Corrupt A Wish (in Off-topic)

Gender Bender January 4 2006 3:53 PM EST

This is a thread a buddy of mine posted on another game, we all found it rather amusing given people actually participate.

Okay this is how it goes I say I wish for a $1 and you say something like

"Granted, but the dollar is in yen"
"I wish for a dog"

Next person:
"Granted, but the dog is dead and decaying"

Got it? Good... (corrupt the previous person's wish then make your own!)

I wish I had a mansion and a new car.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 4 2006 3:59 PM EST

You get your car, it's a 1968 Datusun with no tires, it doubles as your "mansion"

I wish the old thread with this game was still going on CB1

QBRanger January 4 2006 3:59 PM EST

Your mansion is in the middle of Beruit, your new car is a Yugo put together with duct tape.

I wish I won the lottery.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 4 2006 4:00 PM EST

You win the Lottery, Jon does a rescale.

QBRanger January 4 2006 4:01 PM EST

You can still play cb1, however your the only one who can log in.

chernobyl January 4 2006 4:18 PM EST

The CB1 thread is re-opened, but you have to log in to post.

I wish I had a faster computer.

Karmic Mishap [Soup Ream] January 4 2006 4:26 PM EST

You get a faster computer, but it's a Trusted Computing prototype and you aren't allowed to run anything without buying a new license every week.

I wish I had a job that paid more.

AdminShade January 4 2006 4:27 PM EST

you have a faster computer, but it's so big that you cant put it in your house.

i wish for world peace

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 4 2006 4:31 PM EST

Whirled peas flood the earth

I wish there was gonna be a second firefly movie...

QBsutekh137 January 4 2006 4:33 PM EST

There is a second Firefly movie. A documentary on...fireflies.

I wish I was a little bit taller.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 4 2006 4:37 PM EST

@ Karmic;

Granted, you get a brand spanking new Job that pays loads mroe money. Unfortunatly all the extra money and more is taken as child care payments for the love child you never knew came into existance from a drunken fumble many years ago...

@ Shade;

Granted, the wolrd no longer wars with itself and all weapons are destroyed. You are hailed as the savior of mankind. Years later, a breed of savage spider monkey's gain sentience. Aided by their slave race of funky dancing chickens they decide to rule the world. Without any weapons, humans are powerless and easily defeated. You are reviled by the human race as it's greatest faliure, and the spider monky's dress you up in a chicken suit and add you to thier slaves. The slave race of funky dancing chickens don't like you either.

I wish I could down a yard of Ale without spilling any!

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 4 2006 4:39 PM EST

You down a yard of ale, it's coors light.

I wish I had a spider monkey!

[T]Vestax January 4 2006 4:42 PM EST

You down a yard of ale without spilling any. You become famous for it. You are rushed around on a world tour. You get involved in drugs, rock-n-roll, and cough drops. Your popularity plummets and you become a homeless penniless wreck for the rest of your life.

I wish I could fly.

(The old thread of this game on CB2)

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 4 2006 4:45 PM EST

You fly, into U.S. airspace, the obvious happens and you plummet to your doom

I still want that darn monkey!

Quark January 4 2006 4:49 PM EST

You get your monkey, but he uses your computer to open a second CB account and you are reset for being a multi.

I wish all CB'ers would get along.

QBBarzooMonkey January 4 2006 4:52 PM EST

novice has a spider monkey, but it carries the ebola virus and he is blamed for wiping out half of his town's population

Vestax can fly, but he gets too close to a 777's engine and gets sucked in...

I can't corrupt G's wish, 'cuz I wish for that, too...

I wish I could have pizza for dinner today :)

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 4 2006 5:48 PM EST

@ Sute.

Granted, you become a little bit taller. You also become a baller. You also get a girl who looks good and you call her. You also get a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four impala. Also, everyday becomes a Friday and you can speed on the highway.

Skee-lo executes you gang land style in a fit or jealous rage.

@ G & B.

Granted, all CBers get along. So well Jon invites us all over for a get together at his house. While there, after a few shandies, Johnnywas pesters G_B to see what's under his kilt and in the ensuing mayhem the CB2 server get's unplugged. The DB corrupts, and the physical backup was earlier dunked int he bowl of punch as a prank. CB2 never comes on line again.

QBJohnnywas January 4 2006 6:12 PM EST

Barzoo gets his pizza but it turns him from a monkey into a pound of ground beef. The pizza parlour scoop him up and make him into topping for a dozen pizzas that have been ordered by the poker game down the street.

I wish I could have not read this thread, so that I could have avoided the trauma of wondering why GL is imagining me looking up G Beee's kilt.

Especially as I have to spend a cold weekend in hell with a dozen Scotsmen at the end of the month....and miss G Beee coming to London

Thraklight Resonance January 4 2006 7:09 PM EST

Johnnywas misses reading this thread, but only because G Beee is blocking his ability to work outside the kilt.

I wish for CB2 to get a visit from Trouser Python sometime during the upcoming year.

sssimmo January 4 2006 7:21 PM EST

You get your trouser python, but you jump in a cold swimming pool and it shrinks.

I wish it was Christmas again.

RedWolf January 4 2006 7:47 PM EST

it is christmas again, you get to spend another day in your grandma's freezing cold house and get many smooches from your grandma and all your auntss. and you get a box of coal :-P

I wish i had more free time to spend on cb..

Gothicknight January 4 2006 7:54 PM EST

You get your free time to play cb, but then cb is shut down too.

I wish this thread would end.

sssimmo January 4 2006 8:12 PM EST

It ends. But I keep it going by saying:

I wish AJ would change his name.

Gender Bender January 4 2006 8:17 PM EST

Granted, AJ changes his name to sssimmo2.
I wish my credit card bills were zero'ed

{CB1}Carp King January 4 2006 8:30 PM EST

Your credit cards are zero'ed but you get a 9 in front of all 10 zero's at 10.9%.

I wish that this thread doesn't last as long as the one that was on CB1.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 4 2006 8:49 PM EST

Granted: This thread doesn't last as long as CB1's did, but it also isn't a 10th as entertaining.

I wish someone else's gum, prechewed, wasn't submerged in my bottle of water.

TheEverblacksky January 4 2006 9:09 PM EST

Granted: But you find that it is not gum, but the remnants of chewing tobacco in your water. Shortly afterwards you puke yourself to death.

I wish i had Rangers character :) NW and all

hammer killem January 4 2006 9:09 PM EST

it wasnt gum, it was a plug of C4 (the explosive) and blew up sending glass shards flying like shrapnel.

I wish Texas would beat USC

QBRanger January 4 2006 9:11 PM EST

And right after you get my character, Jon does a "rescale".

I wish the NUB gets its proper nerf...into the toilet.

Kefeck [Demonic Serenity] January 4 2006 9:21 PM EST

And then kittys mpr grows to be twice as much as rangers character due to the increased percentages in the nub.

I wish I did not have school.

TheEverblacksky January 4 2006 9:28 PM EST

you find out that you don't have to goto school. But you have just been decided you should be home schooled. You become homeless. Good Luck.

I Wish i had a ferari

Kefeck [Demonic Serenity] January 4 2006 9:30 PM EST

you finally get your ferrarri but is very dissappointed to realize it is a hot wheel.

I wish I was not homeless

Flamey January 4 2006 9:47 PM EST

you got your wish your not homeless, you live in a cardboard box.

i wish i had the internet

Gender Bender January 4 2006 10:30 PM EST

Granted, you get the internet as well as all of its possible pop-ups, start clicking that X.

I wish for a time machine.

velo January 4 2006 11:08 PM EST

You get a wristwatch.

I wish I wasn't on fire.

Flamey January 4 2006 11:12 PM EST

your not on fire now your drowning

i wish i could eat some ice-cream

sssimmo January 4 2006 11:18 PM EST

Granted. You are eating jelapeno flavoured ice cream.

I wish my toe wasn't broken anymore.

Stephen January 4 2006 11:47 PM EST

Your toe isn't broken but your leg is

I wish my stapler had staples in it

Bootsanator January 4 2006 11:58 PM EST

granted. your stapler has staples, in it, but your uptight boss wants your report held together with a paper clip.

I wish I wasn't such a slacker.

