Word fun. $1,000,000 Prize (in Contests)

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here's a few that I like.

• Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
• Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
• Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
• Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
• Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
• Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
• Flatulence (n.) Emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
• Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
• Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
• Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
• Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
• Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
• Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
• Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
• Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
• Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
• Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
• Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
• Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
• Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
• Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
• Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Feel free to come up with some more folks. If there's some nice entries that I've not heard before I'll maybe make a poll for the community to pick their favourite with the winner receiving a nice prize from my admin char. Oh yeah, keep it clean.

I'm a big fan of "chatiot". Definition is obvious, is it not? ;)

I also like "memote" that is the use of "me" to emote in e-communications. (Or to employ asterisks with reckless abandon! )

chatiot: a chariot pulled by cats?

chatiot: Maelstrom?

Blender - Slender (adj) Rarely seen eating Mcdonalds

Blendantic (adj.): marked by a narrow focus on or display of Carnage Blender learning, especially its trivial aspects

Drawdle (v)- to waste time by doodling in a notebook
Leprechan (n) a short Irish man who is an expert in karate
Dexicon (n) book of computer terms
Locomotion (v) the act of slowly becoming crazy
Manachism (n) secret unseen trust within a species' males I hope that these are worthy of the set standards.

From the web site "Humor Me Online"
Some Non-PG (and very funny) entries deleted

Tweak Of The Week LXXX: Defining Moment II
(Updated 19 Oct 03)

Last time around we had asked you to take an actual word, then only adding, subtracting or changing one letter, come up with a whole new word and a definition based on it. We had a bunch of good ones in my opinion and it took a while to come up with the overall winner, as quite a few were in contention.

Wingspan -- Windspan: the maximum radial distance that any one specific release of passed gas expands outwardly to before the smell becomes undetectable.

Heinie -- Sheinie: The appearance of your boss's backside after three years of trying to impress. The third stage after butt-kissing and brown-nosing.

Bling Bling -- Blang Blang: J-Lo's engagement ring...Past tense?

Gesticulate -- Jesticulate: What a class clown would do to draw attention to himself back in feudal times.
Surname -- Slurname: Every politician has one

Namesake -- Namesafe: Term for checking the status of an Internet domain name you wish to register and discovering that it's available.

Electorate -- Erectorate: California voters who are voting for porn actress, Mary Carey.

Recall -- Precall: A political "testing the water" before formally announcing one's legal overthrow of an elected office.

Science -- Scilence: The way a politician reacts when you explain a difficult environmental concept to him.

Leftovers -- Deftovers: The art of making food a day old taste really good.

Disgusting -- Disguesting: Term for the type of behavior on the host's part that makes all the guests want to leave.

Interlock -- Interclock: The point in a relationship in which the woman demands a commitment based solely on the drying up of her eggs.

Governor -- Governot: Gray Davis' new title as of the election.

Computer -- Conputer: The source of all those Nigerian email scams.

Relationship -- Relationslip: Behavior that results in marital discord.

Mammaries -- Memmaries: Trying to remember what they were like before they sagged to belt-high.

Religion -- Meligion: The ability to worship ones self.

Ubiquitous -- WBiquitous: In which the same stupid programming ideas are all over a TV network's schedule.

Humor -- Humore: When one thing is funnier than an other.

Calamari - Callamari: Phoning in an order for sushi.

Our runner-up, who will receive an origami creation of their choice (from our extensive list)...

Phlebitis -- Plebitis: Freshman at the US Naval Academy are inflamed by the vain behavior of upperclassmen who are always trying to get a leg up on them.

The winner...who wins that little stuffed "Get Well" bear...

Quandary -- Quandairy: Being perplexed at what kind of milk to buy.



Tweak Of The Week
(updated 20 Jan 02)

Tweak of the Week IV: Defining Moment

Well you guys did such a brilliant job of coming up with submissions to this contest, we will definitely have to bring this one back again in the future...and if you don't start coming up with more briliant contest ideas, that future just might be sooner than you think. ;) You were tasked to take an actual word from the dictionary and by adding/subtracting/or changing only one letter, come up with an entirely new word and definition.

