I went into a shoe store and I said, "Hey, can I get those in a 10?"

A guy said, "Sure," and he went in the back. A couple minutes later he came out and said, "I don't have a 10, but I got a 9."

"Great. Because while you were in the back, my toes were severed off. Normally it would be retarded for you to say a number different than what we agreed on, but given my very recent accident, you're right on. Congratulations, you're re-hired."

Demetri Martin -- 1776
(Probably wasn't 1742, but I once thought about that year, and it's a pivotal one. It was actually probably more like 2006.)

Well I do love Demetri Martin :P.

A relatively recent discovery for me -- I'm LOVING it.

He has a show on comedy central, but I prefer just his normal standup. Same with Daniel Tosh, his standup is some of the best I've ever seen, Tosh.0 is average at best.

Daniel Tosh, a new name for my list, maybe he's on eMusic! Yeah, I'm back on the "e"!

Ah, yes, I have heard some of his stuff on Slacker.com before, and one album is on eMusic. I know what I'm downloading next month! *smile*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRyCX00g88c

A little of his stand up, got some good ones in it.

"Timing is everything. That's a cliche- now! But if I said it a long time ago, it'd be pretty original. Think about it."

I agree Art. I really liked Daniel Tosh's standup, but Tosh.0 was quite a disappointment to me..

"7 best sentences ever."

A much better collection than on that other thread.

There is a difference between mockery and imitation.

This is the former.

Just because you disagree with my view, that is no reason to resort to the Democrats playbook of mocking, ridiculing and belittling that person.

Who's playbook now?

In all honesty, I immediately thought of Bill O'Reilly when I read that. And I'm being serious. Those are the reasons I can't stand to hear that guy.

Yeah, Bill was calling those people at the Town hall meetings Nazis. Man, he is out of touch, ohh wait. Wasn't that Nancy Pelosi? Talking about the people she represents. The people she works for and the people who pay for her Salary.

You read correctly, the Democrats.

It is well known, at least in the circles I frequent, when a Liberal is losing a discussion they start on the "your racist, your sexist, etc.." tract.

Failing that, they resort to using Nazi verbage as Pelosi so eloquently did.

The very best statements and the ones that really crack me up is when you state disagreement with Obama's policies, most liberals I see on TV and in person say your racist.

Voting against Sotomayer was "racist" was used and reused numerous times on NBC and other liberal stations/newscasts.

However people fail to see Colin Powell in the position he had. But no, he was an "Uncle Tom". Or fail to see Bob Martinez as Bush's pick for a top post as the antithesis of this.

Art, that wasn't a shot at conservatives or democrats, it was a shot at a hack reporter.

I am sorry but O'Reilly is a well known face of conservatism. And no hack reporter.

We can debate who is more of a hack reporter in another thread. But my votes go to Olbermann and Matthews. I still crack up when I hear "I have chills running down my leg".

Yeah, and my was at a hack of a Representative.... It saddens me every time I think of her leading the House. She did the equivalent of O'Reilly calling Fox a bunch of Nazis. The ironic thing is.... she'll probably keep her job, I doubt Bill would be so lucky.

"Yeah, Bill was calling those people at the Town hall meetings Nazis. Man, he is out of touch, oh wait. Wasn't that Nancy Pelosi?"

Who's the side spouting all the Nazi comparisons again?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-savage/county-commissioner-bring_b_259386.html

"""
The Jackson Citizen Patriot is reporting Jackson County Commissioner Phil Duckham attended the rally carrying "a sign with a swastika on it, and compared Obama to Hitler". They also have a photo of him doing so.

"This is how Hitler started out," Duckham said. "First, Obama took over the auto industry, then the banking industry. We don't need him to take over the health care industry."
"""

And can we please add "Pelosi" to the spell checker?

So now your comparing a Jackson County Commissioner to the Speaker of the House in their usage of the term Nazi?

Seems Jackon County is quite the political center of the universe.

And while he was using that verbage to classify Obama, Pelosi was using as the statement on the American people who disagreed with her self-righteousness. How dear you disagree with me, the Speaker of the House. Your all Nazis!

"Pelosi was using as the statement on the American people who disagreed with her self-righteousness. How dear you disagree with me, the Speaker of the House. Your all Nazis!"

missed that one, ya got a linky on it?

"So now your comparing a Jackson County Commissioner to the Speaker of the House in their usage of the term Nazi?"

No, I was pointing at many, many of the town hall protesters, of which the Jackson County Commissioner, a political official, is one example of many.

Though if you would kindly provide a link to an article that claims Pelosi called those she represents - the voters of California in her district and NOT loony right wingers in other states - Nazis, I'd be happy to read it.

