Zombie Survival Plan (in Off-topic)

SimplyNic April 29 2009 3:46 PM EDT

Quick! The dreaded (or funnest) state of the apocalypse has come! Zombies have risen from their graves and are talking over the earth! There's no time to think! They're coming from over here, there coming from over there! Zombies are everywhere, ho no!!!

Before its too late, what method(s) would you use to survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

AdminTitan [The Sky Forge] April 29 2009 3:47 PM EDT

Take the skills that I have obtained from L4D and FO3 and own some zombies.

Lord Bob April 29 2009 3:47 PM EDT

"Before its too late, what method(s) would you use to survive the Zombie Apocalypse?"

Guns. Lots of guns.

QBRanger April 29 2009 3:49 PM EDT

Shotgun and Duct Tape.

With them anything can be done.

bartjan April 29 2009 3:52 PM EDT

The Zombie Survival Guide

SimplyNic April 29 2009 3:55 PM EDT

>:( They came up with a book for that?! Well there goes my idea -,-...

Lord Bob April 29 2009 3:59 PM EDT

"The Zombie Survival Guide"

I almost bought that once.

Admin{CB1}Slayer333 [SHIELD] April 29 2009 4:00 PM EDT

Head to the nearest shopping mall.

{Wookie}-Jir.Vr- April 29 2009 4:04 PM EDT

I had an interesting argument with a friend of mine about almost this exact topic.

We started off discussing who would win between KNIGHT / PIRATE on deadliest warrior (Pirate winning was just for ratings, anyone with half a brain would know the Knight would win any day of the week, the way the pirate won was complete garbage)

Anyways then we got talking about what we would do in a post apocalyptic world. Which turned into a zombie post apocalyptic world.

When prompted I replied the very first Item I would take before anything else was my Katana. He argued that guns would be more important, and my response was quite simply, "What about when you run out of ammunition?" To which he had no real answer. The truth is, the ammo would go very fast. Arguably within the first week or two. Not that I wouldn't opt for guns, but I would make damn sure I had my katana handy when the time came.

Then it came down to who you would want to be "stuck" with in your entourage. He said a marine or a special op. While I agreed that would be a very good person to be with, I would want to be with someone highly trained in REAL martial arts. Such as going with my Katana, someone highly trained in the way of the sword / bow

My argument still holds that once all the ammunition is gone, that person would be your best bet for survival. (or their survival, and as I'm a katana wielding mad-man who trains twice a week on perfecting my skills (which isn't really THAT much, but considering how much free time I really have... it's all I can manage)

Then the argument shifted a little bit but my argument held true. I would rather be with someone of Musashi's sword skills (see samurai) maybe better bathing habits but meh.

Which is why I started learning how to actually use my katana as opposed to having one sitting on top of the t.v. like most people.


Adminedyit [Superheros] April 29 2009 4:05 PM EDT

i did buy that book, it's a good read actually if you take it for what it is.

QBRanger April 29 2009 4:32 PM EDT

All one has to do is break into a sporting goods store and stock up on ammo/guns.

Your not going to kill all the Zombies out there. Just those that are a danger to you.

I doubt ammo will be a problem. Unless you get caught without the chance to get some. In which case, your likely toast anyway.

The Old Gods April 29 2009 4:33 PM EDT

world war z is an awesome read. it details how people and countries would react if zombies really did take over the earth

j'bob April 29 2009 5:49 PM EDT

I highly respect anyones discipline in regards to their hand to hand or "sword to hand" combat... but...

if you have to wait to let the enemy (zombies in this case) get within swords length before you can eliminate the threat, well, IMVHO, that's just too close.

Firearms and ammo. Long gun preferably but even a high quality hand gun with a respectable magazine will do.
Even now first choice would still be one of Beretta's xtrema2 models.
There really is an awful lot of ammo out there.
heh heh

BadFish April 29 2009 5:51 PM EDT

I would be the evil mastermind manipulating the zombies from behind the scenes, so I don't think I'd have much of a problem.

PoisoN April 29 2009 6:02 PM EDT

Why survive? Burn a last set of BA and join the undead army.

QBOddBird April 29 2009 6:14 PM EDT

Answer: I live in Alabama. This is the one state, Texas aside, that zombies could not overrun.

three4thsforsaken April 29 2009 6:24 PM EDT


Eurynome Bartleby [Bartleby's] April 29 2009 6:29 PM EDT

I'd have to go much too far for a gun...Heck, I wouldn't even know where to look for one.

Best plan would be to get on a nearby overpass, and hope for the best...maybe close it off with cars. I'd never be able to fend off the neighboors to get in a mall anyway. I guess I could find gasoline in the house, so that may help make a fire barrier in cas of a large attack.

