If you could fight any historical person.. (in Off-topic)

MissingNo April 24 2007 3:26 PM EDT

I'm in love with the movie Fight Club and I thought it might be interesting to know who you could fight if you could pick any historical person, dead or alive, and why?

Me? I'd fight John Paul II because it'd be funny to see someone so holy throw down. Or maybe John Lennon because he wrote the beautiful song "Imagine" then basically insulted everyone who liked the song by saying it's really a song that promotes anti-nationalism, anti-religion, and anti-capitalism, and that we can't see it as such because it's a sugar-coated song. Way to ruin your own art. And plus both of them probably wouldn't fight me back, which makes me a wuss, but also makes me a wuss that would have beaten up the Pope and John Lennon.

Slashundhack [We Forge Our Own Stuff] April 24 2007 3:39 PM EDT

Well actually fighting sounds like too much work so it would be Buddha and we would probably of kicked each others butts in former life times !

QBOddBird April 24 2007 3:42 PM EDT

Whatever jerk that invented the taser. Jerk. *goes looking for some Aloe*

QBJohnnywas April 24 2007 3:46 PM EDT

The funniest thing about John Lennon was that he actually liked a fight, in fact was pretty handy with his fists.

Me, I'd rather go back in time and teach myself to fight dirtier than I did when I was a kid.

Failing that, a bit of a wrestle with Jennifer Connelly. Mud optional. That would be a good fight.

MissingNo April 24 2007 3:48 PM EDT

Slash, I LOVE your picture. XD And Buddha could probably just eat the hits with his body fat until you tired yourself out and collapsed.

And I'd definitely fight Donald Trump's current wife, cause you know she's a gold digger.

[me]Davis April 24 2007 6:47 PM EDT

i would go duke it out with Gandhi, i don't know why, but thats my pick

AdminG Beee April 24 2007 7:24 PM EDT

I'd want to go toe to toe with the original Luke Skywalker, lightsabers included. I don't care what the movie tried to portray, there's no way he'd beat me in RL as I'm sure he's a wuss...

Now, his dad on the other hand is a completely different matter and I'd fight Chuck Norris before I'd go up against the man in the mask...

GO PATS April 24 2007 7:30 PM EDT

I think I would have to pick Jackson Pollock, just because I'd like to meet him... also, he's crazy, and mainly very drunk, so that would make for a tough battle... Then we'd go get drunk together and I'd steal one of his paintings... somehow... with a UHaul or two probably... they are big.

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] April 24 2007 8:29 PM EDT

Jim Morrison


Well anyone as high as he was all his life shouldn't be too difficult to outsmart(as much as he was a musical genius) and knock out :P

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] April 24 2007 8:38 PM EDT

John Calvin "father" of Calvinism and Calvinist thought.
"In this view, all people are entirely at the mercy of God, who would be just in
condemning all people for their sins but who has chosen to be merciful to some.
One person is saved while another is condemned, not because of a willingness, a 
faith, or any other virtue in the first person, but because God sovereignly chose to
have mercy on him"
The ideas that he started have turned into the modern xian ideas that irk me so much...

MissingNo April 24 2007 8:44 PM EDT

Why, Novice? That type of thinking seems to be very rational as far as faith goes. But then again, I guess rationality defeats the purpose of faith.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] April 24 2007 8:59 PM EDT

It has less to do with what he thought that what his ideas led to. The idea that any deity would chose one person to succeed and prosper while damning another to a life of extreme suffering for completely arbitrary reasons is ugly, and gives way to people thinking that people without success or good fortune were made that way by god. People who thank god for winning a game, or an award, or believe that he's rewarded them with monetary wealth out of some sort of twisted random mercy.
It's a half step from there to the not so old idea that black people were black because of some sin committed by an ancestor. I've certainly attributed more of the stupid ideas floating around today to him than is really fair, but the line of thinking he helped formalize has a lot to do with the folks who think that they have what they have because god loves them, and the people who don't have the same things are lesser or evil.

MissingNo April 24 2007 9:14 PM EDT

People will think like that regardless if Calvin never existed. We see it all the time. When someone wins an award what do they do? They thank God as if God favored them over other people. I think (I say think, even though I'm pretty sure, because I can't prove it) that the most people only pray when they want something, whether it be a material object, someone to heal, forgiveness, etc. I'm an atheist so I might not be the most knowledgeable when it comes to the topic of religion, but favoritism seems to be the only solution that make sense. I mean, why else would some good and moral people suffer while a person who might be cruel and evil might live an easy and successful life? Why are some people born with everything they could ever want and others starve to death before they are even old enough to fathom morality? Those are just my thoughts, I'm not trying to attack you or your beliefs or anything.

Relic April 24 2007 9:30 PM EDT

I think I would like to beat Adolf Hitler senseless.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] April 24 2007 9:48 PM EDT

bah too easy Glory, though I almost picked him just so I could bring up little nicky...

While you may be right about people assuming god just likes them better Op, I do think the idea that god plays einey miney moe with regards to what lives we lead has it's roots in Calvinism.

RedWolf April 24 2007 9:56 PM EDT


MissingNo April 24 2007 10:21 PM EDT

I'd definitely add Carlos Mencia to the list. Never before have I seen such an unfunny bigot get so much credit for being an open-minded comedian.

Admin{CB1}Slayer333 [SHIELD] April 24 2007 10:24 PM EDT

/me high fives the tasty frozen treat for the Carlos Mencia beat down.

Phrede April 24 2007 10:26 PM EDT

I'd like to fight with Mother Teresa or Lady Di.
If they wernt available then Bambi would have to be my choice.

