On Addiction and Gaming (in Public Record)
I can no longer play CB. It's not because I don't love the game, and it has nothing to do with the stagnation. It has everything to do with a serious personality flaw I have been fighting - my tendency to get addicted to, and ultimately unhealthily obsessed with certain things.
Looking back, I remember spending days building spreadsheets, calculating damage outputs, AC breakpoints, MPR projections, and searching for the perfect strategy. The day I bought Diablo 3, I played for 19 hours straight, and realized that I could easily become one of those people who dies in front of their computer because they haven't eaten or slept in days.
I realized that the only way I can manage my addictive tendencies is to abstain from the things I get addicted to, and gaming is the most glaring example of something that, once started, I cannot stop doing.
So... now for the Public Record part. I'm going to keep this really simple: everything I own of value that has not been loaned out has already been transferred to Xenogard. The equipment on Anomander Rake, and The War Wizard's Gift are also now Xenogard's, for him to do with as he sees fit.
If you want to contact me, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org.
April 5 2013 3:33 PM EDT
Best of luck. Thanks for all you brought to CB, and may you find a fun, healthy balance in life.
sad to hear that, gaming is the best thing imho. good luck making the life you want to have.
Ummmm whoa send you a email bro.
Zen and BH, I will follow up with you two personally when I get home from work later today. This is quite the surprise to me.
Sorry to see you go Areo!
No problem Xeno ;-)
April 5 2013 7:52 PM EDT
Good luck with your current and future struggles.
However, you do realize that your "addictions" are also (or maybe just) symptoms of something else, not entirely just addictions, do you ?
An addiction starts to form when you like doing something non-beneficial because it's more pleasant than doing what needs to be done, and the more you dislike your life and/or work, the stronger that addiction becomes. I should know, been there, done that, multiple times, more than I care to count. And so have many, many others. I even dare say, most of us have, at least at some point in time.
Just realizing you're "addicted to game X" and quitting the game altogether will not solve the problem in its entirety, it will only make it less noticeable (or, as they say, manage the symptoms instead of managing the cause).
Instead, finding out why you like gaming (or, as my wife calls itm "wasting time") more than what you are supposed to do, and seeing if you can maybe find a way to start enjoying also the things you're normally supposed to do (can be pretty hard bordering on unbelievably hard, but it's usually at least somewhat doable), that would be a better idea.
Feel free to drop in once in a blue moon if you like and say hi (and tell us how it's going), you just know you will, even if you won't restart playing at all. Or, maybe not, if that's too dangerous from the "can't stay away if I do" perspective.
Either way, again, best of luck.
I've given this a lot of thought, now I don't want to break any ties with anyone, but I've been trying to track down Areo and Gohan for the past few weeks and I've yet to receive a reply from either of them. I even shot Areo a text and a call with no response.
To be fair, Zen has expressed his wanting to leave the game, as such I will be taking full ownership of The War Wizard's Gift. I will pay Zen all transfer costs + commission for leveling it from 20m to 25m based upon the standard leveling prices that have been made in deals past.
To Bounty Hunter: Everything that is not explicitly known as Gohan's personal equipment that is currently being used by Anomander Rake will default to me for ownership.
As far as I have been told all the Named items are Gohan's however I may have to go back through old PR threads and transfer logs to figure this out.
Now here's your choice, you can either:
A.) Relinquish all of Areo's gear from Anomander Rake to me, I will cover all xfer costs.
B.) Take ownership of the items and pay me back for a grand total of 60% of their combined NW. A payplan for this is perfectly acceptable, as well as straight CBD or USD payments.
Now this literally took me this long to make this decision since Areo first posted this thread. It was not an easy one for me to make, as I would rather everyone just keep everything they currently have, but since I cannot get in touch with the people I need to get in touch with, I've decided to come up with my own way of handling this that I find fair to all parties involved.
As much as I would love to, I do not find it fair to give away all of Areo's hard earned equipment for free, especially considering that wasn't really what he had in mind (<- Private CM he sent me after all this went down, will make it public if anyone really has any issues).
I'd like to at the very least re-coup some of Areo's losses for him, and hopefully if I can get in touch with him, repay him the favor that he's payed to me multiple times.
So that is that. I've made my decision whether you guys like it or not, and I assure you I mean to bring no hard feelings to anyone.
^ To Bounty Hunter:
Based on this thread: http://www.carnageblender.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=003JpI
Gohan still Owed Areo 44m. I will consider this as adequate payment for what Areo is owed for the gear as I have no other way of figuring out EXACTLY what is and is not Areo's but I do know how much Gohan still owed him.
Also I absorb the below debts as well:
"Tal - 129m
Gandalf - 10m
Gohan - 44m
Lego - 16m"
Tal's debt has been discussed with Areo. I'll leave that between those two.
Xeno, I would like to recommend that you move these last few posts into a public record. It is kind of strange to be reading their contents under a "farewell" header. Just a suggestion tho.
Well technically it is on a PR Thread as is.
^ I put it here for the reason Areo made this post in the PR to begin with,
"So... now for the Public Record part. I'm going to keep this really simple: everything I own of value that has not been loaned out has already been transferred to Xenogard. The equipment on Anomander Rake, and The War Wizard's Gift are also now Xenogard's, for him to do with as he sees fit."
However I'll gladly open a new PR for the actual dealings. I just figured my decision on what to do with his equipment should be part of this thread at the very least.
This thread is closed to new posts.
However, you are welcome to reference it
from a new thread; link this with the html
<a href="/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=003Kky">On Addiction and Gaming</a>