Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. (in Off-topic)

For those that say there is no such thing as a stupid question, I have one thing to say to you. Your stupid. Now I'm going to ask a stupid question. The next person to respond should give me an answer to match and then ask his/her own question. The next poster should then respond to that and so on.

Note: Try to keep it CB related and be sure to keep it PG.

"Why should I bother to train when I get more xp and cash from fighting?"

"Your stupid" - [poor]Vestax


Oh, the irony.

A: Because that's what everyone else does.


Q: What's the best enchantment level for my Double Chain Mail?

A: it's level -10

Q: how can I forge when the blacksmith takes all my armor away from me?

A: You can't. You need a license. They cost $10, payable to Jonathan, although I'd be happy to send it along to him. :)

Q: How can I get all of those cool FORS suggestions implemented? And what does FORS stand for, again?

A) Frequently Offered Retarded Suggestions, and you can't

Q) Why are there weak weapons like tulwar, and dagger?

A. BECAUSE HE SAID SO! *snicker*

Q. When are the aikimbo berettas getting released?

Not for another 6 months. Duh! lol CB is like Civilization so like we need to build up enough resources in order to advance to the next age. I'm working hard so we can get to blasters and lightsabers. lol.

Can anyone loan me some health pots? I'm losing all the time. I think their rare but don't worry I have lots of ca$h. So what's the market price anyhow?

They're around 150k each, but tell ya what, I'll cut you a deal. If you send me half the money you make each day, I'll set it so every time you click fight, you get healed. Sound good?

Q: Why won't my mage use his weapon, too? Isn't there a battlemage class in this game?

Battlemages have too much sex appeal for this game.

Who's idea was it to put that "Jon" guy in charge??

I hear some Crackmonkey fellow hacked CB and put Jon in charge.

Whats up with these admins everywhere? Banning people and whatnot, spamming the forums with their multi-hunts. Rubbish.

Spam is made of people...dur! Whats a USD?

Stands for UnSolicited Donation. You send me something valuable and I'll send you some CB in return

Q: Why doesn't this game just reset every month to stop all the whining about the NCB/NUB?

Apparently the games database is too complex to reset everyone. Instead admins reset people on a rotating basis. Just wait for your turn. Personally, I can't wait to get a NUB again.

I'm pretty sure I knew what familiars do, but what spell does a Supporter cast?

enchanters obviously cast direct damage spells, duh.



do you think, AGs and a CoI is good for my Wall?

Yes, but only if you finish out the set with a Mage Shield.

Why can't I use AMF and DM on the same guy? That's no fair! Throw off the chains of repression! Rebel!

cause that would be to powerful
why do i have to pay to use the forge(i do all the work)

Because you suck at it, and the blacksmith charges you a stupid fee.

Why can't we make the auctions last for only a day?

(as in a fee for being stupid ;))

cause people love to bid three days so that other beat can save up to beat their bid
why cant i forge elven gloves

i meant so other people can save up to beat thier bid

Because you aren't an elf. D'oh.

My team is better if I use as many enchantments as possible, right?

A Yes, but not if you plan on being the best.
Q I'm new here, so like, whats the point of this?

there is no point obviously we just sit here, Down,C,Enter,Down,C,Enter. wasting our lives as usual.


why cant i have 15 minions on my team?

Because that's an odd number. You see, your team is divided up evenly into boy minions and girl minions, and with 15, there's always a loner who will pull out a gun from nowhere and ruin your team.

Why does my stuff keep getting more and more expensive to upgrade? Doesn't Jon know I only have so much money?

yea but also knows you can just get a loan
why wont the blacksmith accept my whip?

because its the best weapon in the game next to a dagger! duh!.and the blacksmith doesnt want to make it more powerful.



how come in auction i bid on a item and someone else bids on it after me? i thought once i bid on it i buy it.

Traumatic childhood.

Where can I get a mount? I need to get to the next Realm.

My answer was to Dustin Sculley

Well, the mounts actually .. they all got killed in the "Mount nerf" inncedent, from the last change month!


How come everytime I create another account, I can't log in with the new one, and the old one, is like .. reset or something, and some guy named Shade is yelling at me?

Because you're a multi.

Why can't I buy PANTS for my minions?

That is NOT a stupid answer .. gawd

cause we dont wear pants
how come the new people are bigger then me?

