The 4th Annual Boasting Contest!!1!one (in Contests)

QBOddBird August 22 2008 7:48 PM EDT

For reference, you may view the 2005, 2006, and 2007 Boasting Contests.

This a boasting contest, plain and simple. Boast on whatever you like, make it PG, and show us your boasting skills. Prove to us that you are the best, tell us why, and make us believe it!

The required entry fee is 10k, along with any donation that you might decide to make in order to prove that you really *ARE* willing to put your money where your oversized mouth is. Multiple entries will be allowed, so that you may attempt to "outboast" any competitors you feel are besting you at the time. The pot will be a minimum of 1000k, donated by myself, plus fees from the contestants and any other donations made by competitors/generous donators/Jonathan (yes, you get your own category. Feel special. Also feel free to enter the contest and blow us all away with your mad boasting skills.) /bankers/loaners/gnomes/campers/etc. All donations are to be sent to Safety Deposit Box.


1) You may not make consecutive entries, though you may make multiple entries in order to continue "outboasting" your opponents.

2) You must use correct grammar and spelling in all real words. Created words, such as superflendickerous and shibble-doo-woppible must be constructed properly and be legible, or as close to it as possible for a made-up word.

3) Putting your money where your mouth is shows your confidence in your ability to win. This increases your chances of winning, as it shows that you are willing to back up your words. This also helps to build up the pot.

4) No profanity, cursing, puns on curse-words, anything risque, etc. Basically, think before you type.

5) The contest will continue until (A) Interest is lost (B) a week has elapsed (C) Interest by the judges is lost (D) I don't feel like reading through all the entries (E) The pot gets extremely high and I feel like it needs to be given out already.

6) There is a possibility of multiple winners based on number and fantasticibility of entries.

7) Boasting will always be considered to a greater extent than roasting, for obvious reasons (if you are confused, read the title of the contest).

May the Boasting begin!

RedWolf August 22 2008 8:38 PM EDT

Psst - It's going to turn into a poetry/rhyming contest eventually :-P

QBOddBird August 22 2008 8:46 PM EDT

Actually, last year's contest was won on eloquent speech, rather than on verse. ~_^

QBOddBird August 23 2008 1:47 AM EDT


Ryuzaki August 23 2008 4:33 AM EDT

Well, to get things started, a boast about me.

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Look at me, look at me
hands on the board like it's good to be
and I'm a famous gamer
even when the strats are all crookedy
I can show you how to metagame
I can show you how to be a munchkin
I can pick apart your mind
And I can almost put it back together
I can out game all the Wiggins
I can tell you all about a Note
I know all the words in Machiavelli's letter
And I'm proud to be a strategist
Me and my friend we saw a Blender
Me and my friend made an NUB
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can beat Koy with no familiar
No familiar
No familiar

And I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Rootski August 23 2008 12:00 PM EDT

eh thats a song

QBOddBird August 23 2008 12:46 PM EDT

It's a boastful song though. So it counts. I take entries in all forms :)

Lochnivar August 24 2008 2:04 AM EDT

when I get a day off of work you will see some real boasting...

So bookmark (I am naturally loquacious and I will not dumb down my prose) and prepare to feel humbled by the awesome power of my boasts.

Incidentally OB, this is not an entry, this not even the beginning of an entry. It is, perhaps, the entry of the beginning. To clarify, I will send my entry fee when I make my actually entry into the contest.

Ernest-Scribbler August 24 2008 2:26 AM EDT

I gave birth to Chuck Norris. I am the only person he is afraid of. I invented the cure for Aids but was paid to destroy the it. I spend my spare time burning money in front of those less fortunate, which is everyone. I am the one who made Belgium suck, and who made Wales so hard to find on a map. Most importantly i am the one who put someone i found in a " Reading For Dummies " class into power for my own amusement.

The moral of this story is, people who boast aren't very nice, but we are better than you.

QBOddBird August 24 2008 1:29 PM EDT

"The moral of this story is, people who boast aren't very nice, but we are better than you."

