Inspiration to us all. (in Off-topic)
March 6 2008 8:08 AM EST
I want to have that guy's attitude if I ever make it to 75 years old.
This is a job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny...
Here it goes!
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of pens and post-it notes
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? : I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE.... 7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
March 6 2008 1:42 PM EST
thank you for posting your spam from your inbox.
it's not real either.
March 6 2008 1:55 PM EST
doesnt mean u gotta rain on his parade, hotshot
March 6 2008 3:39 PM EST
humour doesn't count as spam :)
It probably isn't real, but then again I watched a friend fill out an application just as sarcastically. (I don't remember if he actually turned it in or not.)
March 6 2008 3:58 PM EST
i liked it lol its funny
March 6 2008 4:00 PM EST
/me gives Khardin a hug.
Do you feel better now? I know I do.
March 6 2008 4:01 PM EST
It's not real. Just so everyone knows. I knew that when I read it but I like it so I didn't wanna poo poo on anyones parade. You can check stuff like this at the snopes website (excellent info site) and this "application" has been circulating for years in a similar form. This particular one is new to this year I think.
Having said that... thanks for sharing a smile Tal!!!
March 6 2008 4:03 PM EST
Regardless of the post's veracity, I will fill out applications just like that if I ever need to find a job at 75 years old.
March 6 2008 5:55 PM EST
if I need money that bad when I'm 75 I'm gonna go multi with several P/P accounts and a bunch of evasion RBF mages!!! /me looks around for the future crime squad. oh and /me gives Tal another big hug!
"It probably isn't real, but then again I watched a friend fill out an application just as sarcastically. (I don't remember if he actually turned it in or not.)"
If ya meant me, then yeah, I did turn that one in... Didn't get a call back on it though :(
March 6 2008 6:16 PM EST
j'bob, I'll be dead by the time you're 75 so you'll at least have one less admin to worry about.
My sister went to a second interview for a job in the finance industry today.
She didn't think she had much hope, so asked to do a 15 minute presentation, she showed the panel how to make origami penguins, and was then very honest on her interview (she couldn't be bothered to do the usual interview schpiel).
Before she had left, they called her back and offered her the job!
I'm gonna grill her for more info tonight! ;)
This thread is closed to new posts.
However, you are welcome to reference it
from a new thread; link this with the html
<a href="/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=002NAm">Inspiration to us all.</a>