Cartoon -- Cattoon: Early animation (see Felix the Cat).

Mimicking -- Momicking: Doing an imitation of your mother.

Orgasm -- Borgasm: She's faking it.

Cooking -- Kooking: Being crazy enough to think that you can prepare meals every day without going stark raving mad.

Address -- Maddress: Where you live when you've broken up with your significant other.

Radical -- Gradical: A graduate of the University of Berkeley.

Testicles --Testiclees: Ancient Roman God of nuts.

Poltergeist -- Polterheist: Robbery committed by prankish ghosts.

Diaphanous -- Daphanous: Allowing the ghost or monster to get away by falling through a trapdoor.

Literature -- Litterature: What's in the wastebaskets at the library.

Syphilis -- Symphilis: A venereal disease commonly contracted by orchestra conductors.

Amnesia -- Hamnesia: Forgetting where you left your pig.

Backwards -- Backwords: How dyslexic kids write.

Careless -- Carless: End result of unsafe driving.

Masturbate -- Pasturbate: That moment just after ejaculation.

Flamboyant -- Clamboyant: Having a personality as outgoing as a mollusk.

Martyr -- Fartyr: Someone who lets 'em rip for a cause.

Herpes -- Sherpes: Disease you get from having sex with guides on Mt Everest.

Seeing as we had such a difficult decision on who should win this contest, we decided to just break the pencil in half...

Shakespeare -- Snakespeare: The writer of plays such as "Asp You Like It," "The Merchant of Venom," and "The Comedy of Adders."

You should look up "The Meaning of Liff" by the late, great Douglas Adams, who took obscure British place names and appropriated them for things we don't have the words for...

Shoeburyness
The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom.

Farnham
The feeling you get about four o'clock in the afternoon when you
haven't got enough done.

Goole
The puddle on the bar into which the barman puts your change.

or Droitwich-that awkward situation on the street where you almost walk into someone and you both keep moving in the same direction to get out of the way.

Droitwich (n.)
A street dance. The two partners approach from opposite directions and try politely to get out of each other's way. They step to the left, step to the right, apologise, step to the left again, apologise again, bump into each other and repeat as often as unnecessary.

So, I didn't write it perfectly, I don't exactly have a copy on hand right now :)

Walmartians: Americans who gets all their food, entertainment, culture and clothing at Walmart.

*Thanks, Henry!

Americans have culture?

None that can be found at Walmart.

wow I am surprised Rampage's entry is considered PG.

I'm surprised that Bast posted 'Americans who gets'

Dramoron: All the drama, all the stupidity.

Carnage Blunder: When you accidentally sell a rare to the store, untrain XP by mistake, or try to get Jon to change his mind

Thanks for bringing this thread back to life Bast, I'd forgotten about it. I'll get the ball rolling and put 250k into the pot. If we have a few more entries I'll make a little poll for us to choose our favourite.
Given that there's cash at stake I may as well make it a little more formal. With that in mind, there's only one rule you have to follow for your entry to be considered.

Quote a word I can find in the dictionary (or a CB related term such as Stephen has used), alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Carnag Blender (n): The Blender prone to whinging on, usually in the forums -- first it's too easy, then it's too hard, it's too boring, then there are too many changes, there aren't enough incentives, then there are too many bonuses, people are interruptive of Glory's thread, then there isn't enough freedom, the admins pay no attention, the admins pay too much attention, there's never fairness, then there's never fairness, etc.

Tel-e-phobe

n.

Fear of or contempt for electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds, "The telephobe was locked inside a telephone booth."

Carnage --> Carnag: Female vehicular passenger.

GentlemanLover

Someone who gets overly familiar with game players of the same gender whilst smothered in grease and smelling of beer.

