Not Another 1M Contest... (in Contests)

So instead, I'm potting the famous Point of View Gun [4x150] (+50) $4,062,875 in celebration of my umm... $7,612,107 cash/977,643 MPR milestones. Yay for you :D
You spot a newblet. Quickly! You only have time to give them FIVE pieces of advice/tricks/tips/hints/cheat codes. Which will be...

Ummm...
Read the Wiki.
Don't be afraid to ask questions.
Find a strategy that suits you best.
Keep a good fightlist with challenge bonuses in mind - there are enough people to farm for everyone.
Have fun.

Remember that Bast is a woman.

Don't confuse Nightstrike with Jonathan's son, Matthew.

Learn from Oddbird about the perils of speculation.

When Novice runs a name contest, don't wait until after the deadline to submit the name "Shocking Asp."

If you are banned, Thrak will swallow your name.

1. Ba
2. n
3. a
4. n
5. co.

Evasion!
Evasion!
Evasion!
Shocking Grasp!
Single minion!

The initials QB actually stand for Queen Blender and is a title given to the winner of the annual CB Beauty Contest.

So just remember anytime you see a QB the player is female. And we're all hot.

If you type the word Monty you will unlock the secret bank vault. Untold riches will be yours.

The best weapon is the Tulwar.

Playing naked gives you the best defence.

Only 5? tough!

Don't train strength on a spellcaster minion. They don't need it.
DO train strength on a fighter minion. They need it to deal damage with their weapons.
Don't train spells like Fireball / Magic Missile / Decay / Cone of Cold / Shocking Grasp on a fighter minion. They will not use their normal weapons.
Train regularly, it helps you to keep strong and update your fight list.
If you need any more help check this thread for many more tips from other players.

Alternatively I'd have 1 cheat code:

START, UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A.

1) Fight as high a SCORE as possible, to maximize growth.

2) Join a clan, any open one that gets a decent bonus.

3) Start as a single minion FB mage training FB 3 : HP 1. This will allow the fastest growth for the longest time in the beginning, until you know/learn the game enough to play more complicated strategies. Or add evasion/DM later on.

4) Get a ROE as soon as possible, make a post in FS to rent one for a week or ask someone nicely in chat if they have one you can borrow. Fight with it as long as possible. Then save money to try to buy a tattoo later on.

5) Become a supporter ASAP, it will allow you to make a custom fightlist which makes fighting much easier.

Check out the newbie blender.(Should it keep happening) It's an easy way for starter players to nab some extra cash, and along the way you could learn some things about the game.

Check out all the strategies sections of the help wiki. It's very helpful and might give you a few pointers on how your going to plot out your minions.

Use all your BA every day... Under the GET MORE you can get an addition 240 a day for free while your NUB (new user bonus) is still on. That will help you get up there.

Don't feel bad if you can't always beat people your level. You just started, and some people have been playing here for years. Just take a good look at fights you lose. Look and see how they're killing you, and what you could do from preventing that. If it's not possible, there's a good chance their strat is to kill your strat, so don't feel bad. Just write down the name and try not to fight them.

The SFBM (Single FireBall Minion) is a very popular starting choice because it's very simple, and yet very effective. It's an easy way to shoot up past the first 100k or so and by then you'll be in the know at least on some strats, and you can continue to make/mold your minions to your own personal strategies.

If I had only met you guys during my first ten minutes :P

1. Remain calm. The chatroom may look dangerous, and sound dangerous, but they can't hurt you. Not really.

2. Do not immediately beg for teh free itemz. Generally you will be flamed to a crisp and then eaten.

3. Get a tattoo as soon as possible. Everyone else has one; don't you want to be cool?

4. Idolize TetraDomino. He is the most respected and awesome member of CB and his greatness might rub off on you. Probably not, though.

5. Participate in Lucario's contests as often as possible. For some reason he gives out free items and money all the time, generally to TetraDomino. Obey Rule #4 and TetraDomino may pass some of these winnings onto you. Again, probably not though.

1. Ask everyone in the top five what they did to get their strategy built up, then mimic the one that best suits you.

1. Don't take advice from Silva.
2. If you do take advice from Silva, make sure to do the exact opposite of whatever he tells you.
3. Find TheHatchetman and remind him that Silva is still in debt to him.
4. Oh hai.
5. Take the first seven months of gameplay off and go read a book.

1. Have fun 2. Talk in chat 3. Dont waste your NUB, play as much as possible in the first 4 months. 4. Remember its just a game 5. Read the wiki

1)read the wiki
2)be in chat regularly
3)Tats rock
4)SFBM with evasion is an awesomely cheap, successful and overused strat
5)abandon all hopes of having a real life if you want to be successful

Contest ends in ~12 hours :P

After forgetting about the contest, myself and (mostly) others have decided upon three finalists: Menzo, Ranger, and Shade.

Shade's #5 theoretically pwnzors everybody else's, and made me laugh long and hard after I finally clicked on it. Mucho clever. #1 and #3 are also often overlooked, but #2 and 4 seem too obvious. Popsicle, aka Ranger, gives a broad range of good advice. In particular, I liked the 4th and the 5th. Typical Ranger :P Menzo's #1 makes me lose more money, but he mentions both the wiki and how to get more BA that few/nobody else covered. Good #5. But #4 takes home the cake, and in this case the Hxbow, imo. With all the new kids who just run around with frustrated 45% win ratios, I think this is a phenomenal piece of advice.

Congratulations, Menzo! And thanks to everybody else for participating :D

Lucario (Stuff Collector) 205.144.218.234 DarkMenzo (Bojangles) Point of View Gun ($4062875) 11:12 PM EDT

O_O I must be on to something... first the jackpot and now another contest... ^.^