[MG]Mecca-Devilbot [Clan of One] January 5 2006 1:37 AM EST

Granted. your not a slacker, but you have 2 hours of extra work form your boss for being such a good employee

I wish that i was always happy

Halcyon January 5 2006 2:41 AM EST

Granted your always happy, but thats what drugs do to you ...

I wish Bush didn't get elected ...

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 5 2006 3:28 AM EST

Granted: Bush wasn't elected, world peace breaks out.

I wish radio was still free.

PirateKing January 5 2006 3:30 AM EST

Granted: But it's still boring as hell.

I wish the next poster would wish me all their best wishes.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 5 2006 3:42 AM EST

You get all my best wishes, I come looking for them.

I wish I could fit under a rock...

MaLicious [Ascendancy] January 5 2006 3:52 AM EST

You can fit under a rock but it is very uncomfortable and you end up getting back problems.

I wish my DBs were (+100)

QBJohnnywas January 5 2006 4:30 AM EST

Your DBs are +100 and you wake to find you gave them to me overnight.

I wish I could give up work and live a life of luxury.

gooey muppet January 5 2006 5:06 AM EST

Your life of luxury consists of three free meals a day, a free bed and a new roomate named bubba.

I wish i had the biggest sombrero in the world.

PirateKing January 5 2006 5:08 AM EST

Granted: You are locked up in the most luxurious 10' x 10' room for the rest of your life.

I wish I had a decent wish.

PirateKing January 5 2006 5:09 AM EST

Curse you, Muppet! For being a faster typist than myself.

QBBarzooMonkey January 5 2006 9:33 AM EST

BigDaddyMuppet has the biggest sombrero in the world, but it is delivered via helicopters, and crushes his home when they drop it off.

Pirate King has a decent wish, but it doesn't get granted.

I wish for this thread to be twice as long as the one on CB1, and 10X more interesting :)

chernobyl January 5 2006 11:59 AM EST

The thread goes on, and continues to be hilarious, but BarzooMonkey gets suspended for inviting forum spam and thusly misses it all.

I wish I had a metal spork.

PirateKing January 5 2006 12:02 PM EST

Granted: But you failed to specify WHERE you wanted that spork.... ouch!

I wish I had an Oscar Meyer Weiner.(keep it clean, you sickos)

Relic January 5 2006 12:14 PM EST

Granted, but the Oscar Meyer Hot Dog is so small, you buy a big truck to compensate.

I wish my cough would go away.

QBJohnnywas January 5 2006 12:21 PM EST

your cough goes away. It takes your tongue with it on holiday to the Bahamas. Where they are sold to a tourist on a cruise.

I wish I had a new computer

Relic January 5 2006 12:23 PM EST

You get your computer but it is a computer from the 70's that takes up your whole house and can only do simple math.

I wish I had my mortgage paid off for me.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 5 2006 12:27 PM EST

Granted: Your mortgage is paid off, but Ranger and clan then also move in with you.

I wish it were unseasonably warm, presently.

QBJohnnywas January 5 2006 12:37 PM EST

It becomes unseasonably warm but you get sunburn.

I wish my feet didn't hurt.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 5 2006 12:39 PM EST

Your feet go numb and fall off

I wish I was listening to the song Johnny Was right now...

QBJohnnywas January 5 2006 12:41 PM EST

you hear the song Johnnywas but it's by a bad hardcore/reggae band. You wander into the mosh pit and get your head knocked off by somebody's elbow.

I wish I had a Big Mac and fries.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 5 2006 12:43 PM EST

You have a big mac, and fries (didn't you see supersize me, that's bad enough already!)

I wish for more wishes!

Relic January 5 2006 12:49 PM EST

You get more wishes, but you use your next wish to have your Mother-In-Law live with you.

I wish for a yummy slice of Cheesecake.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 5 2006 12:52 PM EST

"mmm Cheesecake, huh this tastes funny, whaddya mean sugar free?"

I wish for a Monkey Knife Fight!

chappy [Soup Ream] January 5 2006 12:54 PM EST

Granted: But it's the band The Monkey's ... now who wants to see that?

I wish I had another 3 day weekend..

Quark January 5 2006 1:12 PM EST

You get a 3 day weekend, but spend it sick with a nasty flu. The flu is so bad that you hallucinate while trying to burn BA, accidentally sell all your gear to the store, and xfer your cash to me. Upon getting better, realizing what you've done, you angrily smash your PC which causes it to fall on the floor, pulling the power socket with it. The socket shorts and catches the wood frame walls on fire, igniting the house. You narrowly leave with your life, get charged with negligence, and thrown in jail for 6 months, where you run into Max. Max unfortunately now carries the nickname "Bubba" and you spend 6 very long, painful months in the slammer. When you get out, your girlfriend / wife left you, all your stuff has been repo'd to pay for the damage caused to the neighbors by the fire, and you're peniless.

I wish I could log on to chat from work and waste even more time.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 5 2006 1:14 PM EST

"You're fired!"

I wish G would stop farming me...

Quark January 5 2006 1:53 PM EST

I stop farming you, but only because that darn monkey got you reset again.

I wish this Canadian election wasn't so snarky.

QBBarzooMonkey January 5 2006 2:00 PM EST

The Canadian election is no longer snarky because Tim Horton returns from the dead a takes over the country, turning it into a Hockeyocracy in which the Ottawa Senators become the ruling party, and the national economy becomes based on donuts and coffee, not money.

I wish I had a Candy Apple Red 1978 Gibson ES 335 Hollowbody.

Quark January 5 2006 2:02 PM EST

You get your snazzy guitar, but then lose both hands in a freak accident involving CB, the Hacker's Diet, a chain saw, and a monkey.

I wish for a Selmer Mark VI Tenor Sax in mint condition!

chappy [Soup Ream] January 5 2006 2:18 PM EST

You find one one eBay for 5gs ('G's .. get it) .. too bad you spent all your money funding your NCB character

I wish that nobody used USD to pay for items / services in CB2

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 5 2006 2:20 PM EST

Euros become the standard of exchange on cb2

I wish I had a Gyro...

BlueWolf January 5 2006 3:04 PM EST

Granted, but your Gyro falls apart when you touch it. (hahaha!)

I wish i had enough money for supportership. (wonder's what will happen*)

TheEverblacksky January 5 2006 4:55 PM EST

Granted: You obtain enough money for supportership. But jon then deletes all non-supporter accounts before he checks his e-mail.

I wish i was Pele.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 5 2006 5:03 PM EST

You become Pele, goddess of futbol for you...

I wish I had another minion, and a full heavy tank setup.

TheEverblacksky January 5 2006 5:09 PM EST

Granted: you get that other minion.... but you delete the current ones you have.... and uhhh about that heavy tank set.... you get it and find out jon reset you for being mean.

I wish i had 11111111111111111111111111111111 dollars

chernobyl January 5 2006 5:32 PM EST

You get your insane amount of money, just in time for the USD to collapse rendering your fortune worthless.

I wish for a single gold bar.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 5 2006 5:40 PM EST

a single bar of gold drops from the sky and lands on your toe...the doctors happily take it as payment...

I want a new deal...

QBBarzooMonkey January 5 2006 5:52 PM EST

You get your new deal - a 2 of hearts, a 5 of spades, an 8 of clubs, a 9 of hearts, and a Jack of diamonds, so you lose everything because you went "all-in" on a silly wish.

I wish I had a horsie.

Adminedyit [Superheros] January 5 2006 6:48 PM EST

granted but it costs so much to keep you end up selling your characters in FS/WTB to feed it.

I wish my items would come back from rentals right now.

TheEverblacksky January 5 2006 8:03 PM EST

Granted, but all your items come to me :)

I wish my clan was in first forever!

Kefeck [Demonic Serenity] January 5 2006 8:09 PM EST

yours and my clan are in first forever then rythgar disbands the clan.

I wish i was the richest cb2 charector.

th00p January 5 2006 8:17 PM EST

You are the richest person in cb2. Then, you quit due to family issues, and give it all to me because i'm your best friend.

I wish i had a Bugatti Veyron.

Adminedyit [Superheros] January 5 2006 8:32 PM EST

i wish i knew what that was

Kefeck [Demonic Serenity] January 5 2006 8:35 PM EST

yah really what is that...

Gothicknight January 5 2006 8:36 PM EST

It's a car me thinks.

I wish for the obvious.

Gender Bender January 5 2006 8:37 PM EST

Granted, you receive a bed in the shape of a Bugetti Veyron. (Beautiful car BTW)
I wish Jon would revive the FoD spell.

