Muwahahahaha! (or, "How I Learned To Laugh At The Carnage") (in Contests)

QBBarzooMonkey March 9 2006 5:53 PM EST

It's time for some comedy! Carnage Blender comedy!

1st prize is a donation from G Beee's "Admin Treasure Trove" - 1 million CB2 $!!!!!!
2nd prize is 250k and a surprise item from your's truly :)

You are simply asked to be funny, in a CB2 sort-of way! Jokes, one liners, or "classic" comedy bits "altered" to fit the Carnage are all acceptable. I'll post 3 examples just to give you the idea of where this is meant to go :)

The rules (as usual):
1. PG people!
2. Multiple entries are allowed
3. Entries can either be completely original, or a "twist" on a well-known joke or "bit"
4. Deadline for entries will be Saturday, March 18th at noon (server time)
5. This is meant to be fun, so entries judged to be insulting in a mean-spirited or malicious manner will be disqualified (and I will beg or even pay an admin to remove them)

Example 1 - one-liners:

Jokes enchanters tell:
How many tanks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just 1, but he uses a Morgul Hammer.

Jokes mages tell:
How many fireball mages does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. With a fireball this big, who needs a light bulb?

Jokes tanks tell:
How many fireball mages does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Fireball is so overpowered, who needs a light bulb?

Game on!

QBBarzooMonkey March 9 2006 5:54 PM EST

A "classic" comic dialogue example:

[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Well, let's see, we have an enchanter, a mage and a tank, Who's the enchanter, What's the mage, I Don't Know is the tank...
DeaThkill3R: That's what I want to find out.
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: I say Who's the enchanter, What's the mage, I Don't Know is the tank.
DeaThkill3R: It's your character?
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Yes.
DeaThkill3R: You hired and named the minions?
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Yes.
DeaThkill3R: And you don't know the minions' names?
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Well I should.
DeaThkill3R: Well then who's the enchanter?
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Yes.
DeaThkill3R: I mean the enchanter's name.
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Who.
DeaThkill3R: The enchanter.
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Who.
DeaThkill3R: The enchanter.
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Who.
DeaThkill3R: The one with the Ablative Shield...
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Who is the enchanter!
DeaThkill3R: I'm asking YOU who's the enchanter.
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: That's the minion's name.
DeaThkill3R: That's who's name?
[CB1]DarkDoomGuy: Yes.

QBBarzooMonkey March 9 2006 5:55 PM EST

A funny story example:

A Fireball Mage walks into a tavern commonly frequented by Tanks, and struts up to the center of the bar to order a drink. He downs it quickly, turns to his right, and as flames begin to dance on his fingers, exclaims, "All of you tanks on the right side of this bar are idiots! Anyone have a problem with that?" He is greeted with silent stares.

He orders another drink, downs it quickly, and then turns to his left. As flames begin to dance on his fingertips, he exclaims, "All of you tanks on the left side of this bar are scum! Anyone have a problem with that?" He is greeted with silent stares again.

As he turns to order another drink, he hears clanking to his left, and turns again to see a tank wearing double chain mail shuffling towards him. He points a flaming finger at the the shuffling tank and asks, "Are we going to have a problem here?"

The tank responds, "No, no problem. I'm just on the wrong side of the bar."

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] March 9 2006 5:55 PM EST

A guy walks into a bar, ouch it was a steel bar! (no qual due to horrible rip off)

chappy [Soup Ream] March 9 2006 6:11 PM EST

I was browsing around the net looking for some content to spark my brain and I stumbled upon this AD&D Christmas Song.

I'm not sure if it counts as an entry, but I don't care either way as I found it rather humerous..

WeaponX March 9 2006 6:13 PM EST

a real thing that happened recently. edited to be funny.

MegamanV "i think USD is so overpowered in this game it is so unfair"

hours later.

