
(Spirit Of The Night) $1000000 -- CB Rhyme winner! 2:56 PM EDT

2nd place because it is the only one that literally made me laugh out loud (Probably too loudly and
for too long), Bast's interpretation of "Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle Dee".

BarzooMonkey (Penultimate Days) 64.65.211.77 QBBast (Tobey) $500000 -- CB Rhymes 2nd!
2:57 PM EDT

And, finally, 3rd place to [Hybrid]Truc for that ageless classic: "How much is that Tulwar in the
Rentals?"

BarzooMonkey (Penultimate Days) 64.65.211.77 [Hybrid]Truc
(VehicularManslaughter) $250000 -- CB Rhymes 3rd! 2:58 PM EDT

Thank for playing kids :)

Thank you, Barzoo! That was terribly fun!

Congratulations Old Mother HubBast. ;)

As a cradle snatcher, you are no just arbiter of "old".

Ouch!

Since when did I become a cradle snatcher?!?!?!??! Lol!

I think she's referring to the difference in age between you and your wife :P

yeah but I'm not old! Just a bit Peter Pan...

Hmmm...

Bast is objecting to the "Old", but not the "Mother"...

I had no idea you were a mommy Bast...WOOT!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

We are all Bast's children. :)

Bast is the Chosen One.

;)

Carmen Electra? I don't think so.

Mmmmmm.... Carmen Electra. :)