Halcyon January 5 2006 9:18 PM EST

Granted, John brings back FoD .. but it's only half as usefull as a Steel Familiar

I wish I had supportership ...

Gender Bender January 5 2006 10:33 PM EST

Granted, you get supportership.... to CB1.

I wish I had a pooper scooper.

RedWolf January 5 2006 11:03 PM EST

granted, but you find yourself walking the neighbor's of them has diarrhea..

i wish my all my friends in RL were as good as the ones on CB :-P

MaLicious [Ascendancy] January 5 2006 11:32 PM EST

Your friends all leave you as you start to realise you actually have no friends in CB :P.

I wish my wish would turn out corrupt

chernobyl January 6 2006 12:11 AM EST

World peace occurs the moment you make your wish.

I wish I had a can of coffee that would never run out.

QBJohnnywas January 6 2006 2:09 AM EST

You have a can of coffee that never runs out but it's decaf. You fall asleep from the lack of caffeine and miss all your BA. When you wake up Jon has made several massive changes to the game but you can't find the changelog and nobody will tell you what those changes are.

I wish I could go back to bed this morning instead of going to work...

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 6 2006 4:32 AM EST

You go back to bed, with your bosses wife. He fires you, and your wife divorces you.

I wish I knew what women want!

Gender Bender January 6 2006 4:32 AM EST

Granted, you become an average female.

I wish for a wish.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 6 2006 4:37 AM EST

You get a wish, but it has a blackout days list of every day til 2075

I wish I had some WD40

QBJohnnywas January 6 2006 4:53 AM EST

You get the WD40, but it doesn't stop the door hinges squeaking. That's because the squeaking is in your head...squeak, squeak, SQUEAK!

I wish I could play music really loudly at work.

(I also wish that Gender Bender hadn't granted GL's wish by turning him into a woman. The thought of GL as a woman is very disturbing. I'm reminded of the Aphex Twin here, only not quite as appealing...)

AdminG Beee January 6 2006 5:02 AM EST

Granted: You get sacked from your current job and start work in the local car wash where you can play music really loudly.

I wish I hadn't arranged to meet GL in London on the 28th (everyone still welcome) given that he is now a "woman".

QBJohnnywas January 6 2006 5:10 AM EST

You stay at home and miss what could have been the best date of your life!

I wish I could get the song 'Carwash' out of my head.

(BTW my local carwash has carwash parties where your car gets cleaned by bikini clad lovelies in the summertime....that sounds like a good place to work...unless they look like GentleLadyLoser...)

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 6 2006 5:16 AM EST

The song carwash leaves your head, all you can think about now is girls in bikini's with bad teeth...

I wish I didn't have to go to bed

Quark January 6 2006 9:36 AM EST

You don't have to go to bed because your bed was repossessed along with all of your other possessions, leaving you out on the street panhandling for change and sleeping on cardboard boxes in alleyways. Crystal meth becomes the diversion of choice, leading to a downward spiral from there ...

I don't really know what to wish for - life is good. So I wish for bonus BA for everyone on CB.

PirateKing January 6 2006 9:41 AM EST

Granted: Jon gives everyone a million BA....... in CB1.

I wish I had a big block of chedder cheese and half a gallon of chocolate milk.

QBBarzooMonkey January 6 2006 9:45 AM EST

You get your chocolate milk & cheese, but as a result of consuming it all at once, you end up with copremesis.

I wish that GL was no longer a woman so that Johnnywas's haunting images will stop.

QBJohnnywas January 6 2006 9:48 AM EST

GL turns back into a man. But the haunting never ends!

I wish I was in the pub so I could clean my brain.

Rathershady January 6 2006 10:18 AM EST

Unfortunately the pub uses harsh, corrosive cleaners and your brain is destroyed forever!!!

I wish for a pony.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 6 2006 10:20 AM EST

Granted, you get teleported to the pub, but are only served drinks from the slops tray! O_O

I wish that G_B would pay for all the alcholic drinks when we meet up on the 28th!

(Hey! If 'm gonna be wished into a chick, you can be assured I'll be a hot chick! ;) )

chappy [Soup Ream] January 6 2006 10:20 AM EST

Granted: The pony, however, had wished to become a mouse through a similar game ... now what are you going to do with a mouse?

I wish I could drink alcohol at work :P

QBBarzooMonkey January 6 2006 11:11 AM EST

The rules are changed at work to allow you to drink alcohol there, but the next day the town you live in passes iron-clad stiff-penaltied prohibition laws.

I wish that Johnny Cash hadn't died yet.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 6 2006 1:40 PM EST

JC lives! (no way to corrupt something that wonderful)

I wish I wasn't such a hairy bugger.

QBJohnnywas January 6 2006 1:53 PM EST

You shave and are no longer hairy. But you also cut your nose off. How do you smell? Terrible.

I wish I knew some decent jokes...

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 6 2006 1:55 PM EST

You now now some jokes, in Korean.

I wish I had a Coke-A-Cola (even if they are made by a wicked company as a front for the CIA)

chappy [Soup Ream] January 6 2006 1:58 PM EST

GRANTED: but the CIA read your post and added a little something extra to your coca-cola ... OUCH

I wish they had internet bars instead of cafes

Gender Bender January 6 2006 2:38 PM EST

Granted, but you are now put behind Internet (jail)Bars for an evasive nacho scam on e-Bay!

I wish for a paper swan.

chappy [Soup Ream] January 6 2006 3:20 PM EST

GRANTED ... you are so overjoyed with your paper swan that you embrace it tightly ... so tightly in fact that it suffocates!!! I know what you're thinking ... paper swans aren't alive ... think again :)

I wish Quark changed his name to 'G'

QBJohnnywas January 6 2006 3:22 PM EST

Quark changes his name to 'G'' but his finger slips and he is known as 'F' for the next month.

I wish it was sunny

chappy [Soup Ream] January 6 2006 3:29 PM EST

is now

I wish the top 7 players in CB2 would sell off most of their stuff and make NCB characters in the same clan

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 6 2006 3:36 PM EST

The top 7 abandon their chars and join forces, cb3 comes out.

I wish I had somewhere interesting to go tonight...

Quark January 6 2006 5:59 PM EST

You find a an envelope slid under your door addressed to you. Inside are to the hottest club in the city, and boy are you excited. You get gussied up in your finest and head down to the club. You walk past a mile long lineup and breeze up to the VIP entrance. The bodyguard looks at your tickets, whispers aside to his partner, and they each open one of the silver doors into the club. You're whisked inside, and upstairs to the private lounge. There you find your ex and a bunch of people who really don't like you at all. They put you in a cage, and you're placed in a private elevator and sent to a secret underground lair. There, horrible experiments are done upon you.

I wish parenting was as easy as it looks on some TV shows.

(As an aside, Quark actually is derived from the chat conversation that first started up when I renamed to G instead of 'G' - a discussion about the elements. I figured I'd go one better and head subatomic. Any reference to wrinkly aliens in a once popular TV show is purely coincidental.)

RedWolf January 6 2006 7:20 PM EST

parenting is easier....but you still suck at it. your neighbor brags at how perfect his kids are :P

i wish i had a kiwi

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 6 2006 7:38 PM EST

Your Kiwi arrives, a 400 pound Maori dude named ralph.

I wish all my spare parts would pull a voltron and form into an epic computer...

QBBarzooMonkey January 6 2006 8:13 PM EST

Oh yeah, it's an epic computer alright. And as it develops its A.I. to astounding levels with blazing speed and uses the internet to connect itself to millions of computers worldwide, you realize that your wish has spawned the RL version of the Borg, and resistance is futile...

I wish Deanna Troi were here, in the low-cut costume, not the high-necked one.

RedWolf January 6 2006 8:58 PM EST

she's there, but its now 50 years in the future

i wish i had an orange loaf

QBPixel Sage January 6 2006 9:01 PM EST

Wish granted, but it happens to be the one you ate yesterday in a... digested form.

I wish my two themes went official.

RedWolf January 6 2006 9:12 PM EST

your themes are official, but on that game...

i wish BMW would not go offline after i tell him im doing trivia :P

[T]Vestax January 6 2006 9:27 PM EST

BMW stays online and nobody goes to do trivia because he's much much cooler.

I wish I discovered cold fusion.

