*~What would you do if you found a talking frog? (in Contests)

{CB1ate}aupStar September 30 2005 12:27 AM EDT

Most creative answer gets 10k...=)

Shayde September 30 2005 12:28 AM EDT

cook it and eat its legs

QBRanger September 30 2005 12:29 AM EDT

Get it to sing, rent a theatre and give free beer to get people inside to watch it. Then as the curtain opens, watch as it goes "croak". Then lose everything I own and end up on a park bench.

Special J September 30 2005 12:29 AM EDT

Ask it about;
USD, NUB, Auction Sniping and where the other tasty frogs are.

Iono September 30 2005 12:29 AM EDT

i would keep it, bring it to the government and become rich.

Ilovehellokitty September 30 2005 12:30 AM EDT

lick it till it goes....:"brrrrrrrr...."

QBOddBird September 30 2005 12:31 AM EDT

I'd keep it. Not every day you find a talking frog.

People that kiss 'em and turn them into princesses are silly...princesses are all over the place...but I've never had a talking frog.

Same goes for those turned into princes. Don't we have enough royalty, anyways?

Oh, and if nothing else, I'd teach that frog to ice skate. If he can talk, he can listen, and learn....and an ice skating frog in Robin Hood On Ice would be fantastic.

CoolWater September 30 2005 12:31 AM EDT

Ask the frog where did aupstar get all his AGs.

Elf X.7plus35k September 30 2005 12:32 AM EDT

Lol I'd date it provided it has a higher IQ than my brother (but that's another loooong book that I'll save you all from reading here ;))

Iono September 30 2005 12:34 AM EDT

if i found i talking frog i would keep it and play with it and make it become very smart and become a translater between frog and english so everyone could have frog as a new language. :P

{CB1ate}aupStar September 30 2005 12:44 AM EDT

ribbit! rabit!

Lu Bu[willsue] September 30 2005 12:45 AM EDT

man if i had a talking frog i will treat it like its my new best friend, taking him out to the frog clubs and having him get the girl frogs' numbers, you know live the normal life of a party goer.

Also i would show my friends the frog and name him Lu Bu 3 :)

Tenchi Muyo September 30 2005 1:01 AM EDT

If it was also intelligent, I'd teach it how to use Firefox, get a CB account, and watch as a Frog with NUB takes the #1 spot, just to prove my point that intelligent frogs + NUB = #1 spot.

maulaxe September 30 2005 1:33 AM EDT

me: /walking along near some pond
frogs in general: ribbit, ribbit, croak, whatever
the talking frog: Hey, wassup?
me: huh? /looks around
talking frog: yeah you, I'm talking to you!
me: what? thats wierd. must be hearing things...
frog: /looks confused and slightly miffed
me: /walks off
frog: darn it! not again!

bartjan September 30 2005 1:43 AM EDT

Record it and sell it as a ring tone? ;P

trigun September 30 2005 1:45 AM EDT

ill teach it to use a voice-activated pc so it can play cb2 and chat with u guys..hehe ^_^

Vaynard [Fees Dirt Cheap] September 30 2005 2:06 AM EDT

I think it would be interesting to get the philisophical views of a creature other than man. And since aliens are nowhere to be seen, a talking frog would be perfect! You could learn the intricacies of life, untainted by money or hate. Many valuable life lessons could be gleamed from such a chance meeting, and I would consider myself blessed to be the first to talk to and learn from such a truly unique perspective.

So yes, in short, I would talk to the talking frog. That plain and simple. I do have to wonder though, would he be in awe of our society? Or would he look down upon us for our petty materialism and how we waste so much of our time and energy not on the future but on painful things like drugs, killing, and self-gratification?

Oh, to know what a frog thinks would be truly divine.

AdminG Beee September 30 2005 3:34 AM EDT

Well, if a frog talked to me I'd put my beer down and never touch another drop. We know what Jonathan would do though.


A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
The boy bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I'm creating a game called Carnage Blender. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] September 30 2005 3:36 AM EDT

Ask if it could point me in the direction of a talking chipmunk.

InebriatedArsonist September 30 2005 3:46 AM EDT

I'd let him alone. I'm sure that Frod wouldn't want to be interrupted in the middle of a conversation.

Oooh, you meant a talking frog.

Grim Reaper September 30 2005 4:09 AM EDT

"i would keep it, bring it to the government and become rich."

Reminds me of that cartoon where the guy found a singing frog so tried to make money off him, and then the frog said nothing to people but sang to himself at times when he wasn't being shown off.

RAMPAGE September 30 2005 5:03 AM EDT

I would sell it to Budweiser for their next set of beer ads,

Mem September 30 2005 5:10 AM EDT

Hello my baby, hello my darling...

Sell that thing right to the WB, complete with top hat.

QBJohnnywas September 30 2005 5:18 AM EDT

What language would the frog speak? It's no good to me if it spoke German for instance. French I can deal with, je parle un peu, but a German frog? Nah. Point me in the direction of the dancing chickens my green friend...

AdminG Beee September 30 2005 5:29 AM EDT

Talking frogs seem to be a dime a dozen. Now, a dancing frog would be worth having ;)

QBJohnnywas September 30 2005 5:30 AM EDT

dancing frogs, dancing chickens, dancing shades - we could have CB the musical!

AdminShade September 30 2005 5:33 AM EDT

Since when do I dance?

QBJohnnywas September 30 2005 5:34 AM EDT

don't get us started on your I'm happy I've got a new camera dance......lol

now the question is do you sing? Does the talking frog sing? Could he be a Sinatra for the 21st century?