Chappy "man i can't believe it"

MegamanV " whats up chap"

Chappy "Ranger outbid me on Matrim's Tattoo. should i outbid him"

MegamanV "of course man spend spend spend"

Chappy "i thought you were against spending USD in CB"

MegamanV "of course i am im broke"

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] March 9 2006 6:21 PM EST

Just this morning, one of CB's delightful young fellows stopped in the chat on his way to school. After ritual admonishments on the benefits of a good breakfast (for learning drivers!), it was revealed there was no available breakfast food in the house.

A sidetrack to discussion of Tim Horton's provided nothing useful, but shortly thereafter he announced with his usual delight, "Yesterday I won a donut!".

I had to ask, because he seemed so excited, "A _whole_ donut? O.O".

His superb reply: "Well, it had a hole in it. But it was still good."

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] March 9 2006 6:26 PM EST

Once upon a time there were three Single ToE FB Mages.

Now there's thousands of them!

stabilo [Lonesome fighter] March 9 2006 6:39 PM EST

in chat:

plubo> I'm not a multi, I know plubo, he is my roommate, I'm klobu
plubo> *sorry, I mean I'm plubo

Xiaz on Hiatus March 9 2006 7:33 PM EST

What is the similarity between a FB mage and US Vice President Dick Cheney?
They're both powerful, yet have a tendency to inflict damage on their allies!

What's the difference between Jon and the Almighty?
The Almighty doesn't take pleasure in your pain.

If you gave your mentee a nice strategy, what would he do with it?
He'd use it to beat you silly!

Why are FB mages like pretty women?
From afar they look superb, but if you get too close you'll get burnt!

RAMPAGE March 9 2006 7:35 PM EST

Panting and perspiring, a mage and a tank on a
tandem bicycle at last got to the top of a steep hill...

"THAT was a steep climb," said the mage.

"It certainly was," replied the tank. "If I hadn't kept the brake
on, we would have slid down backward for sure."

On the first day of enchanters school the teacher said, "If anyone
has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."

A little voice from the back of the classroom asked, "How will that

There was this tank who wanted to take up a new winter
hobby. He went to the library and started studying all about ice

Finally, he went out on the ice, set up all his stuff, and sat down.

All of a sudden, a bellowing voice from above said, "There are no
fish under this ice!"

Startled, he got up and moved to a different spot.

Right as he began to sit down, the voice from above spoke again --
"There are no fish under this ice!"

Frustrated, he got up and walked a long ways away onto a new patch
of ice. Then he sat down and set up all of her gear.

Once again, the voice spoke -- "There are no fish under this ice!"

Now the tank was very mad. "Jon, is that you? he asked.

"No," came the reply, "it's the manager of the ice skating rink."

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named G Beee consistently
caught more fish than anyone else...

When the other guys would only catch three or four a day, G Beee would
come in off the lake with a boat full.

The warden asked G Beee his secret.

The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and

So, the next morning the two men met at the boat dock and took off in
G Beee's boat.

When they got to the middle of the lake, G Beee stopped the boat, and
the warden sat back to see how it was done.

G Beee's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it,
and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a
force that dead fish immediately began to surface. G Beee took out a net
and started scooping them up.

Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he
recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at G Beee, "You
can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every
fine there is in the book!"

Meanwhile, G Beee set his net down and took out another stick of

He lit it, tossed it in the lap of the warden, and said, "Are ya just
gonna sit there all day complaining, or are ya going to fish?"

Ranger was having a drink at a local pub with his good buddy, G Beee.

G Beee noticed an impressive new watch on Ranger's wrist and
asked, "Where did you get that gold watch Ranger?"

"I won it in a race," answered Ranger.

"Wow," that's great said G Beee. "How many people participated in the

"Three," explained Ranger, "A policeman, the owner of the jewelry store,
and me!!!"

rufen March 9 2006 8:28 PM EST

On the 1st Day, Jon doth created the Tank.

On the 2nd Day, Jon doth created the Mage, to counter the tank.

On the 3rd Day, Jon doth created the Enchanter, to hinder the Tank and Mage.

On the 4th Day, Jon doth created XP, so as to keep his people in check.