Darnage Blender

n.

A free text-based multiplayer strategy RPG, revolving around the 'express dissatisfaction or annoyance' system.

Grimmar.

Poor speech and writing skills in chat before Bast goes to work.

Longuage. The art of speaking as though you have swallowed a dictionary.

Heavy Cross Boy.

Well, wouldn't you be if somebody picked you up and tried to fire a bolt from your forehead?

Carnage Blinder - A device worn by individuals who believe that a "rough patch" signals the end of the game, so that they cannot be swayed from this misguided thought.

We've also forgotten Carnage Blonder, that cute but dumb game that everyone has played once before moving on to much more in depth and intelligent gaming.

Carpage Blender - the practice of using a large fish to swat the Carnage Blinder off of an individual

Stratedgy. The feeling that you get as changemonth approaches and you wonder what Jon is going to nerf next.

Bast --> Baste: to cover with liquid before cooking the illiterate

Gista the female part of some subject or topic

Carnage Blander: A new player who starts a NUB character, copies a top strategy, doesn't chat, doesn't post in the forums, plays for four months and then sells out for USD.

(I think that's all the vowel changes covered! ;))

projection (v): The act of making projects.
novice (adj.): to be without defects.
recording (v): a regression from the wireless movement.

Cone of Cod: The canonical chat put down. Chagrin is spread equally among its targets; if less than 5 targets are present, chagrin is correspondingly greater.

Johnnywas (n): The artist formerly known as Johnny.
th00p (n): The sound one makes when hitting a ski ramp.
SNK3R: The world may never know.

Cornage Blender: The art of battling with farm crop.

Didn't read the part where I could change one letter. :P

Safton (n): large quantities of saffron.
O Beee (n): The future identity of OddBird.

Unaimed Combat - The pressing of two buttons in sequential order in the hope that a decent strat will present itself in the future.

Bimp (n) : Forum bump - feminine

Gestax (n.): A tax for mouse-gestures

G Bees (n.): familiar-like stinging insects that can be used as ammo

Johnnywad: What's left after compressing Johnnywas into a football of human flesh!

Veriflex: Aerobics done in computer seats. Mainly used by programmers who want to exercise while working on that last couple of lines of code.

Tulwas: Remembering the useless Tulwar after Jon finally removes it from CB2. :)

Carnage Flender (n.): A very religious game. Each player has to press down-enter-down-enter to pray to god as much as possible. Originally invented in Springfield 1834.

Buckler of Mandys: Small hand held shield made of essex girls stuck together with insta-tan lotion. :)

GentlemanLoser (Chosen of Endings) 81.76.109.166 G Beee (Admin_Beee) $250000 -- for contest 3:32 PM EST

Pot now 500k. Thanks GL.

Carmage Blender - A game where mages are finally given the transportation that is needed to keep up with all the high dex tanks.

Mailstrom: The flurry of complaints and worry that accompanies details of a private CM being posted publically in the Forums! ;)

Contest will end tomorrow once Sutekh let's me know his favourite entries. I'll put them in a poll and let the community in general decide from there.

Just off the top of my head.

Nefarious -> Nerfarious (adj) The condition of being very sneaky and deadly with a foam dart gun.

Restroom -> Bestroom (n) The only stall that seems safe to use.

Candid -> Candaid (n) A self-adhesive bandage for covering up the truth.

(and a CB related one..)

Cornuthaum -> Cornuthum (n) What you get after playing Nintendo for too long.

serentipity: When a waiter unexpectedly discovers last nights gratuities in his jacket pocket.

Cloak of the Pistari: Makes you impervious to the common sense that should prevail against you posting when drunk. GL always wears his on a night out.

RamMage: No run over a magic user with a Dodge truck.

Morgul C. Hammer - a weapon that just can't be touched.

Wombat Gi - Armor made from the fur of large, burrowing marsupials native to Tasmania. About as useful as a Double Chain Mail.