About that overpass though, I'm not even sure i'd be able to get to it. A butcher knife is the deadliest weapon in here.

Okay, I'd totally be screwed. This is the ONLY situation where I'd like to own guns :)

Mesoshort April 29 2009 6:34 PM EDT

Jiraiya, your post has me rolling, that you actually had an argument about your Z-day.
My plan? Eh, why fight? Fog comes in on little cat feet, why not death comes in on nasty zombie noms?

Admiralkiller [Cult of the Valaraukar] April 29 2009 6:46 PM EDT

I would go to a tower...like the CN tower or The one in Seattle or maybe the one in my city. the Calgary tower....1 way up 1 way down..stock up on food and destroy the elevator. Can't climb a surface with no foot holds. It would be boring and i might jump after a few years....but...but if a brought a lap top perhaps i could still play CB.

j'bob April 29 2009 7:02 PM EDT

Okies, well, this thread can now be closed. See, I've just sent Goodfish a LOT of money to strangle Badfish in his sleep.
Take out the leader and the rest of the dominoes just lay right down.

No really, you're all welcome. It was the least I could do to ensure our survival... not that the Earth couldn't use a bit of genetic cleansing from where I sit right now, but that's a story for another day.

j'bob (The Crow) Goodfish (Veil of Maya) $197 -- blood money! 7:00 PM EDT

QBOddBird April 29 2009 7:06 PM EDT


Just break off the leg of a chair. ;D It'll suffice until you find a gun!

Or any other elongated blunt force object you may have on you.

chaosal April 29 2009 7:07 PM EDT

The efficacy of guns would really depend on the basis of reanimation... if they're practically just mindless humans, a bullet would stop them; if they're some sort of mutated creature, you'd have to shred or sever the brain (so a bladed weapon might be best), and if it's magic-based, run and hide.

QBJohnnywas April 29 2009 7:12 PM EDT

Lets see, looking around my home, I've a shovel, an axe, lots of screwdrivers, a bread knife, a set of japanese chef's knives - very sharp, two hammers, some gardening tools, some petrol, a swiss army knife and a nail gun.

That'll do for starters. There's only one way in (although that means there's only one way out. Bring em on.

{Wookie}-Jir.Vr- April 29 2009 9:22 PM EDT

""""I highly respect anyones discipline in regards to their hand to hand or "sword to hand" combat... but...

if you have to wait to let the enemy (zombies in this case) get within swords length before you can eliminate the threat, well, IMVHO, that's just too close. """""
Not really, you just go wherever it is you need to go, and if any are in your way =) well... you can imagine.

The argument being that ammo won't be around forever, because every single person that is alive is going to be after ammo and guns, and they are going to also kill each other over them. Ammo won't be around forever, with the lines of mass communication down, who is going to make the ammo? The factories would be down because who is going to go to work in zombie apocalypse?? Without the mass lines of communication our military forces are going to implode in the mass panic...

My argument wasn't that a gun wouldn't be useful, I was just arguing that a Katana would be more reliable long term.

Eurynome Bartleby [Bartleby's] April 29 2009 9:28 PM EDT

Lol. Fending off the horde with a broken chair leg. That's incredibly hardcore.

Soul Eater April 29 2009 9:53 PM EDT

Not really Jiraiya cause what happens when the katana becomes dull?

three4thsforsaken April 29 2009 9:54 PM EDT

it's easier to sharpen a blade then it is to make new bullets.

BadFish April 29 2009 9:55 PM EDT

its not easy to sharpen a katana.

AdminTitan [The Sky Forge] April 29 2009 9:57 PM EDT

I'll pack my own bullets.

Goodfish April 29 2009 10:18 PM EDT

"I would be the evil mastermind manipulating the zombies from behind the scenes, so I don't think I'd have much of a problem."

Made me laugh.

Anyways, Badfish, since I've already recieved plenty of blood money to kill you... it is now you must die!
Anna Molly (Anarchy Online) defeated Veil of Maya after 10 rounds of combat


I suppose since Badfish would be the mastermind pulling the strings, I would either be his first victim (and hence, one of his go-to zombies), or would stay human to be his lapdog.

Barring his ascendency to power, I'd probably work on assembling as many survivors as possible, and would cover myself in leather or thick medical bandage (hard to bite through). I'd stick with a standard handgun, probably hole up in a police station (sleep in locked cells), and slowly rebuild civilization.

Daz April 30 2009 4:33 AM EDT

Well, there are plenty of weapons (tools) in the shed. No guns around these parts though.

