Things on CB that make you laugh (in Contests)

QBOddBird December 13 2010 1:19 PM EST

Every once in a while, when I'm browsing through old CB topics, I'll find an old conversation that makes me laugh. For example, just a moment ago I ran into this short exchange with Bast:

QBBast August 12 2008 10:19 AM EDT
I will not hug a shouter.

QBOB August 12 2008 10:20 AM EDT
But would you hug me?

QBBast August 12 2008 10:22 AM EDT
No. We've been over this. You have the grabby hands.

...and it made me snicker.

So this contest, for a measly 100k and a pair of AGs (I'm poor, wait until I get all rich and stuff and I'll offer some better prizes) is to find me some funny quotes or conversations from CB threads past.

They don't have to include you, or me, or anyone in particular. I just wanna look at old threads and smile. Just post the quote, link to the thread, and you've entered! I'll pick one or two that amuse me, and prizes will be handed out. Simple!

I look forward to seeing the entries! :D

QBOddBird December 13 2010 1:21 PM EST

Oh, and the thread it came from, to follow my own rules:

Lochnivar December 13 2010 1:37 PM EST

Hehe... you asked for it:

So I called OB's mom to see if she could help enlighten her son....
She said, and I quote:
"Boy why's you tryin to learn that boy anything. He been slow since the day he was born. Boy spent the whole first grade going backwards he that slow. Bought him a pet turtle when he's 12 and it ran away from him. Every clock in the house had to be set 20 minutes fast just so's by the time he finished reading it he'd know the right time. Matter of fact, he's 19 when he showed up for his 15th birthday. Boy you got your work cut out for you I do declare!"

So there we have it, at least we know what you're up against Blooderfly.

This made me smile because I got 2 +5s for it, one in the thread and one in chat.

Newlin [SeeD] December 13 2010 5:02 PM EST

That is great Loch!

These are just some things that gave me a chuckle in chat back in July.

[03:30] <Newlin> Haha, yes every teenagers dream. To cook for his wonderful family
[03:30] <Lochnivar> ^ not the teenagers I date
[03:30] <Natasha'> i had fun doing it...
[03:30] <InebriatedArsonist> You date teenagers, Loch?
[03:31] <Natasha'> i have always loved making pizza from scratch for everyone
[03:31] <InebriatedArsonist> Someone alert the schools!
[03:31] <Natasha'> 18 is still a teen
[03:31] <Lochnivar> not all the time... just like I don't have ice cream all the time... but you know, as a treat
[03:31] <Lochnivar> so is 19
[03:31] <Lochnivar> huh.... in hindsight that sounded creepy

[03:25] <Lochnivar> you know what the easiest/most expensive way to prepare a meal is?
[03:25] <Newlin> ?
[03:25] <Lochnivar> marriage

[03:42] <Lochnivar> so... you can all settle a debate for me: I say sniping hobos is a victimless crime, my brother says we still need to hide the bodies. Who's right here?
[03:43] <ScrObot> use incendiary rounds and the debate is moot

Lochnivar December 13 2010 5:27 PM EST

I plead not guilty to the items listed above as I don't feel I should be held responsible for things that I didn't think would be recorded/remembered...

... and those aren't even my bad chat comments.

A Lesser AR of 15 [Red Permanent Assurance] December 13 2010 7:25 PM EST

<edyit> beer is proof that god loves me and wants me to be happy
<G_Beee> lol, indeed
<^Seph|ro[T]h> What about hangovers?
<{CB1}Slayer333> punishment for not inviting God.

<HardcoreAfiFan> who live in ohio say, EYE!
<[CB1]Gun> oooo we could meet up at the local Hot Topic :)
<HardcoreAfiFan> and i loooovvveee hot topic
<HardcoreAfiFan> oh and by the way gun, yes im 12
<[CB1]Gun> yeah OB won that bet

<Bast> Sometimes I think there's too much Ritalin, sometimes I think there's not enough.

* bartjan wonders who's wrinkles he's risking...
* [CB1]Gun looks to Bast for that answer
* Bast would lift a brow inquiringly, but Botox has made that impossible.

QBOddBird December 14 2010 1:38 PM EST

That makes me miss Bast in chat.

Also, bump! This is nowhere near enough entries, and only one of them has been a forum thread entry!

PearsonTritonRaveshaw December 14 2010 2:32 PM EST

Bast! Return to us! Chat is an unchained libido outlet without your good humor to control it!

{cb1}dyno December 14 2010 3:11 PM EST

Not sure how to hyperlink it - I don't have much, but I remember that haiku contest being one of the memorable ones. A couple got a chuckle from me :)

QBOddBird December 15 2010 10:39 AM EST

Only 2 entries?

Kefeck [Demonic Serenity] December 15 2010 11:10 AM EST

Leave it to loch!

