Evil Disposition (in Off-topic)

BootyGod November 27 2006 6:22 PM EST

More personal stuff. I posting it here because I value your (yes you, complete stranger that you are) opinion more then my friends. Says alot about my friendships, I know. But, enough about that.

Think on every movie you have ever watched, every book, every anything that had some sort of plot. Most of them had an "evil" character.

Now, think of that character when they were 18 years old. You think they already knew that were going to be evil? The person that was going to have to be stopped by the good guy? When do you think it settled into their mind that they weren't destined to save the world, but destroy it? Did they fight against their nature?

Now, picture yourself (seriously) as being the evil one. The one who relishes others pain. I don't mean you playing on a game, or trying to be cool. I mean confronting the fact that your nature is just cruel.

So, what this thread is about.

I think I may be like that. I think about my political, religious, and social stances and, to put it simply, I ain't no Gandhi. It kind of scares me. I think, like most people, I always thought I would be a good person. I would try to help the world.

I still intend to help the world, but how I may go about doing it scares me. I realize I don't value the individual's life enough, despite the fact that I know I should and I try to. I don't feel the pain of others when I should.

So, the reason I posting this, is because I want some feedback. I don't care what it is. Make me laugh or something. I don't want to feel like crap anymore.

So, why do I tell you all and not a friend? Because, if I am evil and try to take over the world, none of you know the real me and won't be able to stop me. Small insurance policy there.

Just, am I crazy?

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] November 27 2006 6:23 PM EST

Empathy is the only thing that matters, try harder...

Xenko November 27 2006 6:44 PM EST

Free will is an illusion. Every decision, every emotion, and every action you take is merely the result of your body responding in a pre-defined manner to certain biochemical signals over which you have no specific knowledge nor control. Basically, your life is out of your hands. Enjoy it as best as you can.

BootyGod November 27 2006 6:51 PM EST

So, basically, incorporate empathy into my robot existense? Sounds effective...

QBJohnnywas November 27 2006 7:00 PM EST

The fact that you're questioning it suggests you're not evil. Unfortunately that also suggests that you are simply human. People are light and dark, good and evil. Some people blur into shades of grey, which is probably worse. I've done things in my life that I'm ashamed of, then there are things that I regret, then come things I've done that I'm not proud of but I'm not sorry about. Then there are things that make me feel really good about myself.

Some people are probably born more evil than good, twisted in some way that has nothing to do with anything else. Some people end up in circumstances beyond their control and get taken by life down the wrong path. Most people are capable of very dark things but what stops them is the good side of humanity.

You're not crazy. You're probably not evil (I'll reserve judgement on that one until I've seen the news tomorrow). And, without meaning to be patronising or condescending, from my not very enlightened position of a ripe old age of 37, you sound like me at the age of 18. Which was like a lot of people at the age of 18. The bad news is, if you're feeling like that now you will probably still feel like that at 37. Lol. That's really cheered you up hasn't it? ;)

Slashundhack [We Forge Our Own Stuff] November 27 2006 7:02 PM EST

There's a lot of people in this world that think they are major bad asses. The way I see it most are just average people concerned with their own survival and finding some comfort in life.Try getting a woman even if you have to rent or maybe a little Prozac.Anyway do something about this depression . Sorry this ain't P.C. but I think it needed to be said plain.

QBJohnnywas November 27 2006 7:07 PM EST

Alternatively you could embrace the darkness. After all, Darth Vader was a lot more cool once he put on the mask....

On a more serious note; not feeling other peoples pain is not always the failing that it may seem. The brain, the heart, the soul if you like is built in such a way that full empathy is not felt. Too much feeling for the plight of others can be as damaging to you as being too self absorbed. If you felt the pain of the world all the time you would probably find yourself going a little mad.

Do little things. Personally I think a hundred little acts of good and kindness add up to far more than one big thing.

But if you do take over the world can you make sure I get a day off work that day?

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] November 27 2006 7:21 PM EST

Seriously. If only Americans could legally drink at 18. Would solve a lot of problems...

But anyway, it's not about guilt or conscience. It's about knowing right from wrong, and not acting on what is 'wrong'. People usually do this because you get punished.

Guilt and conscience are just forms of self punishment for doing wrong.

It sounds like you don't feel much of either. In that case, you've only got outside punshiments (from friends and family, or Law enforcement, if it goes that far) to fear you from diverging fromt he striaght and narrow.

End of the day, as long as you can determin the difference between right and wrong, it's your choice, live with it.

Eurynome Bartleby [Bartleby's] November 27 2006 7:34 PM EST

I regretfully have to agree with you Kultur, as I think pretty much everything we do is dictated by instinct. The nihilistic (if that is how you write that lol) part of my mind tells me that. Evil and good? Dunno.

But then again, it depends on my mood, tomorrow I may get to think there is something else inside of us, you know, like, a defining factor?