Lord Bob: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGzAi4vZqYI

Ohh so, it's ok to call people in other states bad names, so if Claire McCaskill called the voters of California Nazis it would be fine. McCaskill is the representative from my state and I would find it offending, and no doubt, vote against her. This isn't even as bad as the above example because while Claire is a representative she isn't the Speaker of the House, who represents the nation, and is right behind Biden in the line of succession

"It is well known, at least in the circles I frequent, when a Liberal is losing a discussion they start on the "your racist, your sexist, etc.." tract."

It is unfortunate that the liberal counterpart to the conservatives' "you hate America! Socialist! Watch me yell louder than you!" vocal idiot does resemble what you describe. So you're correct on that point, but your side still doesn't maintain the high road.

"Failing that, they resort to using Nazi verbage as Pelosi so eloquently did."

See also: the town hall protesters Ive described. Your side has no room to point fingers here.

"Voting against Sotomayer was "racist" .."

No, many of the things said and used against her during the confirmation were. A simple vote wasn't necessarily.

"However people fail to see Colin Powell in the position he had. But no, he was an "Uncle Tom". Or fail to see Bob Martinez as Bush's pick for a top post as the antithesis of this."

We agree on both counts that this is unfortunate.

There's a scary thought... Nancy Pelosi as president.

Marlfox, as I've already demonstated, what she said in that video was factually correct.

She wasn't calling anyone a Nazi. She was calling out people on the other side for using that term and the imagery associated.

She's the right one here.

"McCaskill is the representative from my state and I would find it offending, and no doubt, vote against her."

You would vote against McCaskill anyway because she's a Democrat.

I was actually just linking to the video that Ranger referenced. Even if I have views on this subject, I won't comment for the sake of unity.
Noble me. ;)

Here's a little funny video. A cute little girl asks a question of Mr. Obama at a town hall meeting. Later we find out that the girls mother, Kathleen Manning Hall, help during the Obama campaign and was a large donor. Plant or not? I'll let you decide. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOZuvQ-3uvY

Art, what does that have to do with anything? Or are you just trying to avoid answering back to the Pelosi issue and how what she said was correct?

"You would vote against McCaskill anyway because she's a Democrat."

Oh how little you know about me. I dislike both parties. I think they both look out for number one, the only reason I would lean more Republican is because they are generally more Conservative. That, however, was hardly true during the Bush presidency. I'm quite upset with both of them, if a third party candidate actually had a decent backing I would throw him or her my full support. I hate party politics. The reason I hate the Democrats so much right now is because they are the ones in power screwing things up, not the Republicans.

"Pelosi was using as the statement on the American people who disagreed with her self-righteousness. How dear you disagree with me, the Speaker of the House. Your all Nazis!"

missed that one, ya got a linky on it?

i assume that ranger was referencing something else entirely as the video says nothing like what he "quoted".

In much funnier news that I think we can all enjoy:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/aug/14/rush-limbaugh-karl-rove-family-guy

Ok, LB, I'm not prideful enough to say what she said was factually correct to an extent. But, I am kindof disappointed in how she grouped all the people into one group. Calling the whole backing "astro-turf." It's been a common tactic on both sides in the media, pull out the crazy on both sides. Maybe it's because she's the Speaker of the House that I hold her to a higher standard.

factcheck did a nice write-up on that video by the way:

http://factcheck.org/2009/08/nazi-symbols-at-town-halls-the-real-story/

"But, I am kindof disappointed in how she grouped all the people into one group."

*sigh*

She was clearly referring to the lunatics with the Nazi propaganda.

The right could have organized an intelligent, thoughtful, discussion based grassroots movement to campaign against the left's Health Care plans.

But they chose to do what they always do: lie and rouse up the rabble. This time with fake death panels and Nazis!

so, just to clarify. they asked about if she thought there was a real grassroots movement, to which she replied, they're astroturf. i took that to mean that she doesn't think it is a real grassroots movement but an artificial one. is that how others are reading that?

LB, it really doesn't matter what the right does, the bill is going to pass if Obama wants it to pass. 60 Senators, and 256 Representatives are plenty enough to pass it. The reason for these town hall meetings is for him to gain support as his approval rating plummets. He realizes that if he simply just pushes this through, Democrats stand a good chance of losing a lot of elections in 2010, something that was inconceivable six months ago.

Yes dudemus, that is how I read that.