Flamey, cause that's an admin abusing his/her powers. Join the resistance. Rebel!

Valiek, minions have spiky legs which makes it difficult to find a good pair. Just keep camping the store cause they're rare.

Dustin Sculley, cause they found and used the online coupon deal from this Christmas' big promotional deal.



Where can I get my own set of the Steeds of the Apocalypse? That thing owns.

Refer to your second answer in the last post. "Just keep camping the store cause they're rare."

Why peanut butter stick to the top of my mouth?

Because it is trying to burrow through your mouth into your skull to take over your brain.

Q: Why can't I beat everyone I fight?

Hawkeye, because you suck.

What's the point to this thread?

It a way for pros, like myself, help out little newbs like you, I'm trying to get Jon to replace the wiki with this post. You know, to help people out ans stuff.

Why do you guys let people change the names of armor and stuff through your dumb wiki anyhow?

We believe that, in a free society, it is easier to identify the idiots if we give them plenty of rope with which to hang themselves. Special attention is paid to those who can't tie a decent knot.

Why is the spellchecker so deficient in standard English? What dictionary are we using?

"English for Dummies"?

Why is the spellchecker so deficient? Possibly because it is using American English?

Why is the Tulwar so cheap to buy? Doesn't anybody want one?

Because Everyone has one.

Why do idiots exist in the universe?

For the amusement and vexation of the non-idiots.

Why _do_ people just vote for whatever they want to see spawn, in the Blackmarket?

cause then we get it right
why do you have to pay so much for a BoTH aint a tulwar rarer?

They're trying to raise all the prices, so Newbs can't afford either.

Why can't I make a poll of my own choice? That should be allowed.

You need a higher blacksmithing skill to make poll arms.

What weapon is best with Unarmed Combat?

A Tulwar, of course!

I put a Mage Shield on my Ablative Shield/AntiMagic Field Enchanter, and now everyone is owning me! What's up with that?

you have to lvl the MgS up
i train everthing in to str and dx how come i keep dieing?

Because the system is rebelling against you for your spelling.

I ignored the help from everyone in new players. Now I can't win and everyone is just telling me the stuff they said before. Should I listen to them?

No, the first lesson you should learn is to ignore _everyone's_ advice.


Some dude told me to train Dex, but all I see is HP, DX, and ST. What the heck is he talking about?

He's talking about Dexter's Lab. Watch more TV.

Q: Why can't I say dirty words in chat? Isn't this a free country?

He told you to train a new minion and name it Dex. "Train Dex". *sigh* n00bs...

Where are the pants armor?

Looks like someone else answered before I did, so I'll continue...

Because CB2 isn't a country. Its a game.

Where are the pants armor?

of course you can, you wont get banned......


How come my Fights run out?i wanna play more :(

Because noobs always know all the secrets and we can't have you passing us. Therefore we take your fights away so we can keep fighting.

why does it cost so much money just to loan something to someone? Why isn't it free?

The CB government needs more money. Its a Jonocracy after all.

Where did all the pants armor go?

Pants are a super rare item; They only spawn once a day randomly. Watch the auctions and you might get super lucky....

What does OP mean? Why do they tell me what to do?

OP means Ocular Perfectionist. We all have perfect eyesight and never miss a thing. Jon uses us as spies.

What stats should I get my Tulwar to so it'll own?

i'd say take the x10 and +10 and i think that will be second best in the game!


i think i have just found the rarest item in the game a whip 9x1+0?
what do you guys think????????

I'm so jealous! You know what? I think the top players will pay top dollar for it. No wait, they give you [i]all[/i] of their CB$ plus USD! What does Wiki mean and where the heck did they come up with the name?

You should definitely be able to beat Ranger and Mantras with that. Go try!

Can I be an admin? pleeeaaassseee??????

yea all you have to do is ask nicely give them all your CB2 and wait.thats what i did :)


i trained protection how come i die now? i thought it PROTECTS me?

It protects itself. Now you need train Giant Strength so it can start doing some damage for you.

Where can I find a CoBF?

there is a nice shop around the corner that sells cloaks you should try there.

how come i can see other peoples battles? i dont want to, just mine.
(sorry for the lame question)

That's so people can make fun of you when they see you don't have a 500 people beat winning streak like everyone else always has.


