Worst film you've seen recently? (in Off-topic)

QBJohnnywas July 31 2006 8:38 AM EDT

Ok a couple of entries in the Superpowers thread made me wonder this:

What's the worst film you've seen recently?

Recently Million Dollar Baby made me want to dig my own eyes out with a rusty spoon. It was like one of those made for tv movies where the ordinary housewife gets an incurable disease and everyone cries and really cheesy sad music swells up at every opportunity. I thought it was really bad, which considering the casting and direction was quite an achievement.

bartjan July 31 2006 8:52 AM EDT

Battlefield Earth. Has been a while ago, but still am scarred.

Shake Some Action July 31 2006 8:55 AM EDT

Crash was really, really bad. It was an annoyingly manipulative flick where everyone in the movie was a racist with a heart of gold... except for the Middle Eastern guy, he was so evil he tryed to shoot a little girl.

JaggedFel311 July 31 2006 8:59 AM EDT

Date Movie was horrendous... "Written by two of the six writers of Scary Movie"... clearly the other 4 were the funny ones.

Rubberduck[T] [Hell Blenders] July 31 2006 9:02 AM EDT

The new Superman

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] July 31 2006 9:05 AM EDT

Nah, it wasn't that bad BL. Just like a chessy 80's flick.

But no where near as bad as;

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
King Kong (new one)
House sitter


Mem July 31 2006 9:12 AM EDT

Clearly all your ideas behind a film being good are based upon the story. That is not all a film is though. I thought both Million Dollar Baby and Crash were brilliant. I'll give in to the fact that the story behind Superman Returns was garbage, but it was quite visually stunning and the acting was superb (even Brandon Routh).

As far as films I've seen recently that were garbage through and through-- Johnny Mnemonic. I don't know why I would ever want to view that film a second time, but I did about a month ago. Mistake!

If I had seen Shrek 2 then I'd say that too, but I haven't.

Aside from that every movie put out recently that I've seen (including My Super Ex-Girlfriend) has had at least several aspects that were well made, making them not wholly garbage, and therefore something that I can enjoy.

P.S. I wouldn't even include Plan 9 From Outer Space on this list because it's just too bad. I learned a lot from it though.

Brakke Bres [Ow man] July 31 2006 9:17 AM EDT

Very bloody, very horrible.
It was so bad, it was good :)

QBJohnnywas July 31 2006 9:23 AM EDT

Personally I thought Million Dollar Baby had poor writing, pedestrian direction and some very good actors sleepwalking through their roles. The characters' motivations were cliched. There were some good moments during the film but otherwise it was a manipulative little film, that signposted everything it was leading to well in advance.

As you can see I really do want my money back for that one.....:/

Mem July 31 2006 9:23 AM EDT

Tarantino was merely the executive producer on Hostel. Eli Roth was the director and writer though. Blame him.

QBRanger July 31 2006 9:27 AM EDT

Big Mama's House 2.

No violence, no nudity, no plot, no funny jokes.

Can I say any more?

chappy [Soup Ream] July 31 2006 9:43 AM EDT

I'd love to know who twists your arms into watching these movies ... I believe the only one mention I even thought about watching was hostel. Ranger - why?? Didn't you get the subliminal message in the previews that were calling to you?? They said 'Don't watch me. I'm no good' lol I've not watched a movie in a while that I didn't like, but all I've seen recently is ...

CARS (very good movie)


Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (Another good flick if you're a fan of the series)

QBRanger July 31 2006 9:49 AM EDT


When your married and the wife wants to see a movie, sometimes it is best just to say "Yes dear" and waste 2 hours of your life making her happy.

TrueDevil [AAA] July 31 2006 9:50 AM EDT

Big momma's house 2 is surely crap. I couldn't really remember what's the worst movie that I watched in dvd but I know that the worst movie that I watched in Cinema this year would be MI 3 ( I know that I don't watch much movies in Cinema, but I did saw Pirates of the carribean 2, Superman, V for Vendetta and bunch of other stuff ) , I'm not sure why maybe I wasn't in the mood when watching that or something but somehow I think MI 3 was really lame, except for nice scenes with the lamborghini and such.

