Did anyone have bully problems... (in Off-topic)


Seran [Hidden Agenda] January 19 2007 8:04 AM EST

...when he / she was at grade school?

I was constantly bugged by a fat kid when I was at around grade 5 / 6. Every single second back then made my life worse.

He called me "pig" and other stuff, for one thing. He even mocked the street that I lived on.

AdminG Beee January 19 2007 8:16 AM EST

He was probably insecure because people called him "fat".

The Cornerback23 January 19 2007 8:48 AM EST

There was this one kid that tried to pick on everybody but he couldnt even get out of a desk without picking the whole thing up so nobody even really cared what e said about them.

Hi im Jake January 19 2007 9:14 AM EST

there was a kid at my school who was a little chubby and he picked on people untill he picked on the wrong person and a couple of us got together and beat the crap out of him

Xiaz on Hiatus January 19 2007 9:26 AM EST

Kids can be cruel

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 19 2007 9:31 AM EST

I was.

Xiaz on Hiatus January 19 2007 9:55 AM EST

You were?

Maelstrom January 19 2007 10:02 AM EST

Most kids will only bully or tease another kid if they can get a reaction. If you don't let bullying or teasing bother you, then they'll stop and move on to someone else. Back in junior high, people tried to tease me, but I'd either ignore them or agree with them: "Sure, I'm a nerd, so what?" Say it in a friendly, joking way, not timidly or angrily, and they'll go away.

Sirus, I don't mean to offend you in any way by saying this, but I get the impression that it would be quite fun to tease you - you always react to things, and take them too far. That's exactly what a bully is looking for. Just mellow out, man.

:D

Whoa! What's this: "nerd" isn't in the dictionary?!?! Come on nerds, let's gather together and protest this insult to our kind! ;)

QBJohnnywas January 19 2007 10:10 AM EST

I used to get bullied at school. Until I learnt to box, oh and made friends with the tallest maddest kid in my class. That might have helped some...

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] January 19 2007 10:13 AM EST

Mael, that theory is all well and good when it works for someone but take it from someone who tried it all through his school life yet was still bullied for all that time, most bullies just don't get it.
Some bullies go for the reaction but most just get enjoyment out of doing it regardless of the reaction, they go for who they believe to be the weakest and stick with them for as long as humanly possible.
I had the same 2 bullies verbally and physically attack me for 5 to 6 years through middle school and into high school (the Redditch school system has a 3 tier sytem) where I'd have long periods of trying to ignore them, agreeing with them, helping them understand their problems and the only thing which eventually worked to at least stop it for a while was fighting back.

AdminG Beee January 19 2007 10:15 AM EST

Playing rugby for the year above me at school whilst being 6" and about 190lbs by the time I was 13 kinda solved any potential problems for me I guess.

I was never a bully or bullied. I guess if you don't want bullied - grow big.

In saying that, I always felt the kids with big ears got everything they deserved ;)

Maelstrom January 19 2007 10:16 AM EST

Guess I was just lucky that there were more amusing targets around than myself, eh? ;)

Gandalf January 19 2007 10:20 AM EST

Yeah i wad bullied in year 4-6 by almost everybody in the year above

and in my year for no reason. =/ But the best thign was they had to

catch me first as im very fast runner. =) One time this lad proper

beat me up and he turned story round and said i was bullying him

teacher believed him and i got into trouble for it. =/

QBJohnnywas January 19 2007 10:25 AM EST

"the only thing which eventually worked to at least stop it for a while was fighting back."

Zog, it's not seen as the right way to deal with bullying, but in my experience (and in all seriousness I had bullies to deal with all the way through school) fighting back, either verbally or physically, is the only real way to stop it. Some of the bullies in my school did it for fun. No deeper reason than that; no secret jealousy of their victims, no bullying at home, just_for_fun. And so the only way to avoid it was to stop being an easy target. Which involved either being smarter than them, (which unless you made them laugh didn't stop the physical bullying) or hitting back.

My mum always told me not to listen to my dad on this subject but he gave me this advice when I started school. "If anybody picks on you hit them as hard as you can. You may get beaten up, but if you hurt them bad enough they'll leave you alone." And as a civilised decent human being I hate to say it, but it was the best advice anybody has ever given me.

I never had bullying as bad as some, but it was a constant fact at school. As a small child I had a different accent to the other kids in school, having lived elsewhere. As a teenager I was into the wrong clothes and music. I was clever as far as grades went, and not good at sport. But I hung out with the weirdos and misfits. I disappeared in the summer holidays to live with my dad. I just didn't fit in. And standing up for myself was the only way to make myself fit in.