Why isn't there any music or sound effects on this game?

there is, turn your speakers on/up

whats the deal with the forge dwarf?

Well, for starters, he doesn't like being called a "dwarf".

Why does Vestax think Jon should be in bed at 9 p.m.?

Because Vest's mommy says HE has to be in bed at 10, and Vest doesn't like other -important- people to be able to stay up later than him.

How come sometimes, when I hit the re-fresh button, I can't get to chat for a couple hours?

A: Because your chat needs longer to refresh

Q: How comes that i can't throw bolts with my sling?

Because you haven't asked the forgers to modify it for you yet. They'll fix you right up.

Why is there so much reading in this game? Every time I ask a question everyone always says "read Wiki"...

Wiki means fast in Hawaiian, they just telling you for read faster...

How come when I click home I'm still at work?

Because you live at work and the man don't want you to have a life outside of work

Okay now why do I have to work to get paid that is very unfair.

You don't silly. You only have to come in on Fridays to pick up your check.

There is something wrong with my character. Every time I go to equip my second weapon for my dual-wielder the other weapon comes off. Anyone know how to fix this?

Buy some special dual-wielder gloves, available at Tarje for only $25k.

Since this is CB2, why don't they make a CB1 first?

Huh ?!? I swear Ranger was a CB1er.

Why don't they make a sundial with removable/reversible numbers so that it could be used in both hemispheres?

because they only use sundials in one hemesphere
why does everyone say you have to use usd to be good at this game and they say like Freed i dont understand

Bah, they are wrong. You don't need USD to be good at this game, you need pesos. Freed understands this, and uses this form of currency, so he gets more CB for his money.

Why isn't there an option for me to bathe my minions? They stink!

A: they automatically get washed during cache flush, if they still stink it's probably the weapons, ask the dwarf for help

Q: Why does my 1st minion get the same experience although he always dies in the first round?

The other guys hand him some when he gets revived.

Why are there no graphics to this RPG? (the classic)

A: There are! Probably you played too much so that you don't see them anymore.

Q: Why does Reforge a Cloak with a new name cost money and Rename Cloak not?

"Reforge an item with a Name of Power" is just an idiot tax. "Rename Cloak" from the super secret wiki site is what the pros use.

How much xp is it to get a base FoD?

A shrubbery's worth and two chocolate wigs.


Where can you find pet rocks and are they housebroken?

You can find some big ones at the beach sometimes, And I don't think they are housebroken because they are usually all wet :)

Is the moon really made of cheese and if so what kind of cheese?

A: Sure, that mystic CB-Moon that is always shining with a light blue glow is "Jonathaner Cheese" ;-)

Q: Why do Arrows come in packages of 1,146 while Bolts come in packages of 1,168 ?

A: It's a marketing scheme, like hot dogs and hot dog buns.

Q: How will we know when 48 hrs. has passed?

There is a multi every 3 hours. So my guess would be every 16 multis. Multi time > Military Time.

I just got Seeker Bolts and THEY MISSED! What the heck is the point of these things if they can't hit a thing?

Who lied to you? Seeker bolts don't exist....

Why can I only have 2 characters? How come supporters are so special that they get to have 5?

Remember the advertisements? Supporters get (insert special advantages here) and SEX APPEAL. The extra characters are drawn to your greater SEX APPEAL, thus allowing you to have more.

Either that, or you become magnetic when you become a supporter.

Why can't we have the bank back? Iwantitbackiwantitbackiwantitback!

A: Because you don't have enough money to buy a bank back and especially you don't have enough to buy a bank front!

Q: Why is there no button to use BAs for resting? My minions want to rest and not to fight ..

Because they let that button on the President's desk to launch nuclear weapons.

Why do people drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Because that has nothing to do with CB!

Can I marry my Guardian Angel?

Of course! All you have to do is send Haruka 50k and I will set that right up for you...

Why does this game generate such stupid names for minions?

-------- until here this contest goes, but feel free to continue anyway if you like ;-) --------

...so that people like stabilo can kill the thread!! *glares*

Q: How much longer 'till we get our BoNE a DoG to use it?

DAWG already got his BoNE and swallowed it whole. As a result he is now in the Morg.