"LB, it really doesn't matter what the right does, the bill is going to pass if Obama wants it to pass. 60 Senators,"

The bill as Obama, myself, and other Liberals wanted it never had the support of all 60 Democrats in the Senate. Ever hear of the Blue Dogs? In order to pass - which you're right, it will - it has been watered down so grotesquely that we're getting pretty much NOTHING that we wanted out of it in the first place. What we'll end up with is another useless protection bill for the insurance industry, and the sad part is that much of that is Obama's own fault.

You know that all bills are still draft bills right? Most blue dog democrats are against the main H.R. 3200. There are many other draft bills and what I mean was that Obama would push through some sort of health care bill, and if he forces it through too hard, it will cause him some problems..

If by protection, you mean no government backed/owned option, that is OK in my book.

Most things the gvt does is pathetic anyway. So many levels of useless people trying to justify their own jobs.

And please do not state there can be a gvt plan competing with private industry. If the gvt plan is losing money, they just pump more into it, by raising taxes or cutting benefits.

I like my health insurance the way it is right now. Thank you very much.

Yes, of course it's not final yet. My point was that our hope of real reform is gone, thanks to those politicians on both sides who decided to vote for who pays most to their campaign funds and not for their constituents. It will pass, but it will be crap, unless a miracle happens.

The Dems are doing these town halls hoping for a miracle, not to inflate approval ratings.

"If by protection, you mean no government backed/owned option, that is OK in my book."

In that part I was referring to the provision that would have repealed the ban on negotiating drug prices. But the public option going poof is what really bites my rear.

"And please do not state there can be a gvt plan competing with private industry. If the gvt plan is losing money, they just pump more into it, by raising taxes or cutting benefits."

I'd actually rather see the government plan put every single one of those misery-profiteering parasites out of business.

"I like my health insurance the way it is right now. Thank you very much."

I don't. Oh wait, that's because I don't have any. I'd rather have the public option, yes, even if it turns out like *gasp!* Canada's.

If the true majority of people in the US wanted healthcare reform, I am sure a bill would pass.

But a majority like their current healthcare.

"If the true majority of people in the US wanted healthcare reform, I am sure a bill would pass."

A fair share of that "majority" also believe a public option means their elderly parents will be euthanized by death panels.

And last I checked the majority backed a public option, but I can't back that up right now, so I agree to call it hearsay.

84% of people like their current health care provider.

Yes.

How many support reform?

Well, what kindof of poll do you want? 53% now completely oppose Congressional reform. I'm sure a lot more would oppose a single payer plan. I mean, I'm not crazy enough to think that reform isn't needed, I'm one of the 47% liberal ones.

I just spent 40 minutes looking for the article on the issue that I read a few days ago, but it's gone.

It raised a good point about those people who claim to be satisfied with their insurance: have they ever had an emergency where they needed it? Insurance is something you can't tell you're satisfied with or not until you're in a position where you need prompt medical attention. If someone who is satisfied today is denied my their insurer tomorrow when they learn they have cancer, are they still satisfied with the coverage?

Either way, I'm not satisfied with no coverage. Thats why I voted for the guy who wants a public option.

And Bob,

Why do you not have coverage?

So you want me to pay for you to have medical coverage? Where in the constitution is it stated medical care is a right?

There are many places you can get medical care and there is something called EMTALA. Ever hear of it? It states that you can go to ANY ER and get the same treatment as anyone with the best insurance. The ER cannot send you away until they have diagnosed the problem and treated it.

If you hate the current system so much, I hear Canada is very nice in the summer. And they are accepting applications for citizenship.

But what about tort reform? Nobody has touched that. And for me, going through a malpractice case where I did nothing wrong, it is a subject that has to be dealt with if reform of any kind occurs.

"So you want me to pay for you to have medical coverage?"

I would prefer a single payer system where the underclass isn't left out. That means we all pay for each other's health care, not you pay for mine.

"Where in the constitution is it stated medical care is a right?"

Where in the constitution is it stated you have a right to low taxes?

"If you hate the current system so much, I hear Canada is very nice in the summer."

Ah yes, the old "if you don't like America then you can geeet ouuuuut!!" defense. It absolutely HAS to be said with a deep southern yokel accent or you just don't get the full effect. It's the battle cry of uneducated conservatives that think "the American way" equates to THEIR way, and everyone with a differing opinion has no right to call this nation home.

Well to answer your question: I'd rather stay here and vote against people like you.

But why not take your own advice? I hear Saudi Arabia is rather conservative. You might consider moving out that way if our side gets another four years.

"That means we all pay for each other's health care, not you pay for mine. "

But if you're already not paying for your own, how can you all be paying for each other's...?