Changehog - one who posts far too many replies in a changelog thread.

Rouble Chain Mail: Its true value

Opps! Lets try this again before Bast catches it.

RamMage: To run over a magic user with a Dodge truck.

Hard Leather Cop - Currently on tour as a member of the reunited Village People.

A Pair of Pleather Boots- a designer knock off usually worn by tanks in debt.

RAMPAGE (Bank of Rampage) 24.147.88.197 G Beee (Admin_Beee) $500000 -- For Contest April 1 2006 7:11 PM EST

Pot now $1m. Thanks Rampage :)

Contests - Contest (adj) , The final exam for becoming a con man/woman.

Borganism - Single-celled cyborg, creates armies of other cyborgs through meiosis.

Zoglog is extremely appalled that the word meiosis is not in the spellchecker.

Blast (n.): An explosion of grammatical and spelling corrections.
G_Blee (n.): A form of unarmed combat, which focuses on the 'kick, reset and ban' technique.
Phantom Ink (n.): Specialised ink which transfers what is written to a page somewhere else.
Elvis Boots (n.): Footwear which increases DX, as well as gives you the special Elvis-like dance powers.

e-moshing - The art of jumping up and down to music using your online avatar.

ROFL! oh man, Blast and G_Bleee are incredible!

Codd - A fish which gives up trying to swim upstream several times before eventually dying.

Contest and thread closed to new entries.

I'll make a poll using the entries sutekh and I liked best soon :)

Poll options are:

--

rufen, March 17 2006 7:15 PM EST
Dexicon (n) book of computer terms

Carbonize, March 31 2006 7:06 AM EST
Tel-e-phobe (n) Fear of or contempt for electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds, "The telephobe was locked inside a telephone booth."

Johnnywas, March 31 2006 7:33 AM EST
Longuage. The art of speaking as though you have swallowed a dictionary.

Vicious Cat, April 1 2006 4:48 AM EST
Unaimed Combat - The pressing of two buttons in sequential order in the hope that a decent strat will present itself in the future.

Sacredpeanut, April 1 2006 8:24 PM EST
Changehog - one who posts far too many replies in a changelog thread.

Johnnywas, March 31 2006 8:39 AM EST
Stratedgy. The feeling that you get as changemonth approaches and you wonder what Jon is going to nerf next.

Poll results are in with Stratedgy being a clear winner for Johnnywas.

Well done!
G Beee (Admin_Beee) 164.129.1.39 Johnnywas (Jack Crow) $1000000 -- see /bboard..001kJn 7:36 AM EDT

Thread opened again just in case anyone wants to continue adding words for entertainment purposes only :)

I'm rich I tell you rich!


Thanks Mr Beee, I thoroughly enjoyed that!

Beers are on you!

Congratulations! :D

Tockle. To make somebody laugh so much they fall over.

Begenerates: Beee and his vile little band of cohorts.

Congrats Johnny!
If the beers are truly "on" you, be careful not to tip any over!

Oh, and I'll collect my tithe from that 1mil now... ;)

:D I'm a cohort!

Do we get catch phrases and costumes?

Oogle Image(s) -- The naughty option(s) ogled after using Google Image on perfectly benign words. A pastime of Begenerates.

*Oogles Bast*

So I've heard.

Glecher: As a lecher, see Begenerate.

Pichachu: Pi Pi: Pichachu

Vexploration- What Christopher Columbus felt when he was lost. Diptator- A spicy spud with WMD dipping sauce. Screenspot- The one piece of dust that you can never remove from your monitor. Just a few more to add as entertainment. Hope you like them.

Rendition --> Pendition: Bast's antiseptic term for her practice of sending captured terrorist suspects to other countries for English lessons.

(Not "other countries" generically -- The Netherlands, specifically.)

Generation -> Genderation: During a shortage of one gender the opposite gender are given a limit to how many they can see in one week.