Stupidity in great form (in Off-topic)


Flamey November 14 2007 1:05 AM EST

Only in America!!
or coming to a courthouse near you?

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards.

The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds.

That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.> >> >

Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question



THE AWARDS ARE:

5th place (Tied).
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict... considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's Son!

5th place (Tied).
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord...
Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage.
He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
The family were on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days.
He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food.
He sued the houseowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place.
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses
after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog...
The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time
as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500
after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).
The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place.
Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth.
This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to crawl through the window in
the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.
She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place.
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home.
On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the Freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.
Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him that in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this.
The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home.
The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

Khardin November 14 2007 1:12 AM EST

Those are all fake.

Flamey November 14 2007 1:16 AM EST

Wreck my fun. :(

Hyrule Castle November 14 2007 1:19 AM EST

i wouldn't doubt somethin dumb like that would happen though...

Khardin November 14 2007 1:21 AM EST

It's the fact driven monster inside of me placed there by years of public school forcing me to take "tests".

hmm.. I feel a lawsuit coming on...

j'bob November 14 2007 2:23 AM EST

Upon reading the original post I promptly printed out a copy and showed all my friends. I was discovered that the information was fake and I am now the subject of ridicule to no end.
I am formally filing a law suit against Flamey for ruining my character by arming me with mis information.
I would like an amount in excess of 20 mil CB2 $'s.

Thank you for your attention.

CC Law firm of Dewey Cheatem and Howe

Wasp [Demon Forging] November 14 2007 2:44 AM EST

Im sueing you Flamey for mis-interpreting the truth and wasting a few minutes of my life. The fee is a realistic 100k for a settlement outside the administrative court.

j'bob November 14 2007 2:48 AM EST

Hmm, I smell a Class Action Lawsuit coming on. Brace yourself Flamey, it's gonna be a long ride.
We will need a full disclosure of all your assets and NW.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Brakke Bres [Ow man] November 14 2007 7:22 AM EST

If this was true I couldn't believe the stupidity of the American law system, but if this is a prank it made me laugh :)
Jeesz I break in in your house, you knock the teeth out of me and I can sue you for doing that :) lol

QBRanger November 14 2007 9:18 AM EST

Darn,

I hoped these to be true to give me more reason to hate lawyers.

Getting sued for something one does not do is quite a stressful thing.

Yukk November 14 2007 9:55 AM EST

Just so we can all see that these are not entirely outside the realm of possibility in an American court somewhere, here is the latest example from Stella.
I'm sure everyone has heard about the lawyer who sued the dry cleaners for over $65M because they lost a pair of his pants for 1 day.

QBRanger November 14 2007 10:11 AM EST

Yes,

And that lawyer who sued lost his case. In fact the judge on that case highly ridiculed this lawyer for even bringing this case to trial.

But, as great as the American's justice system is, he is going to appeal.

Now the dry cleaners had to sell their business and are apparently going to move back home, to Asia.

This crap would stop if we implemented the English Rule of tort reform. But the trial lawyers (scum they are) would have none of it.

English Rule: Loser pays winners legal fees. This would stop most frivolous lawsuits such as the one above. There are plenty arguments for and against such a system, but overall it is the best way to keep stupid lawsuits from clogging the legal system.
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