[11:08] <Lochnivar> for goodness sake how is that people come in through front door of the hotel, and then they go to leave and they can't get it open? ~sigh~
[11:08] <Tal_Destra> maybe a sign?
[11:08] <Tal_Destra> put a push sign on it
[11:08] <The_Card_Master> lol, loch

QBPit Spawn [Abyssal Specters] December 15 2010 11:38 AM EST

[11:36] <novice> it's hard, and long

BluBBen December 15 2010 11:49 AM EST

*maybe* in response to Nov

[17:48] <Lochnivar> size doesn't matter

QBOddBird December 16 2010 12:01 AM EST

You guys did read the OP, right? There have still only been 2 entries.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] December 16 2010 12:45 AM EST

Best threads to be found will likely include the word "scisors" or something close to it.

Instead, I offer:

Kriegor191 has joined the room.
- New Players: Welcome back to CB, Kriegor191
* InebriatedArsonist found an instructional video for something he'd like to try.
<Bast> Flowbee?
<InebriatedArsonist> [random URL here]
<Bast> Working.
<InebriatedArsonist> Ah, yes, I forgot.
<InebriatedArsonist> California Roll Uramaki.
<Kriegor191> I have a question: It [the page] is giving me an error on the left hand margin what can I do to fix it?
<InebriatedArsonist> I guess you could try to refresh the page.
<Bast> IE? Exit. Begin again.
<Kriegor191> It's the "The page cannot be displayed" error, and I've tried that *sigh
<Kriegor191> Tried that too *sigh
Kriegor191 left the room.
Kriegor191 has joined the room.
- New Players: Welcome back to CB, Kriegor191
<Kriegor191> still don't work *sulks in corner*
<Bast> *doesn't
<Kriegor191> no I mean I still don't work
<Kriegor191> deja vu
<Kriegor191> weird
<Kriegor191> bast must be a teacher
<Bast> No, just a native English speaker.
<Kriegor191> neither refreshing nor exiting IE works
<Kriegor191> well i'm from NC so I speak southern and I'm not sorry
<Bast> Switch to Firefox.
<Bast> That just begs for "Well, no. You are. You just don't know it." ;)
<Kriegor191> sure whynot
<Kriegor191> Ok, I am not sorry and I DONT apologize
<Kriegor191> is that better?
<Bast> No, that's more of the same plus a statement of lack of apology. :P
<Kriegor191> my friend has this joke, if you say "I'm sorry" then he says "I know you are sorry I would like an apology" or something of that nature
<InebriatedArsonist> Bast loves Southerners.
<Kriegor191> Hey so do I
<Bast> Precisely! "I'm sorry." "Yes, one of the sorriest specimens of my acquaintance. Feel free to apologize at your convenience." ;)
<Kriegor191> something along those lines, have any of you seen the ad for Hooters, sorry saw this today, "Only a rooster gets a better piece of chicken!" I lost it! No not my sanity, dignity, etc...I laughed really hard
* Bast doesn't say it.
<Kriegor191> whatever
<Kriegor191> i'm gonna go get foxfire now, b/c apparently it's good
<InebriatedArsonist> There's a lady present, you know.
<Bast> Southern manners are as mythical as the hospitality.
<Kriegor191> no I obviously don't know, I mean the day I can tell if you're a lady or not through the internet will be a great day indeed.
<InebriatedArsonist> You wouldn't happen to be from Hickory, would you?
<Kriegor191> No, I would not
<Kriegor191> I have manners but the anonymity of the internet doesn't require me to use them
<InebriatedArsonist> Well, Firefox is a good choice.
<Kriegor191> :P
<Bast> One good "ur dum" and we'll have hit all the high points, no?
<InebriatedArsonist> You shouldn't let the Yankees here have the high ground.
<Kriegor191> I don't know what has your hypothetical panties in a knot but whatever it is get them undone please
<Bast> Rest assured, you are having no effect on my panties.
<Kriegor191> Soooooo, ur a woman? That explains EVERYTHING!!!
* Bast frowns on shouting.
<Kriegor191> That wasn't shouting, it was emphasis
<Kriegor191> try again please
<Bast> Emphasis is a matter of _careful_ delineation.
* Bast frowns on shouting.
<InebriatedArsonist> As far as we can tell, Bast is female.
<Kriegor191> I apologize for my lack of underscores but it's easier for me to type in caps instead of reaching for that button, I don't have to look when I type
* InebriatedArsonist is off to find food.
<Bast> Sure, _now_ you abandon me.
<InebriatedArsonist> I told you an hour ago.
<Kriegor191> * snickers
<Kriegor191> whatever
<Kriegor191> brb
<Bast> Yo should have gone _then_!
Kriegor191 left the room.
<InebriatedArsonist> Yo?
<Bast> *You
<InebriatedArsonist> Are you feeling all right?
<Bast> Now I am bordering on a tremendously unwelcoming rant re: saying one can't speak English because one is from the South is like saying one _should_ be an idiot if one is 17.
<Bast> And claiming to have manners but then using them only when one can be judged on a face-to-face basis for it belies the very nature of "manners".
<Bast> And claiming that shouting at people is just "easier" is ... asinine.
<InebriatedArsonist> Maybe he got the "are you from Hickory" jibe.
<Bast> If he hadn't specified N.C., I would have sworn Norfolk.
<InebriatedArsonist> Reminds you of someone, eh.
<Bast> Boatloads of them.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] December 16 2010 12:51 AM EST