On the 5th Day, Jon doth created the NUB and NCB, to aid his newborn people.

On the 6th Day, Jon doth created the multi, spammer, and n00b, to keep his people alert.

On the 7th Day, Jon doth took a break to ponder why he had done such a horrible thing the previous day, and how he would negate it.

Mem March 9 2006 9:14 PM EST

I killed a guy today.

QBBarzooMonkey March 9 2006 10:25 PM EST

Did you throw a trident?

Nakmirax March 10 2006 12:39 AM EST

So this tank was driving a semi one day and saw an enchanter hitchhiking on the side of the rode and picked him up. About 15 minutes after this he he saw a mage walking along the side of the road as well.

Now the tank was in a real dilemma. He had sworn to himself that he would run-over every mage he saw, but how could he do this with an enchanter sitting right next to him? So he came up with this amazing plan. He would pretend that he had fallen asleep at the wheel, swerve towards the mage and run him over, snap awake and pretend like he had no idea what had happened.

So he starts to do this, he closes his eyes, swerves, and hears a THUD.. thud thud thud thud. The tank snaps his eyes open and shouts "oh my god! did I hit someone!" To which the enchanter replies " No, you missed him, but I got him with the door.

Sukotto [lookingglas] March 10 2006 2:56 AM EST

"I killed a guy today"
-- Mem Dotson

"Just to watch him die"
[The CB roars it's appreciation of this line]

Q: You're posting in forums. Did you use all your BA?
A: No, I just like leaving it at 160. Here's your sign.

maulaxe March 10 2006 3:09 AM EST

heard at the CB store returns counter:

"tulwars go on that big pile over there"

Drakon(DS) [Guardian Bros Inc] March 10 2006 3:27 AM EST

This is a twist on one of my favorite jokes:

One day Jon decided he was gonna change the admittance policy to get it to the next realm. So he went to Ranger and told him "that in order for someone to go to the next realm they have to die in a bad way, start at 12:00 tomorrow." Ranger is standing at the gate at noon the next day when a tank walks up to him and says,
"Hey Ranger I want to go to the next realm."
"Ok no problem just tell me how you died."
"Yea well I came home from training early to find my Familiar at my house. I thought she was helping someone else so I got mad and went searching for the person. Well after searching for a minute I hear sounds coming from the balcony and went to look. I saw the CoC Mage hanging by his finger tips so I began stomping on them. Well he fell about 15 stories and landed in some trees but was still alive(I think he was a CoC ToE mage but I'm not sure.) Well when he didn't die I got mad and threw the first thing I could get my hands on after him(I left my ELB at my training site.) the refrigerator. I pushed it to the balcony and tossed it over. But I was Killed by GA."
"Hmmm... Ok you can go that was kind of a bad way to die."
So after the tank walks into the next realm the next caudate walks up it was a CoC Mage.
"Hey Ranger can I go to the next realm."
"Ok but you have to tell me how you died."
"Well my mentor Shade was hounding me a lot through training so I went home early to my place on the 16th floor of Shire. Well I was out on the balcony doing some yoga and I messed up and fell of the balcony. Luck for me I grabbed he balcony ledge below mind. Just as I got a good grip though this BL Tank came out and started shouting about his tattoo and started stomping on my fingers. Well even though I have a ToE I could only take so much so I let go. When I fell I hit some tree and didn't die but then I look up at the Tank and he is throwing a refrigerator over the balcony but before it hit and killed me I got him with my GA."
"OH ok you can go in." As the mage walks through he starts laughing and says wow I could get used to this. The next person to walk up is a FB mage.
"Hey can I get in now."
"No you first must tell me how your day went."
"Oh ok picture this I'm tattoo less hiding inside a refrigerator..."

Nakmirax March 10 2006 2:38 PM EST

Orion was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the
table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an
article about a beautiful enchanter that was about to marry a
tank who was known primarily for his lack of IQ
and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face.
"I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most
attractive wives."