Something like a soul maybe.

Survival instinct is what makes our brains fight to repel that idea that we are just as stupid and empty as computers, because if we had that principle implanted inside us as a fact, we would just become completely crazy.

Moral of my rant: Life as we know it is completely futile, I think, and we are protected from this perspective by instinct.

Emotions, our daily lives, CB even, and everything we do and think will be void to me until proven wrong. At least that is what my logical side has to say about life.

The unlogical side however, the one who feels things, does not agree. If I really thought all I said above was true, would I even be here writing all this down? Nope.

If you were an Evil bastard, would you care to even TRY being un-evil? Would you feel bad about being evil?


It's all a matter of chemical balance in the brain. Happiness, or this 'unnamed feeling' of yours lately. I don't think you are crazy, just normal. Good and evil, does it mean anything? Some day it does, some other it does not. Changing, like...humm...let's be disgustingly poetic...like the wind. Like people. Like you.

There will be better days. Will you be evil then, or good?
Are you now?

You decide. Nobody can answer these questions of yours i'm afraid.
We can debate them, but ultimately, you gotta answer them alone.

Such is the cruel task of life, but, you know, whatever you do to get there, to answer all that, I am sure it's all worth it in the end.

Why? Dunno. Something tells me that.

Cheers people!

TBH never enough gabber November 27 2006 8:23 PM EST

i understand how you feel and how you are, you need to accept who you are.

and all you people writing happy go lucky "empathy is the way" "try harder to be good"

go sit and spin

"the world is your oyster, smash it"

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] November 27 2006 8:28 PM EST

wow, I'm happy go lucky...that is really really depressing.

AdminQBVerifex [Serenity In Chaos] November 27 2006 11:18 PM EST

Oleander, I think this may be a cry for help. You did it in a previous thread when you were talking about everything being crappy and so forth. I would seriously try and find some more positive people to be around. I know when I'm around negativity, and I just let it all soak in, that I start feeling helpless and depressed. So chances are very good that you are either A) lonely, or B) around negativity, or C) way into that goth pessimism crap.

And in all of those cases, the solution would be to find some more positive people to be around, that can be hard, so it's good that you are reaching out to us for help. :)

QBOddBird November 27 2006 11:24 PM EST

I can't find any possible way to agree with you, Kultur.

When a mother throws herself in harm's way to save her child, is that self-preservation, our most basic instinct?

When a soldier saves his platoon by giving his life to cover for them, how can that be the result of simply instinct?

There's DEFINITELY something more. There's a human nature, and it differs from person to person.

I would write more, but the fact that I go to church causes Oleander to believe I am incapable of arguing a rational point. Guess I shouldn't have given over the fact that I'm Christian. =P

Silly stereotypes

Continuum November 28 2006 3:15 AM EST

Perhaps I should give you the number of a good therapist =P

Wasp November 28 2006 3:34 AM EST

Verifex does have a good point. If you are surrounded by people who are say depressed and unhappy then it rubs off onto you.

What do you do in your spare time? Do you go out with friends? Stay at home and listen to music? Go to Church even?

Doing some sort of hobby in free time can always help, especially if it involves meeting new people. Have you tried joining clubs or activity groups? People who have feelings like this are usually in a vicious circle, those who can break free of it can finally let go and start enjoying the nicer things of life.

What you have to do is to try and evaluate what you do and how. Can a little change make a big difference? Instead of taking the bus to work, why not walk? Instead of getting a burger for lunch, get a sandwich with a fruit salad. Yes, even your diet can determine your mood. Maybe your diet is even a cause of the problem (or something that doesn't help the problem). Small things like arguing or bickering with people can make a big difference to your overall mood. If you are very opinionated, try to let that go for a day, and agree with other people and what they have to say without 'disagreeing'. Little changes such as that can make a big impact. Whats your sleeping pattern like? Do you go to bed late and wake up late? Why not do the opposite, go to bed early and wake up early. Enjoy the morning, its great.

Darth vadar saw the light in the end. Most villans do. (Not calling you a villan of course :P )

QBJohnnywas November 28 2006 4:32 AM EST

Sorry I'm finding it hard to accept Novice as happy go lucky without laughing my head off. Sorry, Nov, but that is really really funny...


QBBast [Hidden Agenda] November 28 2006 5:21 AM EST

And you aren't laughing over Wasp advocating mild-mannered, non-argumentative interactions? ;)

QBJohnnywas November 28 2006 5:35 AM EST

That one just plain confused me.

AdminG Beee November 28 2006 5:41 AM EST

I'm voting for not evil, just 18 with a large chunk of crazy thrown in...

IndependenZ November 28 2006 5:43 AM EST

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of dirt
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

AdminG Beee November 28 2006 5:45 AM EST

I love that film !!

BootyGod November 28 2006 10:24 AM EST

Wow, very interesting responses. So instead of being a jerk, I try my best to use them.