RedWolf January 6 2006 9:30 PM EST

you discover cold fusion, you are on the front of all magazines, all over TV, radio, and walkie talkie frequencies....your ex-wife notices (how could she not), who thought you were dead.

I wish tscm wasn't so confused.

Gender Bender January 7 2006 2:58 AM EST

tscm is no longer confused but rather delusional. This then leads to your death from a high velocity orange which he tried catapulting to his 2 headed pigeon-rat (Simpsons reference!) which lives in Uzbekistan.

I wish I didn't work in 3 hours!

th00p January 7 2006 3:07 AM EST

You don't have work in 3 hours, because your boss calls up to fire you, leaving you homeless. You then wander around aimlessly until eaten alive by nasty scavenger rats.

I wish I was a man-eating shark.

Halcyon January 7 2006 3:35 AM EST

Granted, your a man-eating shark, your 13 inches long, and you'll never get bigger.

I wish I had a REAL wish

chappy [Soup Ream] January 7 2006 8:49 AM EST

GRANTED: Real, the makers of real player and rhapsody, design and engineer a prototype rocket ship meant to blast the Keebler Elves into outer space. This rocket ship they dub Wish. ... enjoy :P

I wish that there was no internet

Adminedyit [Superheros] January 7 2006 10:18 AM EST

granted now you have to face reality

i wish i was rich and happy

BlueWolf January 7 2006 2:37 PM EST

granted: your rich and happy, yet you have no friends to be happy with. you are shot early in life because you are always happy and no one else is.

I wish Jon would let me make the next Carnage Blender game.

th00p January 7 2006 2:42 PM EST

Granted. However, no one likes cb3, and you are banished altogether. We all go back to playing cb2 and you're sent down to live in the fiery pits of the underworld.

I wish I was the smartest person alive.

BlueWolf January 7 2006 2:43 PM EST

your the smartest person alive, but everyone hates you because you correct everything they do.

I wish th00per would shut his mouth once in a while XD

QBJohnnywas January 7 2006 2:44 PM EST

You're the smartest person alive. Then I appear.... ;)

I wish I knew the name of a song I've just heard on the radio...

AdminG Beee January 7 2006 2:44 PM EST

You are the smartest person alive but the police arrest you and you get hanged for murdering me.

I wish I hadn't lost the 2nd disk from my LoTR box set.

QBJohnnywas January 7 2006 2:45 PM EST

Who's the smartest, G Beee or me???? lol

MaLicious [Ascendancy] January 7 2006 2:46 PM EST

You find it again only to discover it has a nice crack down the middle.

I wish my wish you turn out corrupted.

[Where Shirt]Freekie [Lower My Fees] January 7 2006 2:47 PM EST

You find the disk but its enclosed in a block of concrete :P

i wish i knew what to wish for...

BlueWolf January 7 2006 2:49 PM EST

you don't lose, the first disk, you lose the first one. XD

I wish i had unlimited money on CB2 and it would never shut down (horrible if it did)

YNM January 7 2006 2:50 PM EST

You do, but you don't know how to word it.

I wish this thread would die.

BlueWolf January 7 2006 2:50 PM EST

manson, you know what to wish for, but the thread closes before you can say anything.

I wish everyone had to pay a daily donation tax of 50% of all Cb2 money to me each week.

YNM January 7 2006 2:55 PM EST

The tax is implemented, and everyone quits.

I wish this thread would die.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 7 2006 2:56 PM EST

You're now the tax man, everyone quits.

I wish for a Morg, ELB, Adam, Tulks, SC, CML, HoE, MS and 100 mil cb2 to hire another minion and up everything to silly levels.

BlueWolf January 7 2006 2:58 PM EST

you get all your weapons and stats, but you are reset because jon clicked the wrong button.

I with th00per had a sense of direction.

YNM January 7 2006 3:00 PM EST

He does, direction into the wall.

I wish this thread would die.

BlueWolf January 7 2006 3:01 PM EST

thread dies but you go with it, and jon brings it back.

I wish i had the biggest character in the game.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 7 2006 3:03 PM EST

You have a char with 2 mil mpr, all trained into EC, and it's perma-retired.

I wish I wasn't stuck in this half-a-horse crudhole town.

PirateKing January 7 2006 3:04 PM EST

Granted: You now have a character who weighs over 1000 pounds and cannot move off the couch.

I wish my car did not need a new set of brake pads.

YNM January 7 2006 3:05 PM EST

Your not, your stuck in the one 20 miles south of it.

I wish i had more USD

BlueWolf January 7 2006 3:05 PM EST

granted, you don't need brake pads, you need a new CAR.

I wish my monitor was bigger.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 7 2006 3:05 PM EST

Your wheels fall off and your tranny drops (no need for brakes now)

I wish I had a custom built BSD based mp3/video player with a 4 inch screen and 100 gigs of space.

BlueWolf January 7 2006 3:10 PM EST

granted: you get it, but it's broken.

I wish i had 100 dollars USD

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 7 2006 3:13 PM EST

once hundred "dollars" in Usbeki Standard Dollars appears in your wallet, after conversion you have thirty seven cents.

I wish my house would stop sinking...

BlueWolf January 7 2006 3:14 PM EST

your house stops sinking, but it is taken by aliens and you are forced to live under a rock.

I wish that i had a Lambourghini.

MaLicious [Ascendancy] January 7 2006 3:15 PM EST

You get 100USD but you decide to donate it to charity.

I wish I had a terabyte of HDD space.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 7 2006 3:18 PM EST

You go frys, buy 4 250 gig drives, and plug em in to a nice fresh new Serial ATA card. Un-suprisingly, they are all refurbished junk and none of them work...

I wish I had a monitor that wasn't 15 years old.

BlueWolf January 7 2006 3:20 PM EST

you get a new monitor, but discover the power cord is gone!

I wish i had a brand new camera and 500MB memory card.

chappy [Soup Ream] January 7 2006 3:23 PM EST

GRANTED: You HAD one before Shade stole it out from under your nose...

I wish BlueWolf would take some time to breath in between granting wishes :)

BlueWolf January 7 2006 3:25 PM EST

granted: i breath but i breathed in fire and died.

I wish i had the power to bring back Cb1

Gender Bender January 7 2006 3:54 PM EST

Granted, you bring back Carnival Banana 1, (CB1) a game in which you aimlessly wander a carnival as a half-eaten banana.

I wish 2+2=5

QBJohnnywas January 7 2006 3:56 PM EST

welcome to MY world, where 2+2 always equals 5.

I wish somebody would make me some coffee..

BlueWolf January 7 2006 3:58 PM EST

granted: you get your cup of coffee, but it's poisoned!!! you die suddenly.

I wish i could fly.

QBBarzooMonkey January 7 2006 4:07 PM EST

Oh man, what did you do? Okay, so 2+2=5, and the balance of the universe is thrown off so severely that all matter implodes on itself, and all existence has to start over again from the resulting explosion. See you in a few hundred billion years!

I have some fresh coffee here, but we're "across the pond" from each other, as they say.

You can fly, but you meet the same fate Vestax did on January 4th.

I wish the universe hadn't imploded like that.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 7 2006 4:10 PM EST

Granted: The universe hasn't imploded like that, and BlueWolf is merely a fly ... with the typical love of horse dung.

I wish Saturdays were always so amusing.

[T]Vestax January 7 2006 4:18 PM EST

Saturdays WERE always so amusing. Now they never will be again.

And just so nobody has to suffer my fate ever again:
I wish that nobody would wish they could fly.

QBJohnnywas January 7 2006 4:32 PM EST

We stop wishing for flight and wish for the power to swim like fishes. Only we forget to ask for gills and drown a horrible death.

On a more positive note: I wish I could find a bass player and drummer for my band

Relic January 7 2006 4:35 PM EST

You find a bass player and drummer, but they only know how to play carly simon songs.

I wish I could pass go and collect $200 everyday. :)

BlueWolf January 7 2006 4:37 PM EST

you pass go everyday and get $200, however, when you pass go you pay a $125,000 tax. SUCKS TO BE YOU!

I wish i could make a cool game.

tWIsTEd January 7 2006 4:47 PM EST

granted: u make a cool game but no one plays because cb2 is cooler

i wish i could have anything in the world

th00p January 7 2006 4:53 PM EST

You can have anything in the world, however, you choose to pick a 450 pound pile of elephant dung. I wish I was Superman.