UltraViolet was quite bad too (luckily I didn't watch in Cinema), The benchwarmers and Date Movie wasn't really funny.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] July 31 2006 10:10 AM EDT

Worst movie ever == that one with the old biddies and that one biddies daughter...you know the one where they used to be groupies, and now they are just old and scary...someone (a female no doubt) insisted I see this movie, in the theater, I want my 2 hours and the 95% of my soul this movie swallowed back.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] July 31 2006 10:16 AM EDT

"When your married and the wife wants to see a movie, sometimes it is best just to say "Yes dear" and waste 2 hours of your life making her happy."

QFE... How true this is. But they just won't compromise by going to see a bloody action flick with you...

Heh, I saw 'The Breakup' with claire recently, and actually liked it. I liked the ending, but won't say any more for those that are going to see it. :)

QBJohnnywas July 31 2006 10:16 AM EDT

That's quite possibly the best synopsis of a film I've ever read. I must get round to seeing that one Nov...now what is called?

Actually I have seen that one - I think - was it The Banger Sisters with Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarendon? If so, that was pretty bad.....

Oh God, I also really really hated The Hulk movie....Jennifer Connolly was watchable, but that's not really got a lot to do with her acting. But the fight sequence with the mutated dogs just summed that film up for me...one of them was a mutant pink poodle...somebody was having a laugh there.....

Green Butchers July 31 2006 10:24 AM EDT

The New World

I should have know because everyone was praising the scenery.

Darkwalker [Jago] July 31 2006 10:26 AM EDT

i agree with the above...
The Hulk... = fight scene with the mutated dogs
King Kong... = King Kong vs the Raptors
V for Vendetta = crap
Ultraviolet = Milla Jov... cool chick but lousy movie
Domino = nude scene by Keira Knightley
..... ultimate crap movie... a toss up between the dare devil and jennifer .... (alias girl) the ninja girl movie... i cant remember the name....
actually i suddenly remember another one of THE ultimate crap movie..... Street Fighters.... remember that one!?

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] July 31 2006 10:33 AM EDT

The worst movie ever is actually streettrash, no you don't want to see it. Yes I have seen Plan 9, and while there is no comparison to plan 9 for production values, or acting. The story itself is at least as spazmatic as Ed Wood's masterpiece.

Eurynome Bartleby [Bartleby's] July 31 2006 10:41 AM EDT

I recently rewatched Bulletproof Monk. Bad scripting, poor visual effects, very weak story, it looks like everything that could go wrong with this movie...did go wrong.

Even the actors look like they wonder what they're doing there. (though i must say their efforts to liven up their bad lines is commendable.)

To make a long story short, as movie criticism isn't my forte at all, this is one of those movies that should have only be released on VHS and Dvd. I hated it.

A 52 mil$ D movie. Avoid at all costs.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] July 31 2006 10:48 AM EDT

AHHH!!!!! Elektra!!

Poor poor movie... She throws a blunt BLUNT sai through rows and rows of hedges.. >_
But, at least there was some eye candy...

We tried to watch king kong. Laughed when they ran away from dinosaurs, rolled around crying when they shot insects off some one with a full automatic tommy gun. And enjoyed the T-Rex fight. Bu that was after a couple of hours of poor boring tripe. We then wanted to see the end, and had to skip at least anothe hour of nothing to get to it.

Waste of film was that re make... Plus it had Jack Black. I have an irrational hatred of that man...

QBJohnnywas July 31 2006 10:58 AM EDT

I understand the financial reasons but I simply cannot see any other reason to remake movies. Money obviously talks, but what else can be gained creatively from remaking an older movie? I've yet to see a remake that improves on a definitive version.

It's a different matter when a film remakes an earlier film but becomes a 'new' film - like The Magnificent Seven for instance; but these straight remakes wind me up.

And another thing I'm not sure I understand is Keira Knightley....

AdminG Beee July 31 2006 11:09 AM EDT

No-one has went to the movies to see anything worse than Waterworld.

nuff said, end of story...

JaggedFel311 July 31 2006 11:38 AM EDT

Forgot about this one, but I think Cabin Boy crushes Water world in terms of crappiness. Cabin Boy did have David Letterman (Wanna buy a monkey?) but still... just my opinion, but Cabin Boy has gotta be the worst ever.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] July 31 2006 11:40 AM EDT

Cabin boy == godlike

QBBarzooMonkey July 31 2006 11:43 AM EDT

I have 2 categories of movie that I won't bother with at all any more, as there has yet to be a non-awful one made:

Any movie based on a 1970's American TV series (Charlie's Angels, Dukes of Hazard, Starsky & Hutch, etc.). The sad thing is that this is "all the rage" in Hollywood the past few years.