The moral of this post is that if you don't submit an entry fee, your boast is worthless.

stevebat August 24 2008 2:08 PM EDT

i make so much money bill gates asks me for loans. the olympics were made for my entertainment. i made my first million before i learned to walk. the billion? before i passed high school.

mikes wanton rage August 24 2008 2:26 PM EDT

My dingleberries are actual fruit.
A piano only counts as grand if I'm playing it.
Michael Vick is afraid to leave his dogs around me.
HBO stopped being TV when I started working there.
Woodchucks ask me how much wood they should chuck if they could chuck wood.

Ryuzaki August 24 2008 4:11 PM EDT

I like Ernest's magnanimity in including all his fellow boasters in his post. I shall follow up with the notion that arrogance is only intolerable in the inept, which none of us are. I feel certain that the rest of you are skilled enough to be my servants, and so I thank you for bowing down in your rightful place.

QBOddBird August 25 2008 1:10 AM EDT


Ernest-Scribbler August 25 2008 1:39 AM EDT

I don't want anything for a few random bad lines i spewed out, so by not sending the entrance fee i was not entering and not risking my projecting myself as a arrogant cocky tool with bad lines would win me anything.

mikes wanton rage August 25 2008 1:52 AM EDT

"not risking my projecting myself as a arrogant cocky tool with bad lines would win me anything."

Maybe you're not an arrogant cocky tool, but your lines are bad.

QBOddBird August 25 2008 2:03 AM EDT

Yes, I believe he said that.

You can diss the boasts of others, but at the first hint of flaming I'll start handing out DQ's.

Just so everyone plays nice. :)

Ernest-Scribbler August 25 2008 4:15 AM EDT

Luckily i said twice " bad lines ". I wasn't trying to win the nobel prize for literature. When i do write some thing worth critique, i will be sure to let you all know:)

mikes wanton rage August 26 2008 11:27 AM EDT

I beat Stephen Hawking in a race to the end of the block.
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like "It's better than yours."
I once made Janet Reno feel like a sexy, sexy woman.
Brittney Spears got all fat and shaved her head when I stopped talking to her. Her career got a little rebound when I started returning her text messages again.

QBOddBird August 27 2008 12:05 AM EDT this all the entry I'm going to get? C'mon. Step it up just a little.

j'bob August 27 2008 12:29 AM EDT

Well, I could take the easy route and just state the obvious...
I AM Buddy Lee, Man of Action. That really should just end this little contest right there. But, for non believers or those who just don't understand I will give you a bit more... possibly more than you can handle so please, sit back, strap yourself in to something... ANYTHING... and prepare to begin to scratch the surface of the AWESOMENESS that is...
As if being B. Lee were not enough, I am also (begin dramatic echo effect) j'bob!
Again, that could be enough but wait... THERE'S MORE.
It is a little known fact that I am also the walrus. Koo Koo Ka Choo.
I have been to the edge and looked down, and I liked what I saw.
I have stood where man has not stood for ages.
I have spoken with the turtle and I know why.
I know why. Some others may know why as well, but I also know why not.
I have seen your dreams and I know why you weep.
I speak with the wind and LISTEN to the sky.
I have looked to the four corners and seen nothing.
I embrace the joy and the misery of this life equally because I can.
I see the darkness in the light and the light where there is none.
And I love.

mikes wanton rage August 27 2008 11:12 PM EDT

I just finished watching the DNC, and now I'd rather vote for you. You should run for office j'bob. At least state comptroller or something.

Lochnivar August 27 2008 11:29 PM EDT

Where do I begin....

To the uninitiated my brilliance is actually difficult to grasp.
I am so smart that you can't understand even my least developed theories.
I am so funny that it will take until your great-great-grandchildren before your DNA understands my humour.
I can bend light, it is the only way to mute my beauty to the point at which I will not blind you.
Time exists merely so people can measure the miserable increments of their life not spent in my presence.
Ringo Starr was the fifth Beatle: I was the first one.
I taught Van Gogh how to paint... and he cut off his ear I told him to.
I can complete expert minesweeper in less time than it takes the game to load.
During a trip to Vegas I decided to play roulette. I bet on yellow and still won.