QBJohnnywas September 30 2005 5:38 AM EDT

But also, how do we know it's a talking frog? It could be a talking toad that lies really well..

I'd look around for the talking bear in a hat and a talking blonde pig....

.....now there's an idea for a tv show....

AdminShade September 30 2005 6:02 AM EDT

but now for the contest, if it isn't over yet:

If I were to find a talking frog I would talk with it about the meaning of life.
I would ask it all the big questions and also ask if the frog thinks that a froggish life is too short or not.

That's what I'd do if I would find a talking frog.

Jerk September 30 2005 6:07 AM EDT

I would call the pharmacist up and tell them they had made a mix up on my prescription because I am seeing talking frogs. Then I would very carefully go back and get right medicine and warn the pharmacist the side effects of whatever they had given me .

{CB1ate}aupStar September 30 2005 6:24 AM EDT

In a way, your all winners so I've sent 1k to all of you...=) Even those that were a lil bit off topic, but I've sent you 1k anyway, just to sweeten your day...;) hehe It was good though, you all used your human intellect in order to remind/amuse me. I thank you all for that...=)

That's all for now...^_^ Have a nice day.

*Beam me up Spock*

QBJohnnywas September 30 2005 6:28 AM EDT

Hey thanks!

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] September 30 2005 6:43 AM EDT

I used my chipmunk's intellect, but I'll pass along the thanks. :)

AdminShade September 30 2005 7:00 AM EDT

tnx :)

CoolWater September 30 2005 7:22 AM EDT

tha. :)

Jordan23 September 30 2005 10:38 AM EDT

People in Canada call french Canadian FROG
so i am a TALKING FROG.
And we are in Quebec 5M of talking FROG

Roughneck September 30 2005 11:22 AM EDT

Check myself into an insane asylum,

Caedmon [Revenge of the Forgers] September 30 2005 11:32 AM EDT

Melt some butter, chop some shallots, put the skillet on high heat...

HunterFrei September 30 2005 2:18 PM EDT

I'd tell it to say "Ah." As it was doing that I'd shove an M-80 into its mouth. Then I would find out if it is smart enough to get the fire-cracker out of its mouth before the fuse is gone...

Relic September 30 2005 2:23 PM EDT

Well, the first thing I would do is find the frog an agent (no idea why, but all celebrities have them, so they must be good for something).

The next thing would be to find the frog a publicist (see agent comment).

I would of course be the frog's manager (gotta get my 10 to 20% cut).

My first task would be to make some Disney movie with the frog as the star of the movie, we would make millions.....

After the initial Disney movie, the frog and I would collaborate on a personal memoirs book of some sort. Clothing lines, children's books, the sky is the limit really. After he got tired of all the spotlight, I would probably have a little frog leg soup. :P

QBBarzooMonkey September 30 2005 2:28 PM EDT

That wouldn't work, because Hollywood types would say "Why should we pay your crazy fees for a talking frog when we can spend a lot less on animators to make a CGI one".

You'd have to stick to live TV appearances - charge a whole lot to appear on Oprah & The Today Show & Entertainment Tonight :)

deathwake September 30 2005 5:36 PM EDT

i would sell it on ebay

LumpBot September 30 2005 7:49 PM EDT

My girlfriend's mother was drunk, and had a very in depth conversation with the frog using the quote, "We were eyeball to eyeball, it was magnificent" at least 20 times that night.
this was 2 weeks ago =P

QBOddBird September 30 2005 8:28 PM EDT

Oh, to know what a frog thinks would be truly divine.

--Vaynard, 2:06 AM EDT

"errmmm, ribitfliesribitilikefliesribitgimmefliesribityumribitilikejumpingribitribit"

{CB3}-HR22 October 1 2005 6:21 PM EDT

First i would stomp on it.
Then i would gather up its guts and put them into a small baggy.
Then i would take it to a remote laboratory and put it all back. together.
Then i would study it for several years and try to figure out how it talks.
Then i would teach it some bad words.
Then i would feed it to my dog.
Then i would give my dog some Ex-lax, put it outside, and wait.
Then i would find the chewed up frog in my dog's bathroom.
Then i would take it back to my lab and clean it.
Then i would heal it once again until it was fully restored and talking.
Then i would enter it into a spelling bee, where it would win me $10,000.
Then i would buy some land with that $10,000
Then i would built a home for my talking frog, which would have a pond, lilypads, other frogs.
Then i would let my frog live there until he died.
Then i would find him and bury him.
Then i would go and spend the rest of my life looking for another frog to replace him.

Khardin October 1 2005 11:06 PM EDT

I believe the only course of action would be to create a 'talking frog commission'. the first step towards this goal would be a headquarters for our TFC to coordinate our efforts in all talking frog matters.
do we need chefs?
do we need a vet?
what kind of people need to be in place to ensure a TFC that is prepared to handle talking frog issues?
how many lawyers can we fit in the office down the hall?
will our break room consist of free and/or reduced price snack foods?
and most importantly, how much can i claim as operating expenses and retain non-profit advantages?
lets get the ball rolling!
and remember, the question isn't 'what would you do if you found a talking frog? The real question is what would you do if you found a talking frog and the TFC was not in place.
let's secure our futures before we're caught unprepared again.
the cow jumped over the moon, and where were we?
jack and jill went up the hill, and where were we?
it's time to get off our tuffets, put down the curds and whey, and take care of business.
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