Any movie based on a Saturday Night Live skit character(s).

In the "so bad, it's actually quite brilliant" category, I include "Dusk Till Dawn", as well as Robert Rodriguez's "El Mariachi" series, Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill" series, and anything by John Carpenter ("Big Trouble In Little China" and "They Live" are two of my all-time favorite movies...)

QBJohnnywas July 31 2006 11:48 AM EDT

Now Big Trouble In Little China - that's a cool movie. Kurt Russell doing a bad John Wayne impression (after his bad Clint Eastwood impression in Escape From New York), lots of mad characters and dialogue that sounded like bad dubbing even when it wasn't. And Kim Cattrall with green eyes. What more do you want? Maybe a pair of those glasses from 'They Live'?

Darkwalker [Jago] July 31 2006 12:25 PM EDT

From dusk till dawn was an awesome movie... actually quntine tarantino and roberto rodgrigues are cool directors except when they try to over do it... Kill Bill series is just plain ol-bloody-good fun! Reservoir dogs was good as well... but not all of them of good... i saw a sequel to from dusk till dawn part 2... crap doesnt begin to describe it...

Maelstrom July 31 2006 12:28 PM EDT

I'm not much of a movie critic, but I try to avoid films that I know are bad. That said, I did enjoy the new King Kong movie - but only for the special effects. You have to admit they were impressive.

I watched the new one a few weeks ago, and a week later I watched the original King Kong: trust me, there was a HUGE improvement in special effects - the effects in the original were laughable. However, I have to say that the plot, especially on the island, made a bit more sense in the original.

The acting is mostly better in the new one. Fay Wray's standing still and screaming, rather than running away, really annoyed me...

Darkwalker [Jago] July 31 2006 12:31 PM EDT

ok if you want to compare the special effects then you should watch the original 3 Star Wars episodes and compare them to the latest 3 episodes... the progress in special effects is tremendous!!

Maelstrom July 31 2006 12:42 PM EDT

Ha! Yeah, the new Star Wars have pretty effects, but they just don't have the attraction that the old ones do... The new movies, however, are not remakes of the old ones. There is a faint possibility that if they remade the old Star Wars movies, the result could look better, but it just wouldn't go over as well.

I'm the last person to watch a movie simply for effects - I mainly pay attention to plot, acting, music, and overall "feel" of a movie. A Clockwork Orange is still one of my favourite movies, and it looks pretty dated, but the acting, atmosphere and music are amazing!

bartjan July 31 2006 12:49 PM EDT

El Mariachi is brilliant, like many other Rodriguez/Tarantino movies. Don't watch it like it's a $35 million movie, watch it like it's a $3,500 movie (the actual budget)... The director's cut, where he describes all the corners he has cut to stay within budget is also worth it.

Darkwalker [Jago] July 31 2006 12:56 PM EDT

Which El Mariachi? The Antonio Banderas one or the Spanish/Mexican speaking one? The latter was a bid crappy but if you compare budgets.... i agree it was better than expected...

bartjan July 31 2006 1:11 PM EDT

There's only 1 movie titled "El Mariachi"...
Maybe you're confused with "Desperado"?

Mem July 31 2006 2:31 PM EDT

El Mariachi actually had a budget of $8,000, of which Mr. Rodriguez spent many months in a lab having all kinds of medical testing done on him to obtain. He also wrote the script in between tests. Brilliant man. And on every one of his DVDs he even has a 10 minute "film school" that he does. It's his way of giving back.

As far as remakes of films go, Little Shop of Horrors is the only film I can recall that was actually better than the first one.

And as far as Million Dollar Baby goes, you are aware that it was based on a book (well, more a collection of short stories, but that's still a book), right, Johnny? If you didn't like the message that the book, and then, the movie portrayed that doesn't mean it was a bad movie. I will give you the fact that in parts of it Mr. Eastwood got a little lost in acting his role and did not provide the proper amount of directing. It's not a perfect movie, no. But show me one that is. By the way, I felt the score, which was also provided by Clint, was just brilliantly matched to the somber tone of that film. Art direction was brilliant. Cinematography was solid, and provided that grey tone that was appropriate to the story. It was far and above any TV movie I've ever seen... not counting HBO Originals...