His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"

QBOddBird March 10 2006 5:01 PM EST

The New Player Observation, standard comedy fare:

<roy7> That's kind of sad. The highest level RoE in the game is... level 20

classic. Also, Ranger and Vestax's gems...

Then, alas, archery was neutered --QBRanger, 7:20 PM EST (perhaps I should've rephrased that as lack of gems?)

Carnage Blender Boxers. This way the girls know you've got the rhythm. Down Enter Down Enter Down Enter... --[poor]Vestax, 8:03 PM EST

Scytale is a keen fellow.

<scytale> good actually....metal is a good source of iron :)

<reobakusheri> well u don't have to go ew just because i like something that u don't
<reobakusheri> that hurts my feelings...... =(
<Lehrkraft> aw :(
<Lehrkraft> OB is sorry
<reobakusheri> really?
<Lehrkraft> no
<[OB]DrDictator> no.
<BlueWolf> lol
<BlueWolf> burn.
<reobakusheri> waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! =(
reobakusheri left the room.

(A few words have been changed to correct spelling to help the spell checker out, since putting this into HTML format would eradicate the names and their tags.)

On a side note, there are a billion more funny conversations that I could enter, but so many are not PG that I had to pick and choose carefully. I wish I could put some of the others in...*sighs*

RAMPAGE March 10 2006 6:10 PM EST

There are two goldfish in a tank, and one says to the other:"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Three enchanters are walking through the forest.They come upon some tracks.The first enchanter says"They're deer tracks."
the second enchanter says,"They're bear tracks."
The third enchanter says, "they're moose tracks." Then the train hits them.

An enchanter wants to earn some extra cash,so he decides to hire himself out as a handyman. he goes to the front door of a house and asks if he has any jobs for him to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch." he repiles,"how much will you charge?"
The enchanter says,"How about $50K CB2?" The man agrees and leads him to the garage where he keeps the paint and equipment.
The man's wife overhears the conversation and says to him,"Does he know that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
"He should, He was standing on it!" He replied.
A short time later, the enchanter is back at the door to collect his money. "You're finished already?" he asks.
"Sure am," he answers.The man is very impressed and reaches into his pocket for the money.
"By the way," the enchanter adds,"that's not a Porsche-it's a Ferrari.

[me]Davis March 10 2006 8:09 PM EST

Ok TSCM and Ranger are sitting in a bar. Ranger says, "I think im gonna go back to school." Tscm quickly agreed and said tommorow he would go over and sign up for the Community College. Well next morning Tscm gets to the Community College and starts talking to the dean of admissions. The dean told him to sign up for basic classes like: Math, science, history, and logic. To which Tscm replied, "What's logic?" The dean said, "Well answer me this do you own a weed-eater?" Tscm said he did. The dean then said, "Well since you own a weed eater I can assume you have a yard. And since you have a yard im guessing you have a house. And since you have a house you have a family. And since you have a family you have a wife. And since you have a wife I can tell you are heterosexual." Tscm goes," Thats amazing!!!" Tscm goes back to the bar later that night and is talking to ranger. Ranger asked what classes Tscm is taking. Tscm replies, "Math, science, history, and logic." Ranger asks, "What's logic?" Tscm says, "Well do you own a weed eater?" Ranger shakes his head and Tscm says, "You homosexual!"

Hope that last word wasnt too bad....

[T]Vestax March 10 2006 10:13 PM EST

Go figure, writers block.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] March 10 2006 10:23 PM EST

c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c-i-m-p, grrr, l-a-s-t, whew
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c-f-a-n, arggg, t-a-b
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c-g-e-r, aack, k-o-s-t, NOOO
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter
c, enter, c, enter, c, enter...

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] March 10 2006 10:36 PM EST

PSA: Vestax meant "Writer's block". He would fix it himself, but I'm out of BA so he's busy presently.

[T]Vestax March 10 2006 10:50 PM EST

Thanks Bast, but I think it should be "writers' block" since I have multiple reasons why I can't write. One for every person on my fight list. Yet, it seems like you found some more BA, and so you solved all obstacles. Too bad I'm still not funny.