Let's face it, the word we're looking for here is handout. It's a painful word for some and a much-wanted word for others, but that's what it is - if you're not paying for your healthcare and the gov't gives it to you, it was handed out, and what Ranger is concerned about is that it gets handed out on the funds from his and others' wallets.

And if it isn't coming from theirs, whose is it coming from?

You did not answer my question.

Why do you not have medical insurance?

Are you disabled and cannot work? There is medicaid for these people.

Do you have a part time job that gives no benefits? You can buy a private policy.

Did you decide not to buy insurance and go on that vacation instead?

All are reason, what is yours?

If you really want health care, there are ways to get it.

But it seems you want a single payer system where the people paying taxes pay for the health care of those that do not. Or pay very little taxes.

So, what about those people that smoke and drink themselves to sickness? Should I have to pay for their vices also?

Medicare and social security are already in the hole 100T. And we want to entrust MORE powers to the Federal government? Once it shows that it can run a restaurant without running up massive debts (heh, reminds me of that one scene in Goodfellas, where they get a restaurant, run up large debts, then burn it down), I might be slightly more open to the idea.

Marl,

That is yet another reason not to trust the government to run something so large as healthcare.

However we have a large proportion of the United States that feels some sort of entitlement. And refuse to make sacrifices in order to be successful.

I personally lived in a rathole of an apartment for 8 years during college and med school. Then a slightly better rathole during residency. Never wanted anything from the government other than to be safe.

Seems people would like to press the Easy button and not have to work for things.

wow.. first 10 posts of this were an on topic discussion of comedy
(albeit with a gentle poke at another thread in the subject)

... then political aspersions started getting thrown around like feces at monkey pen...

... couldn't most -as-in-all- of these comments stayed in the other thread?!?

here's an idea... let's kill all the poor people... sure it'll be expensive but we can tax the sweet crap out of the rich to pay for it!

Listening to the two sides of the US political system makes me think of two neighbours arguing over who's lawn is greener while ignoring that both houses are on fire.

The entrenched two party mindset of American politics is probably the greatest disservice to democracy in your country.

Poor Demetri. Shame on all of you. *smile*

My good ol' Mac, Little White, just died. Dead PSU (twice), hard drive failure, logic board capacitor collapse, and tons of upgrades to the OS over the years. Tonight, it would not start. I think it is the logic board again, and that will cost hundreds to fix (because I don't think I can do that myself, like I did the second PSU change). And anyway, it will just eventually cook itself again. Never saw five years.

I am very glad Apple switched to Intel chips, that newer iMac runs like a champ, cool as a cucumber. Never disregard heat production. Heat kills.

Godspeed, iMac G5 with the last of the PowerPC architecture for Apple machines! GODSPEED!

OH MY GOD! This cat has nine loves. So I go in there, it was lying flat, back open, the whole thing is HOT!!!! Won't boot up, yet apparently is running all the juice possible through the logic board. I unplug it, certain I have put the last nail into Rasputin.

I fiddle with the fan cords, one seems _slightly_ loose. Plug it in again, fire it up, BAM. All LEDs on, and the good ole Apple "bong" through the speakers. Led 4, the dreaded overheat LED momentarily lights red as blood, but then goes out.

It lives. I can't believe it.

"The entrenched two party mindset of American politics is probably the greatest disservice to democracy in your country."

Where do you want me to ship the statue I built in your honor?

Indeed it is.

However, it is the current system. One has to choose which party will be best for the country.

And people are very passionate about their choice.

I'm not.

You get a lot of mileage out of your assumptions, Ranger.

The Mac is dead again! Maybe a long trip in a car will magically reset it! If not, I've decided I'm going to EAT it! Piece by piece!

What assumptions Sut?

I never assumed you or all people were passionate. But know some are.

I think you are reading too much into my posts.

Sorry, there's just so few of them that when I see one I guess I just jump all over it.

(...because when I mention things in threads you almost always assume I am referring to you, specifically. What comes around, goes around, I guess. Maybe we have found our common ground!)

"You did not answer my question.
Why do you not have medical insurance?"

I didn't answer your question because:
1): It's none of your business. (Well, normally)
... and ...
2.): I'm sure you can guess why.

"You can buy a private policy."

For how much? Private policies are generally useless, for the cost. That's assuming one can afford the cost...

"Did you decide not to buy insurance and go on that vacation instead? "

... your usual excuse for Liberals on the other side: "they spent it on crap instead, because they're stupid."

Again, your hypocrisy. Three times minimum by my count. Probably more.

As you are a real doctor, and - holy crap, believe it or not, - I trust you, I'd be willing to discuss this in PM.