Now you may say to yourself 'Loch must think he is the center of the universe'. That is not true.
I am, however, quite sure that I am a lot closer to it than the rest of you.

Lochnivar August 27 2008 11:31 PM EDT

oh, and this makes it official
Lochnivar (Anbhas) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) $200000 -- entry fee 11:30 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) A Set of Noldorin Spellcasters ($67643) -- entry fee 11:30 PM EDT

Blooderfly August 28 2008 1:11 AM EDT

As a humble me makes way to thee, up the line for all to see. For loch you begin with your brilliance to last with mine eyes closed and your skill so vast. To bob sweet bob American well, Man of action without you twas cb be like hell, your ageless stance and wind whispered words your angelic sight I feel absurd. Our mike sweet mike your milkshake be the tip of the top thank you for the blessed return of the "queen of Pop" But alas again up, the vine to Ryu, sweet fellow, servitude under you to bow and respect, I can only ask that there is time left, to speak of Steve man of great, Gates is still mad that you surpassed him by all, Ernest how proud to be a father of THE MAN,, yet are the reason that waffles are grand, Again to ryu, for none the sender, can be so adapt at our Carnage Blender... To all you thanks, for such sweet ribbed lines... For to boast out loud is simply a whine... I ask you now that the winner be... not those who shout their worth, but those that can see, that even in jest those women we be, for even with all your boast, we still have the chests that you never will see

QBOddBird August 28 2008 8:48 PM EDT

This is a bump. There are 24 hours to go according to Rule #5 - but if I receive a couple good entries, I may extend it a little bit to let latecomers in.

I really hope this contest gets more entries. This kind of weak showing will mean no more annual boasting contests. There's no point to doing it if nobody wants to play, and it isn't hard to do.

Lochnivar August 28 2008 11:35 PM EDT

Blooderfly reminded me:

I also have x-ray vision. ;)

QBOddBird August 29 2008 1:18 PM EDT

Last chance!

Remember you can make multiple boasts...

Blooderfly August 29 2008 1:27 PM EDT

Ahh I was told to Post the items i offered to the pot.. So I shall CB1]Gun (Bob) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) $10000 -- for fly's chest ;p Aug 28 Blooderfly (Eris) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) $300000 Aug 28 Blooderfly (Eris) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) A Fire Familiar ($44760) Aug 28 Blooderfly (Eris) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) An Elven Stiletto ($6755) Aug 28 Blooderfly (Eris) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) An Elven Stiletto ($6755) Aug 28 Blooderfly (Eris) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) An Elven Stiletto ($6755)

j'bob August 29 2008 1:42 PM EDT

Here's a timely boast post...


WORD. (to your moms, I came to drop bombs)
I'm going to give the pot something now.


Lochnivar August 29 2008 9:39 PM EDT

OB I feel I owe you an apology.

It appears that the entire populace of CB was scared off by the prospect of my participation (with a few notable, {though completely over-matched} exceptions).

What happen to good old vanity? Have CBers become meek and modest?

I will pay each new entrant 50K if they make a decent effort at extolling their own virtues.

LuisOrtiz August 29 2008 10:19 PM EDT

As far as east is from the west, even more so am I better than Lochnivar. Need I say any more? Of course not, but I will.

My intelligence stretches as far as an irrational number.

My strength is greater than the pull beyond a boack hole's event horizon.

My good will allows me to even like Sal.

Peace yo.

LuisOrtiz August 29 2008 10:21 PM EDT

LuisOrtiz (MrMage) QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) $200000 -- Boast Entry fee 10:21 PM EDT

QBOddBird August 29 2008 10:21 PM EDT

In order to give Loch a chance to make good his offer, and to give others a chance to take him up on it, I will extend this contest until noon server time tomorrow.

This was the last boasting contest. I will not run another one.