As good as I am at close combat (Ask some of my friends :P), I wouldn't try to fight the Zombies. At some point, I'm going to have a little nick or scratch, and I'll pwn some Zombie...... getting its blood on my scratch. Or in my eyes. Nose. Mouth. etc. Now, I don't know. Maybe these zombies don't infect you like that. I don't want to take that chance.

I think what I'd do is move the fridge into the shed at the first sign of Zombie doom, and as much of our tinned food as possible. Our shed is rather large. No windows, and no way for the zombies to get in. Ration the food. We've got electricity in there. No water though, so every now and then someone will have to go for a run to the house.

Alternatively, we could just install more roller shutters on our house. Nothing can get through those things. Most of the windows are done...

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] April 30 2009 4:39 AM EDT

"When prompted I replied the very first Item I would take before anything else was my Katana."

Sorry to rain on the Katana parade, but a Katana is a rubbish wepaon for a Zombie Invasion.

First, let's assume we're talking about classical slow moving Zombies (as fast moving would pwn us all!). A Katana, while great at parting flesh, would do negligable damage to a Zombie. While also being large and constricting in mass Melee's you usually encounter with Zombie groups (or the tight spaces they like to occupy).

A much better Melee weapon to pick up would be some sort of small Claw Hammer or hand Axe.

Heavy enough to cause damage by crushing bones or removing limbs (the only really effective way to disable a Zombie), but small enough to be weilded fastly and in tight spaces.

On top of that, look for some Biker Leathers or reinforced clothing. Human teeth are going to have a terrible time trying to bite through most durable clothing.

Then go to town on your slow moving prey. ;)

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] April 30 2009 4:42 AM EDT

Also, a tool like a Claw Hammer/Hand Axe would be easier to obtain than a Katana (especially a well made one that won't shatter on the first real hit!), and far easier to replace. ;)

Wizard'sFirstRule April 30 2009 4:43 AM EDT

I hereby declear Simply Nic a zombie for trying to find a work-around for our plans.

/me bows to the superiority of the zombie overlord and serve under its influence. With or without my mind.

smallpau1 - Go Blues [Lower My Fees] April 30 2009 4:50 AM EDT

Yep, I bought World War Z, and Zombie Survival Guide as a combo deal on Amazon, =)

QBJohnnywas April 30 2009 5:06 AM EDT

It's a shame I sold all my old vinyl LPs.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] April 30 2009 5:56 AM EDT


{WW]Nayab [Cult of the Valaraukar] April 30 2009 6:08 AM EDT

Methods, get as many survivors together and take control of Area 51 :)
or alternately wage war on the zombies with guns and axes etc. to cut them down.
Personally best bet i think would be to get a way to make really good traps, so like pitfalls with spikes at the bottom or pit falls with remote ignition so you can watch them BURN!

Favorite Weapon : anything durable, long and sharp.
Hack off their limbs!

Marlfox [Cult of the Valaraukar] April 30 2009 6:50 AM EDT

I'd grab one of my (dear) fathers many weapons, and start walking towards Canada. And then, perhaps, Alaska. Anywho, I'm sure more people would end up in the far north, as zombies should be rather intolerant of cold.
In all events, I'd try to get out of the major population centers.

lostling April 30 2009 10:40 AM EDT

sigh... the trusty old flame thrower always works

Rawr April 30 2009 10:42 AM EDT


Then you get flaming zombies running at you! even worse! :P

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] April 30 2009 10:42 AM EDT

Unless the on fire dead guys continues to shamble towards you and grabs you while still on flame. ;)

QBRanger April 30 2009 10:47 AM EDT


Since Zombies do not feel pain, they will continue to go after you.

And if they are the fast Zombies, you too will be cooked.

Marlfox [Cult of the Valaraukar] April 30 2009 1:28 PM EDT

This is bringing back bad memories of setting fast zombies on fire in Ravenholm.

Revs April 30 2009 1:38 PM EDT

Two words (ok, maybe 4, I'm sure the grammar police will tell). . . mealworms+slingshot.

Out running them isn't an issue, as they tend toward the slow, dilapidated, shuffler side. I think the mere sight of a writhing ball of mealworms would be enough to send them shuffling the other direction, as they imagine my ammunition that continues to eat, multiply, fly off, mate, come back and multiply another couple hundred young in the host.

Parasites ftw! Might take some time, but the exponential growth potential has me convinced.

Marlfox [Cult of the Valaraukar] April 30 2009 1:39 PM EDT

Wow, Revs. ;)

Revs April 30 2009 2:47 PM EDT

Just thinking outside of the box. ;)

iBananco [Blue Army] April 30 2009 3:03 PM EDT

Flaming hunters are bad.
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