Scientific Facts.. (in Off-topic)
September 5 2006 2:36 PM EDT
I was requested by Godwolf to make a thread about Chuck Norris, so blame him. ;P These are some Chuck Norris Facts...
- When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
- Before the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity.... twice.
- Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris does not cry.
- Chuck knows how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
- Chuck Norris does not use protection, because there is no protection from Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is not scary. You won't be alive long enough to be scared.
- When Chuck Norris trains on his Bowflex, the machine gets stronger.
- The world does revolve around Chuck Norris.
- Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
- The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
September 5 2006 2:59 PM EDT
My favorite is:
You can lead Chuck Norris to water, but you'll probably die there.
September 5 2006 3:05 PM EDT
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
September 5 2006 3:06 PM EDT
Nah, the best one out there is:
Chuck Norris -can- touch MC Hammer.
September 5 2006 3:08 PM EDT
Who's Chuck Norris? :D
September 5 2006 3:15 PM EDT
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalkers real father.
September 5 2006 3:19 PM EDT
September 5 2006 3:19 PM EDT
Sorry for the double post, but I forgot to add...
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
- Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
- If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
- It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
- There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
September 5 2006 3:24 PM EDT
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
- There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
- Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a watch. He doesn't tell the time, he sets it!
September 5 2006 6:25 PM EDT
The battles we fight on CB are roughly based on the fights Chuck Norris had when he was 7.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. Chuck Norris pushes the earth down.
September 5 2006 7:53 PM EDT
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris's leg. It died 5 days later in terrible agony.
September 5 2006 8:02 PM EDT
Chuck Norris once kicked Carnage Blender so hard, it was knocked six months back in time and started recycling topics that had been done to death back then. :)
September 5 2006 8:17 PM EDT
Helen Keller 's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
September 5 2006 9:45 PM EDT
Achilles is known as the greatest warrior of all time, but he was killed by his weaknes,the Achilles tendon....there is no Chuck Norris tendon!
Jon didn't end CB1. Chuck Norris hit the CB1 server with a roundhouse kick!
September 6 2006 5:05 AM EDT
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
September 6 2006 5:41 AM EDT
Chuck Norris, should do the world a favour and kill himself
Others from the Download festival Big Screen!
Some have been edited so that I don't get fined and some just couldn't possibly be edited to make them PG so they stayed where they were :P.
"' IF IT LOOKS LIKE CHICKEN, SMELLS LIKE CHICKEN, TASTES LIKE CHICKEN AND CHUCK NORRIS SAYS ITS BEEF THEN [SNK3R Edit: Non-PG] ITS BEEF!"
Crop circles are chuck norris' way of telling corn it should lie down
"Global warming doesn't exist, chuck norris was cold so he turned the sun up"
"If you can see chuck norris he can see you, if you cant see chuck norris you are only moments away from death."
the reason light goes so fast is because it is running away from chuck norris
chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad
a man once asked chuck norris if his real name is charles. Chuck norris did not respond he simply stared at him until he exploded.
"You Create The Sandwich Chuck Norris Makes It!
"The titanic didnt hit an iceberg it was chuck norris practicing his underwater roundhouse kicks"
"chuck norris does not sleep he waits."
chuck norris once shot down a fighter plane by pointing at it and shouting BANG!
chuck norris is not a racist hes happy to kick anyones butt!
chuck norris once drank a pint of absynth through his [SNK3R Edit: Non-PG]. How you may ask? Through the power of osmosis.
"+ the story of creation day one chuck norris made god.
+ the universe wasn't created by the big bang..... Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the atoms into play
Chuck Norris can do 3 times what Jack Bauer can in 24 hours.He calls it a slow day
NASA's new budget idea... Sod the big rockets just give Chuck Norris a big catapult
"Chuck Norris doesnt read books he just stares them down until they tell him what he wants to know!"
chuck norris's cowboy boots r made from real cowboy.
when chuck norris goes for a jog the world is his treadmill
Chuck Norris does not perspire. His pores are too strong for the sweat to get through.
Chuck Norris hates teh n00bs!!!!111
"Chuck norris is not [SNK3R Edit: Non-PG] a horse is [SNK3R Edit: Non-PG] like Chuck Norris!
"chuck norris wasn't born he round-house kicked his way out of his mothers womb.
"Chuck norris sold his soul to the devil for his looks and martial arts after he got them he roundhouse kicked the devil and took it back!
"+ THE ULTIMATE A-TEAM CHUCK NORRIS JACK BAUER & MACGUYVER TOGETHER THEY COULD MAKE PIGS FLY"
It took 3 women 5 days to give birth to Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris cant die because Death is scared of him.
http://www.brucefacts.com/more.php?id=42 ......You guys been stealing from this web site..)
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