First of all though, I am 17. I used 18 because I figured its a more stereotypical age.

Second, I do look on the bright side of things as often as I can remind myself to do so. The problem is, is it good to have to force myself to try to be nice? I will, but... it scares me the comments I always am ready with are bad.

Oh, and yes. This is 100% a cry for help. I am using the community to not go insane. Can't get any more honest with you all then that.

But I try (for today) to not think bad thoughts. Wish me luck.

Eurynome Bartleby [Bartleby's] November 28 2006 10:33 AM EST

Good luck. Honestly.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] November 28 2006 10:59 AM EST

I blame the woman I met recently JW...either that or the new kitten.
It's getting harder to be grump. BTW I don't think there is anything sappy
about Empathy. The simple act of attempting to understand the emotions and thoughts of your fellows can open up a world of compassion, joy, and confusion...All the greatest leaders of the world were fans, as was Vito Corleone, you gonna tell me that the Godfather was Happy go lucky?

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] November 28 2006 11:31 AM EST

Tell us about the woman, Nov! (This is on-topic in as much as GW's "happy things" post included no mention of all things related to such entanglements! Also there's just no reason to open a separate thread for it.) Are you smitten? Did she smite you?

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] November 28 2006 11:38 AM EST

She should have...

We'll see Bast I'm no longer one for counting chickens...

AdminG Beee November 28 2006 11:41 AM EST

You've stopped counting...!?

Wow, if wifey found out I'd even started counting the chicks before we met I'd have been in all sorts of trouble.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] November 28 2006 11:52 AM EST

you two need to be hosed down...

QBJohnnywas November 28 2006 11:59 AM EST

Hello? Did Nov mention a woman? (giant radar screens pop out of the top of my head; somewhere there is the sound of submarine sonar ping; maybe not...)

What does she do? What does she look like? Does she like cats? How does she feel about the state of seekers and ex shots?

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] November 28 2006 12:00 PM EST

oh bother...

*wanders outside with the kitten that smells like purrfume*

AdminG Beee November 28 2006 12:01 PM EST

Can we expect a "Same IP" post sometime in the near future?

QBJohnnywas November 28 2006 12:01 PM EST

Oh and Corleone was very happy go lucky. When he was on his own...he liked to skip. And sing nursery rhymes.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] November 28 2006 12:02 PM EST

*the cat stinks because my sister was over visiting and she wears inordinate amounts of foof...nothing to do with anything about anything you three are thinking...

QBJohnnywas November 28 2006 12:03 PM EST


AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] November 28 2006 12:03 PM EST

No one saw me skipping, you can't prove anything, I hope you all get rained on today and splashed by a puddle.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] November 28 2006 12:07 PM EST

I hope so, too! Speaking for myself, of course, as I've no idea if Beee and JW play in the rain and splash in puddles. Does your new chica play in the rain? Trample the neighbors' flower beds by moonlight?

(You let your sister stink up your cat?)

QBJohnnywas November 28 2006 12:10 PM EST

ah, one of my favourite things in the city, is walking out after a spring shower with the smell of wet paving stones in the air. Jumping in puddles in London, however, is probably not the wisest thing to do. You can't trust it to be rain.


AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] November 28 2006 3:04 PM EST

I play in the rain and jump in puddles, naked. ;)

When do we get to meet your new woman Nov? ;)

QBJohnnywas November 28 2006 3:29 PM EST

ah no, that's not a good image in my head. No, it really isn't. No.

AdminShade November 28 2006 3:29 PM EST

Why not lawful evil? :p

BootyGod November 28 2006 3:50 PM EST

WHAT THE HECK? Whats the point of being lawful evil? That's like being hot ice cream. Just nasty.

Don't insult me.

And thanks Bast, for bringing EVERYONE off topic. Very helpful... granted... was kind of funny.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] November 28 2006 3:58 PM EST

And so ends our brief tutorial on how to just have some fun, for pity's sake.

QBBarzooMonkey November 28 2006 3:58 PM EST

The point of being Lawful Evil is that as long as one weaves their wickedness within the confines of written law, one is less likely to get caught, and more likely to be successful at it.

"They'll never see us coming!"

BootyGod November 28 2006 4:01 PM EST

No. Thats an illusion. Being lawful just makes people think your good. The problem is, when they break your illusion, your out of lucj and easily found.

QBBarzooMonkey November 28 2006 4:06 PM EST

But if one is really, really good at it, the illusion is never broken. And maintaining that illusion whilst "getting away with it" is the point.


BootyGod November 28 2006 4:08 PM EST


AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] November 29 2006 3:15 AM EST

Unless you belive in the existance of 'Universal Truths', good and evil are defined by society. No more, no less.
This thread is closed to new posts. However, you are welcome to reference it from a new thread; link this with the html <a href="/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=001xhi">Evil Disposition</a>