Gender Bender January 7 2006 8:21 PM EST

Wish granted, you become Superman and *Insert cruel Christopher Reeves joke here* .

I wish I were a mongoose.

Max January 7 2006 8:25 PM EST

Congratulations, you now have two wheels and handlebars. (Mongoose, is a bike.)

I wish I was back being an admin. (I had to wish that, you know that)

Gender Bender January 7 2006 8:28 PM EST

Granted, you're an admin of the Carnage2 chatroom, population: Max.

I wish I was a Nintendo.

QBPixel Sage January 7 2006 8:34 PM EST

Granted, you're an obsolete Nintendo NES.

I wish homework would go away.

RAMPAGE January 7 2006 8:41 PM EST

You are a Nintendo but both controlers are broken and no one can find any games for you.

I wish I remembered to buy Power Ball tickets for tonight.

QBBarzooMonkey January 7 2006 9:52 PM EST

You did remember to buy them - now think really hard and try to remember where you saw them last. They are floating in a puddle just outside the store where you bought them. Oops! Now they're in a 7 year old's coat pocket. When they are a dried up wad of unidentifiable pulp, his mother will find them and throw them out in disgust. And yes, one of them was the sole winner.

I wish I could remember where I put all my MoominLand books I've had since I was a kid...

RedWolf January 7 2006 10:50 PM EST

granted, you remember that you left them in your old cottage in a foreign part of Europe.
long drive ahead :P

i wish newbs weren't so newbish

AdminShade January 7 2006 10:55 PM EST

wish granted, newbs aren't so newbish anymore,

but instead they know more about the game than you do and won't take the time to help you in need, making you last place of the game.

I wish I didn't forget to wish that I could go sleep.

RedWolf January 7 2006 11:00 PM EST

you remembered to wish, but of course now it is corrupt.

i wish blue would stop telling people im doing trivia when im really not :P

Gender Bender January 8 2006 1:38 PM EST

Granted, he stops telling people you're doing trivia but now spreads the news of your slight handicap... down south... :-s

I wish for a bucket of maple syrup.

PirateKing January 8 2006 1:53 PM EST

Granted: A 5 gallon bucket of maple syrup is dropped from a height of 2,241 meters onto your head. You are now both dead AND sticky! :p

I wish I could finally either prove or disprove the existence of Bigfoot.

Quark January 8 2006 2:00 PM EST

You prove the existence of Bigfoot. Looking at your handiwork in your study, you amaze at its simplicity. Unfortunately, bigfoot is actually an alien in disguise observing earthlings. Since his cover has been blown by you he hunts you down and vaporizes you and your house. The odd oscillations of his ray gun cause harmonic vibrations on your PC before it got vaporized, which was connected to CB at the time. CB is reset and corrupt, and you go down in infamy in CB for that act.

I wish I had a nice large greasy cheesburger with bacon, and a side of fries with mayo. Mmm - heart stopping grease!

Adminedyit [Superheros] January 8 2006 3:06 PM EST

granted but the burger is actually tofu and the fries are still frozen and the mayo has been left in the sun for a day.

I wish my tatto was maxed

Gender Bender January 8 2006 7:05 PM EST

Granted, all your chars are reset and the tattoo on your new char is maxed. Max Tattoo: 1

I wish this would end up being the thread with the most replies.

Stephen January 8 2006 8:09 PM EST

It becomes the longest thread but uses all the available server space, so CB and chat have to be shut down.

I wish for the perfect sandwich to be delivered to my desk.

QBBarzooMonkey January 8 2006 11:24 PM EST

The perfect sandwich will be delivered to your desk - the morning of the first day of your next vacation. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to eat it after it sat a week at room temperature...

I wish Tom Cruise had never jumped up on Oprah Winfrey's couch like that.

Gender Bender January 8 2006 11:57 PM EST

Wish granted, he jumps like that on your coach, and eventually moves in.

I wish I had an uncorruptable wish.

Max January 9 2006 12:42 AM EST

Your wish would be granted if you spelled it right. Uncorruptible. :)

I wish Mariah Carey would stop calling me about dating other women and how she loves me. It's a bother.

QBBarzooMonkey January 9 2006 12:56 AM EST

Mariah stops calling - but only because ex-husband Tommy Mottola, still irrationally and insanely jealous, catches her leaving you a message. Johnny, Lou, and Vic will be at your place in an hour, with a "message" from Tommy...

I wish The Clash had never recorded "Combat Rock"

QBJohnnywas January 9 2006 6:09 AM EST

You get your wish. The Clash never record 'Combat Rock'. Instead, Hansen time travel back and give them MMM-Bop. It becomes a massive hit and The Clash will forever be known as those MMM-Bop guys from London.

I wish I could hear the London Calling album now....

Gender Bender January 9 2006 12:52 PM EST

Granted, you being listening to a LONDON chicken-CALLING cd.

I wish I had passed my motorcycle test!

AdminG Beee January 9 2006 1:01 PM EST

Granted: You pass your bike test then realise just how dangerous it is and decide against going out on the thing.

I wish I hadn't broken my leg the fortnight before my bike test and then when it was healed let my wife talk me out of taking it.

RedWolf January 9 2006 10:51 PM EST

you don't break your leg the fortnight before your test, rather you break it while doing the test.

I wish i could be someone different for 24h

BlueWolf January 9 2006 10:52 PM EST

granted: you are a homeless person who stands on a corner who has a piece of cardboard for pants, and you ask for old cheesburgers.

I wish i would get straight A's in my class.

Gilgamesh2090 [NCB Shop] January 9 2006 10:55 PM EST

You discover you are in "Inverse World" where A's are F's and F's are A's.

Long Live Slackers!

RedWolf January 9 2006 10:55 PM EST

you get straight As, but now you are considered a nerd like me, but since you don't have as many friends, thats a very uncomfortable experience for you and you deliberately do bad in school so you get straight Fs and your parents get very mad :-P

i wish i could read people's thoughts

Elf X.7plus35k January 9 2006 11:01 PM EST

you can read people's minds but it's only your brother's and you know which brother and shortly after you find out how rude he really is based on reading his mind alone and you wind up wishing he was never your brother :D

i wish i could stop predicting everything that's going to happen before it happens

Stephen January 9 2006 11:01 PM EST

You can read everybody's thoughts all the time. The resultant information overload turns you in a drooling cabbage who eschews further contact with humanity.

I wish my dog could talk

RedWolf January 9 2006 11:04 PM EST

you stop predicting the future. period.

and your dog can now talk, and it tells you what it did last saturday night while you were away visiting your mom...

RedWolf January 9 2006 11:04 PM EST

i wish i did not forget to wish :P

tscm January 9 2006 11:08 PM EST

You didn't forget to wish.. and you wish you weren't handicapped.. which is then corrupted

I wish I didn't kill red with an orange

RedWolf January 9 2006 11:09 PM EST

you didn't kill me with an orange, i deflected it and it bounced back and killed you...

i wish i didn't accidentally kill tscm with an orange

tscm January 9 2006 11:09 PM EST

I'm invincible..

I wish I didn't die =((

RedWolf January 9 2006 11:11 PM EST

you didn't die because your you have to put up with everybody laughing at you for trying to kill me with an orange

i wish tscm wasn't invincible

tscm January 9 2006 11:12 PM EST

but I do wish I was so there haha

I wish everyone noticed how cute and cuddly I am

RedWolf January 9 2006 11:13 PM EST

everybody notices, and suffocates you from hugs and cuddles...but your invincible so you have to put up with those hugs and cuddles forever now haha >=)

i wish tscm was as cute and cuddly as me

tscm January 9 2006 11:15 PM EST

but I'm not... so haha!

I wish I would shut up

RedWolf January 9 2006 11:16 PM EST

you shut up and this is no longer fun anymore :P

i wish tscm didn't shut up

tscm January 9 2006 11:18 PM EST

I didn't shut up... and no one can make me... buahaha

I wish my paper would dry

RedWolf January 9 2006 11:19 PM EST

your paper dries, and crumbles

i wish i didn't have to leave right now :P

tscm January 9 2006 11:21 PM EST

You were supposed to leave 20 mins ago, and you was having so much fun :P but not anymore buahaha

I wish Red didn't leave =/
(now I'm bored again)

Blarg January 10 2006 12:38 AM EST

red never leaves, ever, haunting your every move

I wish tscm would realize my strat is sooooo much better than his

QBBarzooMonkey January 10 2006 2:04 PM EST

tscm does realize your strat is sooooo much better than his, so he buys a much higher mpr character, mimics your strat exactly, and begins to farm you so mercilessly that you get the auto-retire email on a daily basis.