A Lesser AR of 15 [Red Permanent Assurance] April 24 2007 11:22 PM EDT

The fat Star Wars kid twice over and recorded in HD.

MissingNo April 24 2007 11:51 PM EDT

What fat Star Wars kid?

Nerevas April 25 2007 12:34 AM EDT

I'd fight Jesus. Only we'd battle it out via paper/rock/scissors and staring contests. Best 3 out of 5.. I think I can take him.

Karmic Mishap [Soup Ream] April 25 2007 12:49 AM EDT

Ronald Reagan. I hate how everyone pretends he was a great president while copying his terrible ideas. That and the fact that he was an actor/president. Talk about two jobs that just shouldn't go together.

A Lesser AR of 15 [Red Permanent Assurance] April 25 2007 1:12 AM EDT

Ever seen the video of the fat kid flailing around with a two headed light saber? Google it. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll watch it so many times he'll die.

smallpau1 - Go Blues [Lower My Fees] April 25 2007 2:10 AM EDT

Achilles, =P

smallpau1 - Go Blues [Lower My Fees] April 25 2007 2:10 AM EDT

i know his weak spot, lol

Lochnivar April 25 2007 5:57 AM EDT

I would fight ME!

Obviously I couldn't beat me but the close battle would instill some much needed humility and thus my coworkers would stop describing me with 4 letter words.

Oh and this would finally determine whether or not aging is making me smarter or dumber!

MissingNo April 25 2007 7:15 AM EDT

Shakespeare - for ruining what little fun I used to have at school.

Xenko April 25 2007 8:07 AM EDT


He would bow before my mediocrity!!!!

BootyGod April 25 2007 5:01 PM EDT

Bruce Lee.

There are worse ways to die...

QBJohnnywas April 25 2007 5:19 PM EDT

And that takes me right back to Jennifer Connelly.

Sorry, it is Spring.

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] April 25 2007 5:43 PM EDT

Cherie Blair

That's definitely one smile you'd like to wipe off someone's face :P

th00p April 25 2007 8:02 PM EDT

Love is in the air as the rare JW-bird tries desperately to find a mate =P

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] April 25 2007 9:24 PM EDT

Unfortunately he got stuck with Bill Oddie ;P

MissingNo April 25 2007 9:44 PM EDT

I could take Ryan Seacrest.

Phrede April 25 2007 11:02 PM EDT

I wonder how many members got the Bill Oddie joke Zoglog - I did :)

QBOddBird April 25 2007 11:20 PM EDT

He's not a historical man, but I would really love to beat the crap out of my boss right now. ^_^

Klinik April 27 2007 2:38 PM EDT

Stephen Hawking.

QBRanger April 27 2007 2:43 PM EDT

Thats right,

Let us beat up a guy with ALS confined to a wheelchair.

Tyriel [123456789] April 27 2007 2:47 PM EDT

"Let us beat up a guy with ALS confined to a wheelchair."

Let us beat up a *really smart guy* with ALS confined to a wheelchair. :D

I don't know who I'd fight. I'm so horridly weak, even some five-year-old from the Renaissance times could probably beat me. I'd probably pick somebody like Genghis Khan, just to see what somebody like that was like. :D Maybe some famous ancient Egyptian that nobody knows about who found out something really important. Or Galileo. *shrug*

MissingNo April 27 2007 9:45 PM EDT

Well, if you're fighting someone in a wheel chair, you probably won't lose.

Slashundhack [We Forge Our Own Stuff] April 28 2007 3:57 AM EDT

I propose that I hijack this thread and change it to ...If you could PIE any historical person.. now who ??

Karmic Mishap [Soup Ream] April 29 2007 12:15 AM EDT

That makes the 'Hitler' response less lame. It would have made a perfect ending to one of those speech/rants he used to give!

Eurynome Bartleby [Bartleby's] April 29 2007 12:29 AM EDT

I feel history is a pretty darn beautiful thing. Even bad history. I see any major change in history as a pretty change. Wow, to be able, as lowly humans, to change to course of a powerfull thing as history! Simply astonishing. Time melded by the aspirations
of us, imperfect beings....

So, If I had to fight anyone responsible for a major change, I'd fight the first person who had the idea of creating an idea which would modify the lives of milions of people, and modify their very way of living, the person who invented religion!

I would probably not, once I did beat him (or her, IF i did) change the invention that is religion. No, it is needed as a way for humanity to evolve, be it in a good or bad way. I'd just be curious to see if I could beat the guy of gal, to see If I could have that big an impact on mankind.

MissingNo April 29 2007 10:42 AM EDT

Ashilizator, you're taking it a little too literally, no? I'm asking who you'd like to fight if you could fight anyone for fun. I'm not talking about the historical and societal ramifications and consequences resulting from fighting said person . And I don't think one single person invented the concept of religion. :\

Slashundhack [We Forge Our Own Stuff] April 29 2007 8:09 PM EDT

Ya religion is a common delusion brought on by a need to control the uncontrollable .

muon [The Winds Of Fate] April 30 2007 6:49 AM EDT

"Reality is the original Rorschach" - Discordianism.

But, to answer the question... Joan of Arc.

Eurynome Bartleby [Bartleby's] April 30 2007 6:51 AM EDT

Bah, there must be ONE person who thought of it first...anyway, it was more of a figure of speech. Maybe I would have to fight lots of people.

QBOddBird May 23 2007 1:39 PM EDT

In SNK4R's defense, lowly man that he is, I would fight the tag man.

Yes, he who decided to put tags into the backs of shirts, there to itch, scratch, and annoy...I would fight him.

MissingNo May 23 2007 5:39 PM EDT

Do you cut off your shirt tags? XD I do.
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