Eurynome Bartleby [Bartleby's] January 19 2007 10:31 AM EST

Sadly, I can't help but agree with Johnnywas.
I stopped being bullied when I smashed one of my agressors's face.

Gandalf January 19 2007 10:31 AM EST

yeah Johnny thats what my dad told me i hit one of them back but

it usually involved in the whole year beating me, i think they did it

because i was the funniest to chase down and for entertainment...

now if anybody bullied me i most of them wouldn't stand a chance

but then there's some big guys, which mostly are my friends. =p

AdminG Beee January 19 2007 10:32 AM EST

Johnny, you may be on to something. After all it worked for Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke.

Morale: If you can't fight back, try eating 50 hard boiled eggs.

QBJohnnywas January 19 2007 10:33 AM EST

It's not the best way for everyone, some bullies are just psychos, but for those who bully out of cowardice it's the only way I found to work.

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] January 19 2007 10:45 AM EST

Both my mother and father told me to fight back. Living in the Midlands as a child is a hard thing to do especially if you are a hard worker rather than a 'cool kid'.
They were both bullied as children too until they fought back, they weren't proud of it but they knew that in the area it is the only thing to do as none of the bullies there have an ounce of intelligence.
There was only one bully I couldn't stand up to and that was because he was 18 while I was only about 14, he made my paper round impossible by either stealing the trolley or tipping it over whenever I walked up to the doors to put the papers in and once he chased me up a mountain of rubble at a building site and threatened to push me off in front of the workmen in broad daylight, now that's a psycho for you.

TheHatchetman January 19 2007 11:32 AM EST

I was always a big kid, tall, with a good bit of girth... I enjoyed bullying the bullies. If you didn't absolutely deserve it, you didn't get it from me :)

QBOddBird January 19 2007 12:30 PM EST

Never had a problem with bullies, as I was a smart kid and friends with the popular girls. The guys wanted to be on my good side so I could put in a good word for them and so that I'd still offer my HW services (for $20 a week I'd do all your HW for that week).


I suppose the morale here is: Use women to your advantage and cheat wherever possible? 0=)

I'm terrible, I know.

Slashundhack [We Forge Our Own Stuff] January 19 2007 12:35 PM EST

Yes and no I was a big kid with an old man who harped on me about not being a bully.Thus it would take a lot to make me angry because I'd hold it in and in.So being a meta would keep the big guys off but the odd little guy would keep at me for a month or so till I'd snap and go berserk on them.I guess they were getting back at the big guys?

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] January 19 2007 12:37 PM EST

Lol OB.
Being smart gets you nowhere where I was born (except face first in the mud).
There was no way we could offer homework services as no matter how believeable we could try and make it we knew the teachers would all be too smart to notice that the quality was slightly better or that they actually handed in some work for once.
The other problem was that all the good looking and popular girls were already hanging around with the idiots and thought it was funny what they did.

Slashundhack [We Forge Our Own Stuff] January 19 2007 12:47 PM EST

Oh I tried to take the high road but I can't let it go.G beee six inches ? Just what were you measuring ?? And how can it possibly weigh 190 lbs?

QBJohnnywas January 19 2007 12:50 PM EST

lol, I just read that Slash. Actually there a lot of six inch high Scotsmen who weigh 190 lbs....just don't spill their pint.

SaintChristopher January 19 2007 1:02 PM EST

I have to agree with the general consensus here that sometimes, breaking a bully's nose is the way to stop him. What's even better is if you completely humiliate him in front of his friends simultaneously :)
I managed to move up a couple of social rungs [i certainly couldn't go any lower] with just a few jabs and a couple sarcastic quips.

As an interesting aside, there was a group of kids who would go around bag snatching on Halloween [basically, stealing candy from little kids].
When i was 14, me and a crew sat around and waited to catch these kids in the act... then promptly beat the snot out of them and returned the candy to its rightful owners :)

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 19 2007 4:10 PM EST

>_< Lol! I was cruel, I was bullied terribly at school.

Then a started studying Karate (and have moved around MA ever since) and putting bulk (Fat really) on. nd it sort of tailed off from physical abuse to metal anguise.

Which I was mentally strong enough (and had a great solid core of freinds, I still love and keep in contact with to this day) that I just ignored. ;)

Names might never hurt you, but 5th years running you groin first into a tree bloody well will!

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 19 2007 4:12 PM EST

Oh and the hitting the bully back usually doesn't work I'm afrid. They just get mates to tag team you.

You humiliate them, they come back with an advatage and make it so much worse for you in return...

somehow, getting them to relate to you is usually the much better way. Without being a subserviant toady.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 19 2007 4:14 PM EST

I wasn't cruel! >_<

Slashundhack [We Forge Our Own Stuff] January 19 2007 7:52 PM EST

You know when I was growing up if you did the two on one thing you got it from a big group of guys that forced you to "fight fair".The same if you were 1 or 2 years older.I think it had something to do with the WW2 guys still being young.Things changed in the late 60's though to more the way things are now. Pity seemed better some how then, 20/20 hind site ?