I wish that I could climb walls like Spiderman.

bartjan January 10 2006 2:19 PM EST

Halfway the skyscraper you realize that you left the web fluid refills at home.

I wish this thread would end ;)

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 10 2006 2:36 PM EST

Granted: This thread ends, we go back to posting about the extreme difficulty and general unnecessary-ness of botchecks.

I wish Bart more often joined in our reindeer games.

Quark January 10 2006 4:23 PM EST

Bart joins in the reindeer games more often, and finally is the first one to notice the funny glow coming off of Bast's nose. Bringing it to the attention of the rest of the reindeer, they ostracize Bast due to her lack of conformity. The dispair and depression that overtakes Bast is a crushing weight, and she finally goes kamikaze on the rest of the herd. Unbeknownst to her, that was at the time Santa was making his rounds to hand out bonus checks for Christmas performance. Santa dies in the mayhem, and Christmas is forever destroyed.

I wish politicians weren't either dweebs or totally sleazy (see above wish on Canadian election, and reference last night's leaders' debates).

RedWolf January 10 2006 6:52 PM EST

they aren't dweeby, sleazy politicians they are cruel, foul tyrants

I wish tscm would not act so strangely around Shade...

tscm January 10 2006 6:53 PM EST

I don't act strangly around Shade... now I strangle you

I wish I loved myself

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 10 2006 7:09 PM EST

Granted. You love yourself. Unfortunatly, I do too.... >;D

I wish I had a super power. Any super power would do. :)

QBBarzooMonkey January 10 2006 8:42 PM EST

You suddenly realize that you have super-stretch powers like Mr. Fantastic. Then you realize that your 20 foot long arms aren't snapping back into normal length, as you expected they would. For the next 3 days, they slowly return to normal by just a few inches every hour.
You'll probably want to really think about it next time you're tempted to use your new super power...

I wish I had a racehorse named Shadowfax that I could enter in this year's Kentucky Derby.

MaLicious [Ascendancy] January 10 2006 8:57 PM EST

You do have a racehorse named Shadowfax and you do enter it in this year's Kentucky Derby but a few minutes before the race it rolls over and dies.

I wish I had unlimited BA

Halcyon January 10 2006 9:05 PM EST

Granted, you have unlimted BA .. however, is only usable on characters with a score of 1.

I wish that it wouldn't rain all the time in Oregon.

RedWolf January 10 2006 9:22 PM EST

it stops raining, and its really sunny and hot. And dry. There is a drought, and the whole population of Oregon (and part of Tacoma, Washington) has to move to Ireland because of an all-around famine.

I wish I hadn't forgot about my homework tonight >.<

Adminedyit [Superheros] January 10 2006 9:46 PM EST

granted but you missed crazy money time while you did it

I wish kryuk would leave well enough alone

Gender Bender January 11 2006 6:01 PM EST

Granted, he then decides to move in with you.

I wish I could just download information into my brain, like a supercomputer!

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 11 2006 6:16 PM EST

Granted, but you have the same security of Windows, and download a virus that ties up all your thinking power, stops you entering commands and randomly causes naked pictures of Gary Glitter appear in your retinas! o_O

I wish I owned a subserviant compliant clone of scarlett johansson!

AdminShade January 11 2006 6:19 PM EST

granted you have a subserviant compliant clone of Scarlett Johansson but she turns out to be unable to do anything.

I wish it was Saturday.

chappy [Soup Ream] January 11 2006 6:21 PM EST

GRANTED: It is Saturday, but Shade is still lonely ... :(

I wish Shade were not lonely... poor Shade :P

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 11 2006 6:25 PM EST

Granted. Shade gets his own coop of funky dancing chickens to kep him company! Dance Shade, Dance! They just want you to join in!

I wish I had a hareem of lovely young ladies! ;)

QBJohnnywas January 11 2006 6:58 PM EST

Firstly I'd just like to meditate on Scarlett Johansson....

thank you. You get your harem of lovely young ladies. But they all come with their mothers. So you have a room full of mother in laws too....

I wish I had a teleport system to get me to and from work.

QBBarzooMonkey January 11 2006 7:57 PM EST

You get your teleport - made by Wonkavision. You arrive at work only 10 inches tall. At least you get a really big chocolate bar out of the experience.

I wish I could breath underwater.

Stephen January 11 2006 8:00 PM EST

The wish genie is dyslexic and grants you underwear breath

I wish supermarkets grouped everything I needed in the one aisle

TheEverblacksky January 11 2006 8:50 PM EST

granted, but there is so much stuff in the aisle you can't get into it.

I wish i had all the money on CB.

curudan January 12 2006 12:20 AM EST

Granted: but now everyone else in cb has no money, so they all farm you into oblivion for revenge >:-)

I wish the wizard would give me a brain...

[CB1]Deadlight January 12 2006 1:52 AM EST

Granted: The wizard gives you a brain, but you find it is a Zombie's brain and all you can think is BRAINS!

I wish that I was all powerful, all knowing, and omipontent

Max January 12 2006 2:00 AM EST

Granted, however you aren't omnipotent because you didn't spell it right. But, you knew that...

I wish Jonathan would drop the II on the CB logo and just make it read: CB

Gender Bender January 12 2006 2:31 AM EST

Granted, the II is drop, but doing so causes a tear in the time continuum and we end up being stuck with CB 1.5.

I wish I knew what I would do for a Klondike bar.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 12 2006 2:39 AM EST

Granted: You find out, the hard way, and get a Klondike Bar & 20 years in maximum security.

I wish.

gooey muppet January 12 2006 2:39 AM EST

You figure out what you would do for a klondike bar, but then you get hit by a bus.

I wish i was drinking 100 proof rum.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 12 2006 3:24 AM EST

@ Bast. Granted. You wish. So do I. ;)

@ BDM. Granted. Your tolerance to alcohol is so low that the first sip make your eyes bleed and have thoughts of cutting your own ear off! By the time you finish the bottle, you exist in your own fantasy world.

I wish I was God.

QBJohnnywas January 12 2006 3:26 AM EST

you are the God of smelly socks. Your place in the heavens is to smell the tribute of the smelly sock. Everyone of them.

I wish I had a bacon sandwich.

Xiaz on Hiatus January 12 2006 3:29 AM EST

Granted, you are the God of Whingers(sp?). And you spend your days listening to their prays, which involves hours of whining about their lives and everyone they know. Followed by more hours of apologising about not following your commandments and then more hours asking you for blessing and similar requests.


I wish, I can't tell you what I wish, because then it won't come true!

QBJohnnywas January 12 2006 3:33 AM EST

Did you just grant GL his wish by turning him into Jon?

Xiaz on Hiatus January 12 2006 3:37 AM EST

/me hands Johnnywas a bacon sandwitch. And it turns him into a newt, "hope you get better!" :P

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 12 2006 3:39 AM EST

Carbonize. Granted. You don't need to tell me, I read minds. Don't worry, it comes true, but I mess it up in a strange yet humerous way. :)

I wish I was Jon.

QBJohnnywas January 12 2006 3:43 AM EST

you are Jon. But we find out you are a multi and you have to ban yourself.

I wish I didn't have to go to work.

Xiaz on Hiatus January 12 2006 3:53 AM EST

Granted, you don't have to go to work, not because you choose not to, but you have been fired. Ouch! ;P

I wish I had three wishes, and had to slide down a slippery dip to get what i wished for, "Weeee!"

QBBarzooMonkey January 12 2006 3:09 PM EST

Well, the slippery dip thing was #1, so you only have 2 left. And what ever the slippery stuff was, it gives you a nasty rash on your bum. Wish #2 is something CB related, and you end up with a radio that won't turn off, with a trucker named "Slim" who keeps calling you "good buddy" and asks you if you'll be his girl. #3 ends up with a result so nasty that I can't even bring myself to write it down.

Oh, I need a moment...