Drakon(DS) [Guardian Bros Inc] March 11 2006 3:58 AM EST

GBeee decided he was gonna buy a new car, so he goes to the shop and gets him a fast new car. Well he was driving really fast on about 110 and sees an admin pull up behind him well he thinks he can outrun him so he goes faster 120.....130.....140.....150.....160.....170 and then thinks to himself well im to old for this so ill just give well he pulls over and wiats for the admin to catch up. when the admin walks to his do the admin looks at his watch and says today is friday and i only have 30mins left on my shift if you can give me a reason to why you were speeding i have never heard before i will let you go. Hmmm well GBeee looks at the admin and says 2 years ago my wife ran off with an admin and i thought you was bringing her back. The admin then says go day sir

JAFO March 11 2006 5:51 AM EST

So.. Valiek was sitting in a bar and heard the most enchanting piano playing he'd ever heard... When he looked over at the piano, he didn't see anyone playing it. So he walked over to the piano and was astounded to see a tiny foot-tall man sitting on the bench and playing his heart out. He walked back over to the bartender and asked, "Where did you get that amazing little man?"

The bartender sighed, nodded toward a wizened little man sitting at the end of the bar, and replied "For twenty bucks, he'll grant any wish."

Valiek laughed off the response, obviously disbelieving such a far-fetched tale. The bartender continued, "If you don't believe me, go ahead, try him. But you have to speak up, he's a little hard of hearing."

So, Valiek walked over to the little man and spoke to him for a few minutes. Twenty dollars changed hands and suddenly the bar was full of hundreds of thousands of ducks, all of them wearing little Naval Construction Force insignias.

The ducks were flying around wildly... It was quite a job to shoo most of them out of the bar, but finally most of them were outside and flying away. Valiek sat back down at the bar, a little angry and frustrated.

"I thought you said he would grant my wish!" he complained to the bartender. "I paid him twenty dollars and all I got was mallards!"

The bartender smirked and asked "Well ... what did you ask for?"

Valiek replied, "I asked for a million CB bucks."

The bartender laughed and offered Valiek a beer. "Well, he IS a little deaf... what you got was a million Seabee ducks. You don't really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist, do you?"

Vicious Cat March 11 2006 7:45 AM EST

For sheer entertainment value every BA, I don't think you can do better than a UC minion with VA drawing strength from his weapon :-D


QBJohnnywas March 11 2006 11:07 AM EST

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because Shade had his clothes on.

Why did Shade run away?

Because he was chicken.

QBJohnnywas March 11 2006 11:29 AM EST

Carnage, where everyone knows your name....

GentlemanLoser, Johnnywas and G Beee walk into a bar and each orders a pint of beer. When the drinks arrive they notice that all three pints have a fly in them.

GentlemanLoser just looks at his pint in disgust and pushes it away.

Johnnywaws picks out the fly with his fingers, throws it on the floor and proceeds to drink his beer.

G Beee picks the fly out of his pint, and holds it over the drink saying, "Come on you little git, spit it out!"

Ox [StephenMelinda Gates Fund] March 11 2006 12:15 PM EST

Patti O'Furniture

[Redneck RV] Truc March 11 2006 7:36 PM EST

Jon: "The nerfs will continue until morale improves"

RedWolf March 11 2006 7:53 PM EST

OddBird's Day

QBPit Spawn [Abyssal Specters] March 11 2006 8:16 PM EST

How many Jonathans does it take to change a light-bulb?
One, but he can only do it every other month.
How many Jonathans does it take to change a light-bulb?
One, but only if the bulb is helping Ranger.

[Redneck RV] Truc March 11 2006 8:31 PM EST

How many Todd's does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he quits three times before succeeding.

Then Jonathan puts in a skylight anyway.

RedWolf March 11 2006 8:43 PM EST

Turnip, Glory, and Hakai frequently use the CBette's room to apply make-up, because of course they all want to look stupendous for those muscular tanks.

