Things about Australia (in Off-topic)

What have you heard about Australian people? Let's see what kinds of myths about Australian people and culture are out there... (I live in Australia)

That Australians with any kind of taste feel about Foster's the same way i feel about Miller or Bud.

blech

Your countrymen enjoy a great deal of strudel, wiener schnitzel, & goulash. The bocks are a national delight, particularly the holiday brew. Your Folkloretänze has blessed us with the waltz (thank you) and the polka (thanks a lot). You all look great in your sexy little modern variant of lederhosen.

It's a great place to emigrate to. I wish I'd done it 14 years ago when I first had the chance. It's still very much on the agenda for me and the family and I may end up there within the next 3 - 5 years.

Adelaide - lovely place.

Cost of living is much cheaper than the UK and because of the weather there's a great "outdoor" life for the kids to be brought up in.

Oh yeah - and if you swim in the sea a shark will get you !

I heard Australia people originated from Austria, this was back before the Messiah was around, a few weeks ago to be exact, if I remember correctly. And then the Egyptians came over from Egypt and built that big rock you call Oolooroo (sp?), good folk they were, very good architects you see. Some say the folks that come from them UFO's created Australia, but I just reckon the UFO folk brought over the drink they call VB and the delicious tar like paste you call Vegemite.

Then Caption Hook came down from Never Ever Land and discovered Van Dieman's Land and then they brang all the criminals over from England and then the criminals escaped into the Outback and then they built the Opera House, shortly after they built a bridge, although all they wanted was a BIG coat hanger. They called the bridge, the Sydney Harbour Bridge probably because it was built in Sydney, it was in the harbour and funny enough it joined two pieces of land, a bridge basically.

Then a HUGE shark they call JAWS took a bite out of the southern coast of Australia, you call it the Great Australian Bite, if I remember correctly. Meanwhile the sea was parted and the man they call the Messiah came over and brang his Twelve Apostles and they turned into rocks, and stood the test of time, unfortunately recently one of them fell over, he had a crook leg you see.

Then a few animals swam over from Austria to Australia and they got mutated by the radioactive waste buried in Australia and they turned into the Wombat, Kangaroo, Koala and all the other marsupial animals you have. Then there was a huge earthquake that measured 17.89201 on the richter scale and then a piece of Australia fell off and all the people on that piece of land were stranded for a long time and they became known as Tasmanians.

Then one day an Australia convict stole a odd looking ball and he began running, he was extremely hungry and tried to take a bite and he dropped the ball that strangly enough bounced back up and he caught it, while doing this he was being chased by a whole team of people. This was the origin of the sport you call Aussie Rules, as you can see an astounding amount of creativity was put into the name.

I really should stop reading the Hitchhiker's guide because it's warping my mind, I mean my towel. Where is my towel?

Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Steve Irwin. Need I say more? ;)

Throw another shrimp on the barbie, and get me another tinnie shela!

You drongo...

I'm in Australia, but not from Australia.
One thing I couldn't understand how can Australian eat Vegemite?

i live in sydney :)

I know all about Australia, I eat at Outback Steakhouse all the time. Boomerangs; Kangaroos; The outback;... something about being populated by criminals. (What kind of criminals was it, exactly? Murderers and thieves and stuff like that, or was it mostly white-collar criminals like hackers and bad accountants?)

Actually, I spent a week in Perth back in '85. Lovely country. Have you guys figured out how to drive on the right side of the road yet?

Everything I hear is how perfect it is down there, maybe it's the news, but I never hear anything bad about you guys crime/disaster wise. Also you guys have amazing Bloomin' Onion, Cheese Fries, and Alice Springs Chicken.

Oh, and I was told by a very unreliable source that there are more women than men, so when you go out and about to flirt, the chicks hit on men instead.

On the back of my fathers birth certificate it clearly states that the penalty for misuse is a fine / jail sentence or deportation to Australia.

Looks like they weren't too particular who got sent there.

Weren't all the convicts sent to Australia?

Spaceman, it's true that there are more women than men in Australia, but it's not true to a certain point that women hit on men.

Wasp, that's true. Convicts from England were sent to Australia.

No some were elected to public office.

ah, so that's the origin of the joke:

Q: What do you tell a convict that's been exiled to an island along with thousands of other criminals for decades when you go to visit him?

A: G'day, mate!

explains a lot.

Also, I've heard you lot have kangaroos, lots of snakes, and the legendary Fire Bird the Native Americans here talk about. From what they say, it migrated.

Australia is known as the 'multicultural melting pot'. Take Melbourne for example, it has the biggest greek population outside of Greece!

It's not all kangaroos, crocodile hunters & convicts ;)

Vegemite is GREAT on toast, might have some now. :)

I tried vegemite once and nearly gagged. Aside from that, Aussies seem to be nice enough people.

Cool people, crappy food? Sounds like the Germans =P

Vegemite has nothing on Marmite!

German food is AWESOME!

I heard Dingo's ravagely attack anything that strays from its home.

Got to love those cruddy Documentaries on TV these days.

myths about Australian people...

They're good at cricket ?

Australians are fine swimmers.

if by convict you mean irish....

Spiders as big as dinner plates! Eeks!

How could I forget... RUGBY!!!

LOL G!!!!!

Bad light.... ;)

Koala is one the protected animals in Australia.

Erm iv recently heard alot of
"Oh Nice One Shane Great Bowling" =P
I think that counts and plus the aborigines came from Aus didn't they ?

As a Brit who emigrated to Sydney five years ago, and who now has two little Australian children, I have to agree with the locals when they refer it as God's own country. And being a Pom today is a good thing, cricket wise!

Bowden & Koertzen should go out there with Night Vision Goggles, since they can't see the LIGHT! LIGHT! LIGHT!

Do you have snake everywhere? because i know that Australia have the biggest population of snake on earth.
BTW i love Crocodile hunter Steve Irwin's program.

It is politically incorrect to call "Kooris", Aborigines. Aborigine can mean any original human inhabitant of any country. Or something like that.

The word Kangaroo in the native language means "I can not understand you"

Apparently you all drive 'utes'???

I drive a Ford myself

If I'm not mistaken, utes is short for utility. It's a utility car.

And j/k is short for joke ;p

Did you know that some butcher shops in Australia sell Kanagaroo meat?

yes, bit strange, but we do eat our national symbols :/, as not only is kangaroo a popular dish, emu is found on some menus also.
Kangaroo is popular in a lot of dog food also, and supposedly a healthy option, due to its low fat content.
I'm not too keen on the emu tho, but kangaroo is delicious.

...and crocodile meat is nice too.

I've heard that Australia lost the ashes? Is that correct?

Australia is a lovely country; just a shame that there are so many australians living there... wouldn't mind being at Bondi Beach in summer tho!

Truths of Australia:
They suck at Rugby
They suck at Soccer
They suck at Cricket --> beaten by Bangladesh of all teams
Descended from English Convicts
Abused the natives of the country
They excel in sports that no other countries play (League; AFL)
The PM is a puppet for George What-did-i-say-wrong-this-time Bush

Very large 'mates'! (Six-foot-four and full of muscle!)

Gaza, were you talking about Australia or America ?

Maybe he is talking about Canada instead?

John Howard is a funny little man. Love it when people impersonate him sucking up to Bush