where a list of things never to say to women was posted, 50k reward, im in need of a good laugh, and its not list i posted neither.
no, its older and its cleaner. stuff like 'you have too many shoes, you have too many clothes, dont ask us a question you dont want the answer to...'
Bah. Nevermind. I didn't look at the author. I'll try again.
How about this one?
They are down a bit. I have a feeling it's the wrong one, but it's really funny and you said you needed a laugh anyway, hehe
no but youre a good sport i found it...
Marlfox February 13 2008 4:12 PM EST
Found this on a forum; they told me to spread it around, and like a blind idiot I did. ;)
They are all numbered 1. on purpose.
This is basically life, through mens point of view. Enjoy!
P.S It's talking to women, btw.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the
Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
That's actually in the second one I linked to...
You have to scroll down... But I'm glad you found it ^_^
Hah, I remember posting that.
February 9 2009 10:25 PM EST
/me laughs the whole way through reading this.
February 9 2009 11:27 PM EST
I know this is just me being idealistic, but I get sad that women don't know these things already. We are INFINITELY the easier sex to understand.
Crying is blackmail.
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