My point here is that not liking a movie and a movie being bad are two different things. Don't just tell me a film is crap. There was so much hard work put into all these films that have been mentioned and to say that the work of thousands of people was crap is insulting. Someone in there had to do something that met your expectations. I'm sure the people in craft services made some darn good food for the cast and crew one of those days they were filming. I'm sure a grip rigged an awesome lighting configuration for the DP only to have him told they were shooting that scene anymore. I'm sure that the best boy electrician didn't even have to tell the producers once that the scene being shot wasn't safe and that it should be shut down in at least one of those movies. These people sweat over this stuff, and you say that the art of the few people overseeing all this is crap. Which you are totally entitled to, but it doesn't make you any less of a jerk in my eyes. I'm not saying that you can't dislike a movie, but there's a fine line between saying you don't like it and calling it crap.

Vaynard [Fees Dirt Cheap] July 31 2006 2:34 PM EDT

Worst movie I've seen recently? It looks like most of those listed weren't too recent, but I'll list a new one. Nacho Libre. I saw it with my girlfriend, and was very disappointed. I had high hopes, and Jack Black can be very funny, but not in this one. I never laughed, and was lucky those few times it barely amused. The plot is nonexistant, things don't make sense, and the overwhelming theme of the plot is, "If we make it stupid enough, it has to be funny!" But it wasn't.

QBJohnnywas July 31 2006 2:43 PM EDT

Hard work doesn't equal quality. What I find insulting is some of the trash that gets sold in the name of cinema, music, television, books, the arts in general. Meanwhile many many creative talents don't get seen, heard, read because they don't fit a consumer profile. That is insulting.

Mem July 31 2006 2:59 PM EDT

I will agree with you there, Johnny.

AdminG Beee July 31 2006 3:32 PM EDT

Nope, the word "crap" is subjective taken in context of the question "What's the worst film you've seen...". Director

Agreed it wasn't recent, but Waterworld was definitely "crap".
In fact I think if I were to look up the word "crap" in a dictionary the definition may itself make reference to that terribly bad movie.

Frod July 31 2006 3:36 PM EDT

I understand the financial reasons but I simply cannot see any other reason to remake movies. Money obviously talks, but what else can be gained creatively from remaking an older movie? I've yet to see a remake that improves on a definitive version.

Ocean's Eleven. Without a shred of a doubt.

Adminedyit [Superheros] July 31 2006 4:09 PM EDT

Worst movie I've ever seen would have to be She's All That. Why sit through it? Well Ranger already answered that.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] July 31 2006 4:43 PM EDT

"Ocean's Eleven. Without a shred of a doubt."

Claire would oppose that. ;) A big lover of the original she is.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] July 31 2006 4:44 PM EDT

Actually, when she spied my posting this, and I had to explain what is was about, her exact answer was;


Maelstrom July 31 2006 5:38 PM EDT

I just saw the original Ocean's Eleven last night, and I quite enjoyed it.

Mind you, I haven't seen the new one. I'll get around to seeing it sometime. I've got it at home, I think...

RAMPAGE July 31 2006 5:39 PM EDT

Worse movie ever (IMHO) is Blair Witch.
Not only did me and my wife want our $4 ea back(Thank God we saw it in the matinee) we also wanted our 90 minutes back.

{CB1}Lukeyman July 31 2006 8:13 PM EDT

The Cave

Complete garbage, looked like it cost 1$ to make the "creatures"

{Quitter}Gah August 1 2006 2:15 AM EDT

Don't see Ocean's Twelves, just be happy that Ocean's Eleven was good

{Quitter}Gah August 1 2006 2:30 AM EDT

oops typo... should be "Ocean's Twelve"

Mikel August 1 2006 2:50 AM EDT

I think Open Water was a real sleeper.... I couldn't stay interested in it, fell asleep several times during that one.

{Quitter}Gah August 1 2006 3:05 AM EDT

And yeah I did mean the remake was good...