However, every time th00p, the janitor, comes to clean the place up, he finds several lipstick marks all over the mirror. The first time he chuckles to himself, and cleans them off.

The next day, they were there again. He cleans them off again. After a week or so, th00p gets fed up with this and decides it has to stop.

He contacts Jon, and Jon asks the three girls to meet him in the restroom, with th00p. Jon says, "Ladies, thats cute that you kiss yourselves in the mirror, but it is simply too much work for th00p to clean them off every day. Show them how much effort it takes, th00p."

So th00p nods, takes his mop, dips it in the toilet bowl, and wipes the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lipstick marks on the mirror.

this just in chat recently, almost made me laugh out loud:

<th00p> bah, carnage is incredibly boring
<Mrs_Beee> Told you
<th00p> even with people talking (kinda)
<{CB1}RedWolf> just doesnt have the same aura in there
<InebriatedArsonist> The night shift isn't quite in yet, Thoop.
<Mrs_Beee> I was in for ages and nobody fine said hi
<Mrs_Beee> It was the same 12 hours ago
<[CB2]edyit> no one talks thats why we are here
<th00p> its the same no matter when, unless all of NP migrates there
<{CB1}Lukey> their all like, hmm, the square root of the hypotenus subtract the gliblibator with a nora equals my daily Nw average, blehavien!

AdminG Beee March 11 2006 9:20 PM EST

[Sneeuwwitje] do i sound wierd cause  don't think you guys can hear me.......
[G_Beee]  weird*
* Mrs_Beee falls of chair
[Sneeuwwitje] im confused
* G_Beee picks up wifey
[Sneeuwwitje] you do?
[[CB2]edyit>]uh huh
[[BEGGAR]Skcarkden] i before e except after c
[G_Beee] not in this case
[[BEGGAR]Skcarkden] wierd
[G_Beee] oh dear, we've got a live one here
[[CB2]edyit] i before e except after budweiser

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] March 11 2006 9:51 PM EST

The chief difference between the habitual denizens of New Players and U.S. Savings Bonds?

The bonds will reliably mature.

QBJohnnywas March 12 2006 11:22 AM EST

G Beee, March 12 2006 10:06 AM EST

'No wisecracks folks but I've just reset Yourfather and banned Yourmother.'

Forgive me for being so juvenile, especially on a Sunday but this has to be the best multi post ever!

QBBarzooMonkey March 14 2006 12:24 PM EST

...and the Enchanter replies, "That's not my Wall, it's just a bump".

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] March 14 2006 12:46 PM EST

A Tank walks into a Wall, ouch!

AdminG Beee March 14 2006 2:48 PM EST

Vaynard has joined the room.
[Vaynard> anybody wanna go to carnage and boot a spammer?
[{cb1}PitSpawn> ok
SNK3R left the room.
bartjan left the room.
Vaynard left the room.
{cb1}PitSpawn left the room.
[Destitute_Turnip> Hehe
[Destitute_Turnip> So many ops leave :P
[G_Beee> I'll stay  :)
[Destitute_Turnip> Good :D
[Foolio> lol
{cb1}PitSpawn has joined the room.
- new players: server grants op status to {cb1}PitSpawn
[Destitute_Turnip> Welcome back Pit :)
[{cb1}PitSpawn> spammer in carnage, musta said 2 lines *grins*

ScY March 14 2006 3:08 PM EST

you see, i don't know how neo actually beat all of those smiths.
There were much more than 160, so he must have bought ba i check, there were 827 smiths appearing in that did neo do it
/me goes to ask Jon
<scytale>So Jon, how did neo beat all 827 smiths?
<Jon>well, he made me make him a special account
<scytale> what did you have to do
<Jon> i made it so that he could have a max of 1000 ba
<scytale> whoah!!!!!
<Jon> but don't tell anyone...that would make neo look like less of a fighting god

