denial is a killer (in Off-topic)


AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] August 16 2010 9:14 PM EDT

My best friend is a drunk, a miserable lying piece of crap drunk.
He got into a car accident last night, managed to put his girlfriend in the hospital and himself in county. He was one tiny breath away from killing someone, and only circumstance made it so only he and his were hurt. If you know someone completely out of control, don't wait another minute, tell them now that you're done with them until they change.

The simple act of being a friend to someone in the process of destroying themselves is enabling. I've done everything else I could to help my friend, and I'm regretting not having walked away years ago now.

AdminTal Destra August 16 2010 9:17 PM EDT

This touches on a very hard memory of mine. Like novice said, Don't wait until its too late.

Zenai August 16 2010 9:19 PM EDT

Man I'm sorry to hear that bro. Only thought I have is this advice my mother gave me: You cannot help someone until they are ready to accept it. Accept that you might not be the right one to give that help.

I think it fitting for circumstances like this bro.

Godpanda August 16 2010 9:25 PM EDT

It isn't a mistake to try and be the best friend that you can be. There's no manual for what is right and wrong at the time. And there's never a right answer. In the end, it's his decisions. Is it enabling to be there to help him?

Everyone is different. For every person who hurt themself to get more attention from the people around them there is another who hurt themself because they weren't getting enough.

I'm not saying you're wrong. I've made this call on a few friends. The key, I guess, is to accept that people are responsible for their own actions. That NOTHING you do will be right, because there's no right.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] August 16 2010 9:33 PM EDT

I don't think you can truly express your disgust with the actions of a loved one while continuing a relationship with them. If they were poisoning someone besides themselves to death would you accept it and just do the best you could? Hell no!

Godpanda August 16 2010 9:38 PM EDT

True. But if everyone leaves them. Well. If you were all alone and had let all your friends down so completely... Well, some people would fix themselves. Some would give up utterly.

Zenai August 16 2010 9:51 PM EDT

^___Agreed.

AdminNightStrike August 16 2010 10:10 PM EDT

GW - either of those two outcomes is perfectly fine.
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