"But it seems you want a single payer system where the people paying taxes pay for the health care of those that do not."

Absolutely. And I have reasons for this.

"Or pay very little taxes."

The people who have nothing else to give after monthly expenses should have to pay the minimum amount of tax, for incredibly obvious reasons.

"I personally lived in a rat hole of an apartment for 8 years during college and med school. Then a slightly better rat hole during residency."

Welcome to my life. What do you want, a cookie?

A state of luxury is not the same as a basic quality of life (A.K.A., basic health care in case one gets seriously injured or sick).

We're not asking for a large, plasma screen TV. We're asking for LIFE AND HEALTH!

"Never wanted anything from the government other than to be safe."

Ok, where in the Constitution were you promised that?

"Seems people would like to press the Easy button and not have to work for things."

Thanks for re-affirming my usual point against you.

"Lurknivar: here's an idea... let's kill all the poor people... "

I'd sooner kill you.

"The entrenched two party mindset of American politics is probably the greatest disservice to democracy in your country."

Well, at least that we can agree on.

I predict three parties within the next 20 years...

But who listens to me?

Please note:

This is a thread about comedy...

For political banter, please click:

here

"This is a thread about comedy...
For political banter, please click:"

It has evolved into something else.

Threads change. It is the way it is.

We're now discussing politics. Live with it.

This is the off-topic forum. For debates, please see here, where, conveniently enough, you will surely notice a thread with a very similar discussion to the one that has taken over this thread going on. ;)

Off-topic threads will surely degenerate into.. well, things like this. As long as there are conservatives around to instigate, I assure you, I will be there to set them straight.

Hey, now I know why LB likes the right to bear arms :P.

"Hey, now I know why LB likes the right to bear arms"

For the same reason conservatives do?

This thread has me all emotional.. I laughed, I cried, I got sick and died.

You can close it if you want, Fexy.

so what are the best 7 sentences - I am very confused

"so what are the best 7 sentences - I am very confused"

The ones where I punch Limbaugh, Cantor, McConnell, Palin, McCain, and Beck in the face.

No Bob, I cannot guess why you have no health insurance.

But I do know you harbor some real deep resentment to those that are successful.

I have no idea why but you seem very angry at someone or something.

Without knowledge of why you do not have insurance, this is a very one sided discussion.

And one I will cease to participate in anymore.

Good. I'll take that as a free "get the last word" card and explain the post and why your response to it, Ranger, was unfortunate.

I posted the original post in parody. Parody. Not even of _you_ but of the Adrian Rogers quote. On the 5-word thread, you didn't support your quote, you didn't say why you liked it or thought it was the best ever, and you didn't address the fact that the quote was incorrectly dated (mis-attributed). That's important. On the internet, all we have is bunch of references flying around, and when a grown man, a physician, no less, can't even properly dispense facts, well, that's disappointing. Do you think facts are unimportant? That it is only the rhetoric that matters?

Furthermore, Adrian Rogers is not someone, as far as I can tell, that you would ever really respect or admire. He sounds like an ultra-ultra-conservative, and has made unfortunate remarks about slavery. In other words (again, because you won't discuss it), I can only assume you picked out the quote completely on its own merits, no knowledge of the source, and without any context whatsoever.

If I went and picked out some liberal viewpoint, something I totally agreed with, but that was attributed to a left-wing extremist, you would have commented. I believe that. Lord Bob has already pointed out your hypocrisy in the way you tell others to discuss topics when you yourself regularly use straw-man arguments, false dichotomies, and bluster to plow your way through other's differing opinions. You don't care about common ground, and you don't care about learning.

So, I went with humor. Quote responding to quote. Believe it or not, it _wasn't_ _about_ _you_. I quoted a joke, from a comic I greatly respect, and admire, and added my own humor in regards to chronological attribution (but at least got it in the ballpark). Again, nothing to do with you. I was jabbing fun at Adrian Rogers, if anything. Poor taste, I suppose, considering he's expired, but oh well. No one has ever accused me of being overly tasteful.

I'm summary, I apologize if your feelings were hurt by me making my post. But in the same breath, I will have to admit I am not apologizing for the act itself, because that had nothing to do with you, and was humorous, to boot (as the first several posts on the thread bear out as we discussed some comics we like).

"But I do know you harbor some real deep resentment to those that are successful."

Again with your false rationalizations. You give me an opinion to explain to yourself why I stand where I do politically.

Here, you confuse "those that are successful" with "conservatives."

Plenty of "conservatives" would blanch in horror and refuse to be associated with this particularly asinine version of "Hey baby, I got mine."