I wish that 3rd wish wasn't so awfully upsetting

QBJohnnywas January 12 2006 3:28 PM EST

that 3rd wish isn't so upsetting. You wake up to find it was all a dream. Unfortunately you find yourself married to Bobby Ewing. Hey Pam

I wish I could finish this song. I need some lyrics

AdminShade January 12 2006 4:24 PM EST

wish granted, you get the lyrics. but when bringing the song out in the open you are accused of plagiarism and sentenced to jail.

I wish this thread would stop :p

Maelstrom January 12 2006 4:29 PM EST

Inspired by trashy modern pop music, you record what is sure to be a hit single. You spend all your money producing and promoting the single, but by the time it's finally played on radio, pop music has moved on, and your single flops. Destitute, you are forced to move into a shoddy tenement and must work multiple jobs just to make ends meet. No more time for writing songs or playing CB :(

I wish it wasn't so expensive to buy BA with an NCB character...

Maelstrom January 12 2006 4:30 PM EST

Doh, too slow! :(

QBJohnnywas January 12 2006 5:11 PM EST

@ Shade. The thread stops. But then it starts again.

@Mael. You can now buy really cheap BA with an NCB character. But you find you are falsely accused of being Monty and are forced out of town, head hung low. You are so depressed you join a cult in South America. The cult leader thinks we are all pizza topping on the great pizza of life and forces you all into a big oven. Where you are burnt to a crisp and die horribly. But smelling of garlic.

I wish cats could talk.

AdminShade January 12 2006 5:22 PM EST

wish granted, cats can talk. but they all have the attitude of kitty :p (nothing ill meant)

I wish for sleep :)

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 12 2006 5:22 PM EST

Cats can now talk. Yours now decides to tell your wife all about the phone calls to other women you make, the late night adults movies you watch and adult stuff you download, while wearing her underwear, when she isn't around. Ouch! sneaky little kitty's!

I wish I woke up in the morning already groomed and clean!

Riddick January 12 2006 5:23 PM EST

Granted: but in doing so cats still don't talk at least not to you so you wasted your wish...

I wish no one can corupt my wish

AdminShade January 12 2006 5:23 PM EST

you wake up groomed and clean, but when looking in the mirror you notice all your hair is gone, all of it.

i wish i could go sleep now, again :)

QBJohnnywas January 12 2006 5:24 PM EST

you wake up in the morning feeling groomed and clean. But that is because you spent the night with a very affectionate gorilla called Clive. No fleas on you!

I wish I had a beer

AdminG Beee January 12 2006 6:04 PM EST

You have beer, it's a little drop in the bottom of a glass that I just drained.

I wish I had another beer.

Gothicknight January 12 2006 6:59 PM EST

You have another beer but it's flat and warm.

I wish i had my 6's back.

RedWolf January 12 2006 8:28 PM EST

you have your 6s back, but people bother you again :-P

i wish i knew how this thread was going to end...eventually someone's wish is not going to get granted :-P

curudan January 12 2006 11:51 PM EST

Granted: but the reason this thread ends is that the sun flares killing all life on earth!

I wish that Ranger would sell me his character for 1 USD!

QBOddBird January 12 2006 11:56 PM EST

Ranger sells you his character for 1 USD, but your inactivity quickly drops you from the top and its value is reduced.

I wish college was cheaper.

PirateKing January 13 2006 12:13 AM EST

Granted: You are easily able to afford going to McUniversity and supersizing your courses.

I wish I could eat all the ice cream I want.

curudan January 13 2006 12:37 AM EST

Granted: You can know eat all the ice cream you want. But you become addicted to ice cream, your wife divorces you, as you are now extremely obese, you sell your house and your car and are forced sit on street corners begging for melted ice cream.

I wish the 'stinkin bot-checks were gone!

PirateKing January 13 2006 1:11 AM EST

HEY! How did you know I was obese, divorced, and living on the streetcorner? :P

Your wish is granted. The stinking bot checks are gone. They have been replaced by minty fresh bot checks.

I wish for a new cardboard box to use as my home beneath the freeway overpass.

Gender Bender January 13 2006 1:12 AM EST

Granted, the 7 letter "stinkin" bot checks are gone, instead we revert to the standard 4 letter bot checks.

I wish to have the 300th post on this thread!

curudan January 13 2006 1:39 AM EST

PK:Granted: you now have a new cardboard box for your home under the freeway overpass, but there is a large earthquake and the freeway collapses on top of your brand 'spankin new cardnoard box :```-( Gender Bender:Granted: You get the 300th post, but everyone else wanted it so they all leave in disgust and the thread dies *Sobs* I wish for a brand new imac with a 9999 ghz processor, a 150 TB HD, Over 50 TB or ram and a 10" plasma Monitor. (No wait "monitor" is not the word to use here... i shall call it the... AWESOME GLOWING PORTAL OF ETERNITY!)

AdminShade January 13 2006 1:46 AM EST

granted, but the 10" plasma screen sucks so bad that you throw the entire thing away and play with your ancient Commodore 64.

curudan January 13 2006 1:49 AM EST

Yay! Elite for the commadore 64!

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 13 2006 8:16 AM EST

("You have another beer but it's flat and warm." - Dude, the best beer is flat and warm!)

I wish my Biro hadn't just ran out of ink.

QBJohnnywas January 13 2006 8:19 AM EST

ah beer in London pubs....

Your biro magically regains it's ink and keeps on getting more until you are swimming in biro ink. London is soon submerged. Out of the mists comes a large boat, populated by two of every kind of animal. They already have two GentlemanLosers so you are left behind to drown in a sea of ink and badly designed forms.

I wish I had another bar of chocolate

RAMPAGE January 13 2006 9:12 AM EST

You get your bar of chocolate but it is Ex-Lax and you spend the next week in the bath room.

I wish this list was a funny as the one on CB1.

QBJohnnywas January 13 2006 9:23 AM EST

It is but that's because the list on CB1 doesn't exist...

I wish I didn't feel like I had a cold coming!

QBBarzooMonkey January 13 2006 11:28 AM EST

You don't feel like you have a cold coming on - as a matter of fact, you'll never get another cold again. You will have chronic nose-drip forever, though.

I wish I had a beer tree in my backyard, like in the Budweiser commercial. But not a Budweiser tree, I wish for a Bass Ale & Guinness tree.

AdminShade January 13 2006 11:31 AM EST

You have a Bass Ale & Guinness tree, but it only grows miniature bottles, which contain 1/100th of a normal bottle, per year.

I wish i would get some help with my FF8 :\

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 13 2006 11:31 AM EST

Granted! Then a pack a rabid hoodlums saw it down one night, kidnap it and force it to work for them on an illegal moon shine production line.

I wish I wasn't still at work.

chappy [Soup Ream] January 13 2006 11:33 AM EST

GRANTED: You're not at work, but now you gotta help SHADE with his FF8 issues ... and you better take an extra box of tissues ..

I wish that I had a Turbo Duo

QBBarzooMonkey January 14 2006 3:07 PM EST

You get your Turbo Duo, but a passing comet mysteriously erases all the data from all Turbo game disks on the planet, except for Bonk 3: Bonk's Big Adventure.

I wish it didn't snow like crazy every Saturday around here...

Adminedyit [Superheros] January 14 2006 3:33 PM EST

granted now it snows like crazy everyday but Saturday.

I wish th00p didn't hate me. :)

BlueWolf January 14 2006 5:01 PM EST

GRANTED: he doesn't hate you. he loves you so much that he stalks you day and night.

I wish i had OPs.

{CB1}Lukeyman January 14 2006 5:30 PM EST

Granted, but the op's in to a room called "BlueWolf Only".

I wish I loved CB again..

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 14 2006 5:59 PM EST

You love cb again, it closes.

I wish I could leave the house without turning into a grump the first time I end up some place with a perfume or cologne covered moron...

PirateKing January 14 2006 6:08 PM EST

Granted: Your tolerance of perfume and cologne covered morons is without parallel...... mostly because you are now one yourself.

I wish I had some mustard for the hot dog I'm about to eat.

RedWolf January 14 2006 7:10 PM EST

you have mustard, but by now you've already eaten your hotdog.

I wish I had the whole weekend to do whatever I wanted

BlueWolf January 14 2006 7:41 PM EST

you have the whole weekend to do whatever you want, however you are restricted to a bare room.

I wish i could control water.