Not to bring up anybody's bad memories, but:

<NightStrike> anyway ever have an intense desire for intensity?
<NightStrike> Hey, any ops around?
<NightStrike> OpVines has a question.......
<RaptorX> when I want intensity -- I use a colored marker.
<Flamey> Ankh and SNK
<NightStrike> I don't think that kinda thing helps
<NightStrike> I have never seen SNK actually at his keyboard
<RaptorX> intense color
<RaptorX> life is usually too intense anyway.
<Flamey> He's American.
<NightStrike> Intensity as in.... that heartpounding action that makes adrenaline flow through your veins like chocolate in Wonka's factory
<Flamey> Lol.
<NightStrike> the kinda thing where at the end of the day, you feel like you accomplished enough to topple the world
<NightStrike> When in reality, maybe you didn't do anything more than help a guy out or make a few bucks.... but the sweat and blood and tears make things seem so much more
<NightStrike> and in truth, they really are so much more in your little world
<NightStrike> I need to feel alive again
<NightStrike> quickly
Slashundhack has joined the room.
<NightStrike> Slash.... you agree with me, right?
<NightStrike> ...that's what I thoguht
<Slashundhack> Uh
<Flamey> Lol.
<NightStrike> Slash, think of your userpic
<NightStrike> It's a lot like that
<Flamey> NS seems to be on some sort of chat rant.
<Slashundhack> then I agree
<NightStrike> I bet you that [la la la la la] has more to blog about at the end of the day than the Prince of ShaHir... her life might be encompassed by murderous ravagings instigated by her never-quenched lust for death and destruction, but all in all we can at least acknowledge the fact that she not only enjoys what she does, but gets a thrill from it large enough to warrant converting her hands into the very tools neccessary for her lifelong task of exterminating the human race
<NightStrike> That's noble
NightStrike left the room.
- carnage: Ankh-Weasel has kicked NightStrike out of the room
<Ankh-Weasel> So, like. How's it going?
<Flamey> LOL.
<Slashundhack> I'm confused
<Flamey> hi ankhy
<Ankh-Weasel> Howdy.
<Slashundhack> was it a bad love affair?
<Flamey> I don't know.

A Lesser AR of 15 [Red Permanent Assurance] December 16 2010 4:46 AM EST

I'll see your threads with a look back at bad history...
The classics...
And raise you...Mushu!

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] December 16 2010 8:50 AM EST

Admins were awesomer back then

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] December 16 2010 8:59 AM EST

an old pic thread

QBOddBird December 16 2010 10:30 AM EST

Ahhhh, Gun, I had forgotten about that thread. I love it.

u dont HAVE any friends, and even if u had at least one IMMAGIONARY one, then he couldnt even hack into CB. and CB is so protected, that the FBI and CIA and all them people couldnt even hack into it if they got every single person in thier coorperation to try! so good luck (your really gunna need it)!

QBOddBird December 16 2010 10:38 AM EST

Mmm, this gem too:
I can report you to the FBI, they will get your IP adress, then locate you and you will probably be grounded for a few months.

Fuhgawz December 16 2010 12:52 PM EST


QBBast [Hidden Agenda] December 16 2010 11:41 PM EST

This amused me:

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] December 17 2010 12:25 AM EST

SNK for the win:

A Lesser AR of 15 [Red Permanent Assurance] December 30 2010 3:38 PM EST

<CrazedRaveSnappedOMJ> now i know what a hangover feels like, been drinking for 2 days

PearsonTritonRaveshaw December 30 2010 5:31 PM EST

Rave have ultra hard head! Rave smash!

QBOddBird December 30 2010 11:32 PM EST

Eh, guess I'm going to let this keep going in case anyone feels like doing anything in it.

PearsonTritonRaveshaw December 31 2010 2:28 PM EST

[18:38] <Banaritaz> My gift to you, Rave.
- Banaritaz grants op status to [CB1]Gun
[18:38] <CrazedRaveSnappedOMJ> w000000000000h!!!!!
- Banaritaz has kicked Banaritaz out of the room

When is that CoC buff coming? GW promised me Jon would implement it!
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