InebriatedArsonist January 20 2007 1:06 AM EST

Slashundhack: Oh I tried to take the high road but I can't let it go.G beee six inches ? Just what were you measuring ?? And how can it possibly weigh 190 lbs?

-Having a height of six inches is rather easy to attain, as long as you're measuring his height when he's passed out on the floor.

Tyriel [123456789] January 20 2007 1:14 AM EST

I managed to escape bullying through the early grades, even though I was (and still am) fairly short and skinny.

I had a good group of friends behind me, even if something did happen to me.

My friend (who's practically the exact same as me) wasn't so lucky. He was punched in the face in Grade 5. >.< I still remember it. Not like I saw it, or anything. I just remember lots of gasping. -gasp-

Flamey January 20 2007 1:32 AM EST

These tips all work, but in their own way.

The school I goto is not what you call the brightest, best or well behaved.

If you weren't a 'cool kid' at my school, no matter what, you'll usually get abused. I goto an all boys school, I'm sure it would've been better if there were girls here, I think a lot would be disgusted, but, yes, then some wouldn't care, and a lot of the popular girls, would, yes you guessed it, hang around the 'cool kids'.

There are a crap load of 'em at my school, so hitting them back is the worst thing you can do, you'll get bashed, your face will be smashed in.

Depending on who exactly they are, is how you deal with them. If they're a big loner kid with friends who aren't like him or doesn't have any, yeah you could probably smash him in the face and he'll stop.

A lot of the time, if they're not aggressive and tend to stick to the verbal abuse, be smart, say something that'll humiliate them, put thought into your comebacks, say things other than the typical swear words, when you fight back.

Ignoring works at my school, my hat used to get stolen from me all the time, because you know, its fun to steal a kid's hat and throw it around. As soon as they took it from my head, I'd continue whatever I was doing, continue with the conversation, it works. My hat gets left somewhere or gets brought back to me.

But I tend to stick with the smart comebacks, everyone laughs, they get embarrassed and they'll come back with a not-so great comeback and get laughed at even more, but that is, if they're not aggressive.

It all depends on the situation, no one thing will work.

You'd need to tell us the situation or whoever is helping you to really help.

MrC [DodgingTheEvilForgeFees] January 20 2007 3:58 AM EST

Hehe, yeah. Every day up until about year nine.

Picture an arrogant, brainy minature version of me. Now picture the school bully twice as tall wth three times the weight. Ouchies.

Then I turned into more of a jock and befriended some bloke who did boxing. That did that trick. Brave them bullies aren't they? ;)

With my current job I run into a lot of similar people who back in the day probably would have thought it'd be cool to put a rubish bin on my head or something, I wonder if I am actually too smart or too big for them now or it's just the absence of the school environment?

That's the problem with bullying though, most adults don't acknowledge the difference between workplace bullying and school bullying so consequently all the advice the kids get is more likely to cause them a broken nose than anything else.

TheHatchetman January 20 2007 4:11 AM EST

I've noticed when fighting at most younger ages (below 20 at least), that 2 people fighting is a lot like 2 tanks in CB with No AC or DX and high ST... Whoever gets the first good shot off wins. Suckerpunch the bully in the nose if necessary. He'll grab it, it'll bleed, he will cry. Problem solved...

Mrs Beee January 20 2007 4:27 AM EST

I have to say I have been bullied all my life. From my sister being jealous of me being the youngest of 5 and as she put it 'being spoiled', to having to get glasses in primary 1 and being called 'specky' through primary. To being called names for being so small in secondary to workplace bullying. I feel this because of my lack of height people feel superior and think they can abuse you. lol, forgot college and university... they were ok from what i remember of them!

smallpau1 - Go Blues [Lower My Fees] January 20 2007 5:14 AM EST

GBeee still harrasses her to this day though, =P

Mrs Beee, i had that same problem, hence my name, =P
But i like the name, cuz my true friends gave it to me and called me it for the right reasons.

But i always got picked on cuz of my size as well, but if someone was roughing me up, i was at the perfect height to elbow someone right in the groin and then run, and i was fastest in our school, so nobody ever caught me, lol.

Slashundhack [We Forge Our Own Stuff] January 20 2007 5:54 AM EST

Specky? On this side of the pond that would be a cute nickname.Makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy .G Beee give her a hug for all of us.

Maelstrom January 20 2007 8:27 AM EST

Hmm. Is this the start of a new nickname? Specky Beee? ;)
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