DrAcO5676 [The Knighthood III] August 30 2008 12:00 PM EDT

So you think you are all that Loch? Well I'll have you know that you have nothing one me!
You believe that you you have no theories or you would be on top of CB...
You can't grasp the concept that someone (Me) Is better than you... or your whole world would collapse...
I am and always will be better than you in all ways and will never give you the satisfaction to think that you are better than me in anything you do.
If I was just a little less lazy I could have wrote a big ole spiel about how much cooler I am than you and how much better I am than you but guess what... I don't need to... your boasts are useless and meaningless... but that is fine by me I will still tell more if there is more time for you to respond.

DrAcO5676 [The Knighthood III] August 30 2008 12:17 PM EDT

I have more talent in my little finger than you have in your entire body...
I have made Ranger quit due to my overuse of Evasion...
I have made Sefton give up on Boasting because he knew I was gonna be joining in yet again this year and taking the win...
I was the one that let Monte get away with everything he did cause I felt sorry for him...
I am the one letting Crackmonkey come back just to give the community a laugh...
I am the one telling Jon what to change just so it benefits me and no one else...
I am the one that taught Bast how to correct grammar...
And I will always be better than anyone else... just cause I am your master! Now bow down to the Master of Boasts!

QBOddBird August 30 2008 1:17 PM EDT

Contest over; judges are sending me their picks for winner.

QBOddBird August 30 2008 2:31 PM EDT

The judges' votes are in:

In second place, Ryuzaki; and in first place, Lochnivar!

QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) Lochnivar (Anbhas) An Elven Stiletto ($6755) -- Boasting Winner! 2:30 PM EDT
QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) Lochnivar (Anbhas) An Elven Stiletto ($6755) -- Boasting Winner! 2:30 PM EDT
QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) Lochnivar (Anbhas) An Elven Stiletto ($6755) -- Boasting Winner! 2:30 PM EDT
QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) Lochnivar (Anbhas) $1500000 -- Boasting Winner! 2:30 PM EDT
QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) Lochnivar (Anbhas) A Set of Noldorin Spellcasters ($67643) -- Boasting Winner! 2:30 PM EDT
QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) Lochnivar (Anbhas) A Fire Familiar ($44760) -- Boasting Winner! 2:30 PM EDT
QBOddBird (Safety Deposit Box) Ryuzaki (Remembrance[Ranger]) $500000 -- Boasting Runnerup! 2:29 PM EDT

Congratulations Boasting Contest Winners!

Lochnivar August 30 2008 9:31 PM EDT

Thank you OB & judges....

And true to my word...
(blooderfly got a little extra because I liked her....'boasts')

From IP To What When
Lochnivar (Anbhas) Blooderfly (Eris) An Elven Stiletto ($6755) -- for the breast boast 9:21 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) Blooderfly (Eris) $100000 -- for the breast boast 9:21 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) DrAcO5676 (Oxcha) $50000 -- boasted! 9:18 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) LuisOrtiz (MrMage) $50000 -- boasted! 9:18 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) j'bob (The Crow) $50000 -- boasted! 9:16 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) mikes wanton rage
(High Plains Drifter) $50000 -- boasted! 9:15 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) stevebat (monstermachine) $50000 -- boasted! 9:14 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) Ernest-Scribbler (Scion) $50000 -- boasted! 9:13 PM EDT
Lochnivar (Anbhas) Ryuzaki (Remembrance[Ranger]) $50000 -- boasted! 9:12 PM EDT

Blooderfly September 2 2008 12:18 AM EDT

A late reply but I will post anyway.. after thinking it over its what I should have posted

I one of the reasons that 10% of young felony holding adults can get jobs and change their ways of theft and violence to be useful members of society, I am the one who sits 11 hours a day in a learning institution aiding those who are seeking to better themselves. I am one of the few who work not for money but to aide the future of our economy and help abolish the stereotype that is the African American urban adult. I am a woman who understands computers and more so am a woman who enjoys video games.. I am one of the 38% of the female population.. that is like everyone on here A GAMER

Ryuzaki September 2 2008 12:23 AM EDT

I think you forgot about this part.
I am gamer, hear me roar!

Blooderfly September 2 2008 12:24 AM EDT

Yea Add Ryu's post to Mine. I enjoy this community, Thank you all for giving me an outlet while between classes and tutoring
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