Yeah, I know I just posted this in sut's thread, but right after doing so, I felt it deserved it's own thread, so here goes ^_^
Y'see, as a younger man, OB was traveling through the desert after some jailbait hitchhiker he picked up kicked him out of his own car in the middle of nowhere. He traveled for many hours without water or food, his vision and sanity suffering over time. In the distance, he saw a bunch of trees and a clear sparkiling lake. Several hours later, he approached his vision only to find that the desert had been playing tricks on his mind, but this new sight was also something to behold. For it was a young Halidon familiar! :o
OB saw that the little familiar was tied by its leg to something possibly deep in the sand. Remembering what had happened last time he tried to take the "easy score" that put him in this situation, he decided to help the young Hal. No sooner did he touch the bind that trapped the poor familiar than a junction enchanter rose from the ground below creating a massive sandstorm.
The junction enchanter casted an awesomely powerful dispell magic on OB, only he is of a species incapable of learning enchant defense spells, otherwise his trip through the desert may have been a bit more hasty. Instead, the part of the brain targeted by dispell magic, happened to be the part of OB's brain that determines vocabulary. All his words are ruined! Especially his B's! :o
Luckily for OB, the junction enchanter did not have any HP, ST, DX, haste, GA, or AS trained. So the ensuing battle was quite one-sided with OB reigning victorious and fiercely belting out "You doody head!" At that point, OB began to feel a gas bubble in his stomach... He had to fart... Embarassed, he decided to tell the Hal to wait at that spot while he looked ahead.
OB ran severel hundred feet away from the young Hal, looked around at the barren desert, and saw nobody. He leaned away from the faint breeze, and decided to let one rip. No sooner than he finished his farting did he hear the words "who farted?" It was an entire high school marching band! In the middle of the desert! Surely they must be on their way back to somewhere, yes?
Our fearless hero runs back to the Halidon and picks it up, activating it's power. After aiming the Hal at the dorky-looking kid in the back of the line with a flute, arrows take flight. The kid is impailed. So OB ran to grab the uniform and bury the body (amazing, for once, all the sand in the desert came in handy). The bloodstains were hardly noticable on the already dark red band uniforms. And with his Hal in the kids backpack, he followed the band right back to their school where he quickly ditched the disguise and made his way home.
It wasn't until that night he noticed that all his words were gone due to the not-so-powerful beast in the sand. He then made a decision that he would someday dig up the entire desert to assure that any and all creatures of kin to the one that had altered his brain were destroyed. Unfortunately, OB was still embarassed to explain the reason for his life goal. So he set out for a cover story. What excuse could he have possibly had for playing in the sand all day? Who does that besides 2 year olds and people who've had their vocabulary destroyed by powerful DM/junction enchanters?
Archaeologists do! So on a mission to become an archaeologist, he knew he had to go to college, with a history major. But what kind of place would have a college that would even consider passing somebody without a vocabulary for something as respectable as a history major? Where could one without knowledge of proper words blend in. All hope was near lost... Depressed, he turned on the radio, because music always seemed to cheer him up in the past. Who else, but Lynyrd Skynyrd was on the radio, with the answers to all his problems...
This, my fellow blenders, is the story of our favorite ooty (remember the issue with the B's now). I don't exactly like that I have had to put all his business out there, but I feel it will help us gain a bit of perspective on who we are dealing with. Please, try to be sensative, and yes, the lynard skynard thing was a reference to sweet home alabama :P