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] August 1 2006 4:27 AM EDT

Mikel, I didn't even bother watching Open Water. No matter how you market it, I just couldn't see the attraction of watching two people bobbing in the sea for an hour and a half...


bartjan August 1 2006 6:16 AM EDT


QBJohnnywas August 1 2006 6:58 AM EDT


This list reminded me of plenty of bad films. Although one man's bad film is another's classic must see again and again.....

Ambidex August 1 2006 7:10 AM EDT

Worst film I've seen has to be the new 'Taxi', which although the two original french ones weren't great, at least they had some comedy value akin to the Pink Panther (The original not the heinous Steve Matin remake).
The new one just reeks of the Fast and the Furious and looks like a cheap copy, Queen Latifah just winds me up. Shes so cool.

Stephen Young August 1 2006 7:42 AM EDT

Worst movies... hhmmmmm.... I rented "National Lampoon Presents Dorm Daze" about a year ago, expecting to re-live the hilarity of such greats as: "Animal House," "Van Wilder," "Vacation," and "Christmas Vacation."

Instead I vomited in my mouth.

Absolutely NOTHING in this move was worth watching it for. Cliche plotlines, HORRIBLE acting and dialogue delivery, cheesy and poorly implemented special effects, painful cinematography... I could go on, and on, and on... And, unfortunately, so did the movie... It was 96 minutes of "wait, it isn't over yet?!?!? Ahhhhh crap."

Mem August 1 2006 8:18 AM EDT

If you really want to see something terrible go check out anything that Troma has put out...

QBJohnnywas August 1 2006 9:01 AM EDT

Things I hate in movies:

This is all about London, where I'm from.

I hate seeing London in movies. I can't remember the last time we had a thick fog in London. Nor when I last saw a police constable on a bike. Or heard one blow a whistle because they had discovered a dead body in some foggy alleyway, off a cobbled street.

And for the most part London is populated by people who aren't from London, or even Britain. People from all over the world live here, every colour, creed and nationality. You don't see that side of London usually. Just pubs and cups of tea. (If you want to see a film about London that looks like the London I know watch 'Dirty Pretty Things', an excellent movie).

And you cannot get from Big Ben to Tower Bridge in two minutes. More like twenty if you get the right traffic. I hate it when film makers twist geography to suit their story.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] August 1 2006 9:04 AM EDT

" Nor when I last saw a police constable on a bike."

LOL! They're all over tower hamlets. ;) I don't think they can afford cars...

QBJohnnywas August 1 2006 9:06 AM EDT

Ah yes, that's Tower Hamlets' new drive to get the old 'friendly bobby' back on the beat.

Doesn't really work when they're wearing Kevlar vests though.....

QBPit Spawn [Abyssal Specters] August 1 2006 11:26 AM EDT

i would have to say the worst movie ive seen was The Yellow Wallpaper. we watched it in one of my history classes.

quicksilver [/me Forge Stuff :D] August 2 2006 2:54 AM EDT

The worst movie I know of is one I own on DVD - it's a terrible kung-fu flick from Taiwan, I think originally from 1970 or so. The case I have calls it "Swordsman with an Umbrella" - which I think is a rough translation of the original name.

It features:
- Subtitles <b>and</b> dubbing
- Subtitles that don't match the dubbing (as in, not even close!)
- Subtitles that are wider than the screen, so they are cut off
- Subtitles that are white against a white background
- Dubbing with what appears to be a British accent (this is particularly disconcerting to American viewers)
- Lots and lots and lots of walking through wooded areas. I mean like 50% of the movie is the characters walking through the woods.
- The main character is out to get revenge for his kung-fu master. Who killed him, you might ask? In the words of the subtitles - "He suicided himself." That's right, he's out to take revenge for a suicide!

Blair Witch - this movie triggered a reaction that I have not had to any other - I had a very strong urge to reach out and slap the characters around for being so stupid. I'm pretty sure that isn't the reaction they were hoping for.

quicksilver [/me Forge Stuff :D] August 2 2006 2:59 AM EDT

Oh, and it's not anything I've seen recently, but Lawnmower Man 2 was positively awful. Really. - A psycho computer program has the power to blow fire hydrants off the street into the air. Because, fire hydrants would totally be hooked up to the internet. And having them blow off their mounts is a useful feature to have. And that's ooh-so-scary, too - oh no, water!
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