the next day in room new players.....
<scytale> hey ranger
<ranger> hey all
<scytale> so ranger, did you know that Jon let a character be made with 1000 ba max?
<ranger> impossible!! that will completely undermine the CB system
<Jon> scytale!!!! i told you not to tell anyone
<scytale> sorry
<ranger> well, with the NUB, in 4 months, he will approximatly have 2,238,749 mpr
<scytale> whoah...i could never get that
<ranger> will have to change that
<Jon> omg never omg how could you ask that omg omg oh my god...i am the have 2 choices ranger, you could take the door to the left, in which case the CB will be reset and you will pick 14 female and 7 male to carry on the human race, or you can take the door to your right, to CB's and humanity's doom
<scytale> Jon what are you smoking
<bartjan> PG please scytale, dont make me ask you again
<ranger> that is no choice know what i will do
<ranger> Conquest scratches jon for 30,937,317 damage
<Jon> no0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0ooooo000oo00o0o0o
<scytale> um, guys, look, the bad boys are coming!!!!
<[CB2]edyit> quick, man the battle stations
<scytale> o.O they all have FB!!! noo0ooo....quick, someone get GA!!!
<neo> i will kill them with my uber 1337 BA stores!!!!!
<jon> nope......sorry guys, i am shutting CB2 down
<ranger> nooooo0ooo all of that hard work for nothing!!!
<Jon> sucks for you......oh....and you.....oh...and you
<mantra> sorry, was afk...what's going on?

--------------zzzappp---------CB2 is now over-----------

oh i cant win the joke contest from BarzooMonkey!!!!!!!!!

this all had no point

/me goes to eat a newly caught carp

QBBarzooMonkey March 15 2006 12:47 PM EST

... so the Tank says, "Bump the thread? I don't even know the thread!"

RedWolf March 15 2006 10:35 PM EST

* [CB1]Gun puts a price tag of $1.99 on Serph, buys, breaks, and gets a new tool cuz off the lifetime warrenty which is about equal with paying price

QBOddBird March 15 2006 10:53 PM EST

< InebriatedArsonist > I H4V3 D3C1D3D 7H47 L33t I5 OK |3Y |\/|3!
< Bast > S4M3 H3R3!
< InebriatedArsonist > W00t!
< Bast > S4Y 1T 0U7 L0UD!!1!1!!one

That, in itself, is the ultimate comedy.

QBBarzooMonkey March 16 2006 1:52 PM EST

... and then BarzooMonkey replies, "Skill penalty? I thought it was just a bump".


RAMPAGE March 16 2006 8:22 PM EST

Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?

A: Because when it's time to go back to their childhood, they're
already there!

RedWolf March 16 2006 10:49 PM EST

this is ripped off of aupStar's FCC thread, but it made me laugh out loud so i thought it was worth mentioning here... :-D

Pummel, November 20 2005 4:18 PM EST
*** Now in room carnage
Sparticus left the room.
dudemus left the room.
pull left the room.
Hyrule_Castle left the room.
matteo48 left the room.
Mountain_Man left the room.
Bootsanator left the room.
toad left the room.
dudemus left the room.
Heartless666 has joined the room.
<Pummel> hi
Heartless666 left the room.

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] March 17 2006 11:19 AM EST

I wouldn't say my mage was hot headed but when he gets mad even his friends get burnt.

QBBarzooMonkey March 18 2006 3:46 PM EST

Okay, time for judging now! Here's how this will work:

Over the next 24 hours (or so), I will review all of the entries again, and pick my 5 favorites. Then I will submit my 5 choices via CM to Admin extraordinaire G Beee, who will then turn it into a new poll. Then you will all have the opportunity to vote and pick the winners!

Stay tuned! :)

ps I'm quite disappointed to have to note that extraordinaire doesn't pass spell check..

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] March 18 2006 3:47 PM EST

I was equally disappointed just yesterday, Barzoo. :(
This thread is closed to new posts. However, you are welcome to reference it from a new thread; link this with the html <a href="/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=001jqL">Muwahahahaha! (or, "How I Learned To Laugh At The Carnage")</a>