The puzzle game in-between fights is giving my script a hard time. I mean, how do they expect me to spend this BA while I'm sleeping and playing WoW?

A: Get in good with Verifex, he has a perfectly working bot.

Q: When is verifex getting banned?

A: When your MOM goes to college. ~_^

Q: Why are mages so overpowered?

A: As soon as he steals everyone's money from donations for his program.

Q: When will G Beee realize his wife is going to stick around for years?

OB, because they casts the spells that makes the peoples fall down!

SNK, the same day he voluntarily bans himself as a multi using special information that only an admin can see.

Err.. What would be a good question to ask?

Answer in form of an question: What isn't a good question to ask?

Q: When will the next rescale occur?

A: just after each 1.000 multi (this would be every 125 days according to Vestax)

Q: Why is there an Opponents list, I thought I could find friends here ..

A: Wrong list! You can make up to 5 characters as a supporter, each one is your friend. They got the list just right above the opponents list.

Q: Why do I get 250+ errors when entering the html of the CB2 page into a HTML verifier? (just the right frame that lists your minions)

A: Have you ever been to Utah? It simply exists in an alternate dimension where HTML coding is exactly the opposite as is usual.

Q: Why would I play this game? It's so boring. I don't see how you people are so hopelessly addicted to it.

A: We were addicted, but CB2 is actually only an withdrawal treatment to get rid of the addiction to CB1. This is also the reason why you get less BA when you are longer in this self-help group.

Q: Whats the difference between Refresh and Heal ?

refresh refreshes and heal heals.

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

A: As much as the equation: MultiBans*2e^7x, where MultiBans is the total number of bans by all Full Admins. (and Jon), and x is the number of times each multi-account user comes back for another account.

Q: When will Todd return?

A. When Mushu drags him back.

Q. When do you get to move up to the next realm?

A. When Jon adds the the realm Mordor for players that have been here for 2 years or more.

Q. How many fights does it take a level 100K MPR character to defeat Ranger?

A: As much as the equation: MultiBans*2e^7x, where MultiBans is the total number of bans by all Full Admins. (and Jon), and x is the number of times each multi-account user comes back for another account.

Q: Isn't somewhat paradoxical that the same equations and constants appear in almost all aspects of life? Is this a sign of a higher being? (Tell me what I want to hear.)

A. No

B. Shouldn't you be in bed?

A. Sleep is for the weak.

Q. When will Jon create a test character that can blow everyone's character out of the water in 1 round?

A: Yes, but I'm working on your pretty tourney table.

Q: Wasn't I looking for some reference to Jon being an all-mighty being who dictates our entire would with variations of the same exponentially growing equations?

A: No, that's what you wrote but not what you were looking for. You were looking for some water to wash your minions. Try to remember memento and look what the Tattoo on your minion says!

Q: Why is it that 'Community' falls into the category 'Tools'?

A to SNK: I thought Ranger made this game? Who is this Jon guy you speak of?

A to stabilo: Because everyone in CB is a tool.

Q: I can't seems to figure out a word that will get past teh language bots lol, anyone no any fouls words that won't trigger the bots to reset?

A. yes, the word is "moron"....i know, it's 5 letters, but if you try hard enough and use caps and lowercases it will fit I promise...

Q. How come everyone abbreviates everything? I never know what they're talking about. Where are people getting them from?

A: i dt. kn. bt. t. is n. i. f. me

Q: What does this abbreviation mean?

A: I don't know, but it is not influential for me.

Q: What does Jon do in his free time?

Sticks needles into a CrackMonkey doll.

Why wont people do my homework for me?

A: Because you should do your own homework.

Q: When will Jon release the Sword of Flames!? :P

A: Yes.
Q: Why did Bart kill the thread? :(

A: He was trying to save you the shame of killing it yourself. Good thing you're much more mature now and won't do that.

Q: Why invest in Haste? The battles happen instantly anyways.

A. Because then they'll happen 2X instantly, and you'll get 2X rewards.

Q. Who is that Todd guy, and why is everyone welcoming him back? Did he quit or something?

A: Todd used to run this place before Jon took over.

Q:Do people actually like Todd or is everyone just humouring him?

A: Todd rhymes with God. They forgot about Jon having fired him.

Q: What's the point of 2handed weapons having so much damage if a BoM becomes worthless when worn with them?