RedWolf January 14 2006 7:43 PM EST

you can control water, but every night while your asleep people in India get mad at you because it never rains

I wish there were more good themes to use here

BlueWolf January 14 2006 7:45 PM EST

GRANTED: there are hundreds of more good themes....... but your computer crashes whenever you use one, limiting you to the default.

I wish i knew the cheat codes to the game i'm playing.

RAMPAGE January 14 2006 10:58 PM EST

You get the cheat codes but then get banned by Jon for cheating on CB.

I wish this tread was closed

Xiaz on Hiatus January 14 2006 11:12 PM EST

granted, but unfortunately I can't close this thread.

I wish someone who had the ability to close this thread, did.

Gender Bender January 15 2006 2:52 AM EST

Granted, the loose thread on your jacket is knotted to prevent further unravelling.

I wish I knew how they get the caramel inside a Caramilk bar.

RAMPAGE January 15 2006 12:55 PM EST

You find out how they get the caramel inside a Caramilk bar but then they have to kill you to keep the secret safe.

I wish this was the 290th reply to this tread.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 15 2006 1:29 PM EST

page already got his wish, so I'll add in a kick to the shins...

I wish for a meta-nerf.

Unwanted Memories January 15 2006 1:29 PM EST

Its the 290th reply to the post, but your comp shuts down blows up and blinds you in a flash of light.. thus your never able to see that your wish was granted

I wish for phenominal cosmic power!!!!

PirateKing January 15 2006 1:32 PM EST

Granted: You now have phenomenal cosmic power... Alas, it comes in the form of horrific body odor. Take a bath, you animal! ;)

I wish I could destroy that big wasp nest on the porch without being attacked by swarms of angry, stingy insects.

AdminShade January 15 2006 2:13 PM EST

granted you destroy that big wasp nest on the porch without being attacked by swarms of angry, stingy insects, but instead attract a horde of angry bears that destroy your porch.

I wish someone would let me end this thread :p

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] January 15 2006 2:17 PM EST

Granted, I let you end this thread but then I carry it on.

I wish I didn't have 3 Economics and 1 Maths exam all on Wednesday.

PirateKing January 15 2006 2:17 PM EST

Off topic: I am curious as to why there is such a strong desire to kill this thread.

RAMPAGE January 15 2006 3:06 PM EST

You don't have 3 Economics and 1 Maths exam all on Wednesday because you have been expelled from school and now have 48 hours to find a full time job or you are out on the street.

I wish this tread would last forever

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 15 2006 3:33 PM EST

Granted: this tread lasts forever, but in 30 years you look pretty silly wearing the current fashion in footwear.

I wish people would learn to argue for some greater purpose than merely the satisfaction of listening to the seal-like harping of their own voices.

th00p January 15 2006 3:34 PM EST

the "tread" marks that you got from being run over will last forever, however this thread will soon come to an end.

I wish i owned a mansion

Vaynard [Fees Dirt Cheap] January 15 2006 3:55 PM EST

You own a mansion, but it has a cracked foundations, heavy termite damage, and is on a hill and has a terrible lean that gets worse every day.

I wish I would win the lottery.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 15 2006 4:14 PM EST

Granted: You would win the lottery, if only you could afford to buy tickets.

I wish people would learn to argue for some greater purpose than merely the satisfaction of listening to the seal-like harping of their own voices.

Zoglog[T] [big bucks] January 15 2006 4:17 PM EST

Bast: Granted, they stop arguing but instead peacefully debate and all sound exactly like Michael Barrymore "Awight!"

Vaynard: you win the lottery but remember to cash it in the day after the deadline and get nothing.

I wish I could dive from the Empire State Building and not die.

{CB1}Bio January 15 2006 4:22 PM EST

Granted, but to your misfortune...the fairy you asked isnt around...(you get the picture)

i wish i could be a hoss like Chuck Norris

Chargerz-Back January 15 2006 6:48 PM EST

You become a hoss like Chuck Norris, but you fall and break your hip going to get the morning paper.

I wish i had a new motherboard and ram.

RedWolf January 15 2006 9:16 PM EST

you get a new mother board, but she grounds you for a month for bringing that filthy farm animal in the house

I wish someone wouldn't corrupt this wish

Thraklight Resonance January 15 2006 9:21 PM EST

No one corrupts this wish, but an Angel appears and turns you, and all of your habits and preferences, into those of a 10 year old Opie.

I wish Bast could make a living as a penguin juggler.

rufen January 15 2006 10:20 PM EST

He becomes a penguin juggler but is soon fired for a freak incident involving one of said penguins and a block of cheese...truly terrifying.

I wish I had an Xbox 360.

Relic January 15 2006 10:34 PM EST

You get your 360 but Microsoft goes belly up and discontinues making games for it.

I wish I could find a new job making six figures doing what I love.

Gender Bender January 16 2006 3:16 AM EST

Granted, you are hired for your dream job of baking donuts in the shape of the number 6.

I wish I wasn't addicted to e-Bay.

rufen January 16 2006 10:18 AM EST

Granted, e-bay has changed their name to i-bay in a strategic move to grab the first person article.

I wish I would never need to sleep and still not be tired.

chappy [Soup Ream] January 17 2006 10:35 AM EST

GRANTED: You never need to sleep and you will never be tired again, the down side? Every 10 seconds you are jolted by an eye opening electrical charge .. YOWZA!!

I wish that there were some good RPGs on the PSP.

AdminShade January 17 2006 10:37 AM EST

wish granted, they make some good RPGs on the PSP, downsides are that you will have to import them from somewhere far away and that they take half a year to arrive, by then your PSP will have died and you can't play them anymore.

I wish somebody would donate me $1 mil CB2 :p

Quark January 17 2006 12:08 PM EST

Your "business acquaintance", Vinnie, "donates" $1 mil in CB2 to your account. In return, you're required to kick all members of Battle Royale out of carnage in chat. Your admin privileges are revoked and your character reset for your unruly behavior - so much for that mil in cash. But you still owe your debt to Vinne, and to collect the principal plus interest (worth about a grand USD$ by this point), he ransacks your apartment and beats you up. You head to the authorities, and get thrown in the slammer (they'd rather lock you up than deal with Vinne & his cronies). Meet your new cellmate "Bubba" and his special friend ...

I wish for health & happiness for my kids.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 17 2006 12:10 PM EST

*grumbles at G for the less than easy to corrupt wish*

Your kids are healthy and happy, in turn, they need more money out of you.

I wish, I wish, I hadn't killed that fish.

chappy [Soup Ream] January 17 2006 12:20 PM EST

GRANTED: In a drastic turn of events, NOVICE did not kill the fish that won him the 2005 BassMasters most improved fly fisherman. Instead the fish jumped out of the stream and slapped you in the face with his tail. This obviously caught you off guard and you fell on your rear, soaking your clothes and busting your cell phone. With no phone you are stranded deep in the wilderness of Canada in freezing clothes where you are never heard from again ...

I wish cheetos were green instead of orange.

QBOddBird January 17 2006 12:44 PM EST

Granted, Cheetos are now green, but you accidentally eat a moldy bag because you cannot tell the difference and you die of food poisoning. Nobody knows the cause of your death, and they can't follow the cheesy green trail of evidence dripping from your mouth.

I wish I could just download knowledge into my head, rather than going to college for it.

bartjan January 17 2006 1:01 PM EST

Granted, a new cyber helmet just hit the market. However, it's made by Microsoft and still has the WMF bug.

I wish I was good at camping.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 17 2006 1:04 PM EST

You can pop a pup tent with the best of em, you catch Denge Fever...poor you

I wish bart would fine me and edit my post in the flame war next door.

RedWolf January 17 2006 5:40 PM EST

bart fines and edits your posts, just not on the flame war.

I wish I did better on that exam today.

AdminG Beee January 17 2006 5:49 PM EST

You did better than you expected on the exam today, but boy you sucked big time on the one previous.

I wish I wasn't stuck in a hotel 100's of miles from home in a country where I can't speak the lingo using a computer which is running at 18kbps. I also wish I hadn't missed whacky time and had enough time to purchase and use my BA.

bartjan January 17 2006 6:06 PM EST

<nospellcheck language="French">
Ah! Viva la France! ;) Couldn't find an Ordinateur that's rapide enough to do your AC (Allocation Combat) during "l'heure du XP idiote" ?

YNM January 17 2006 10:40 PM EST

<void corrupt a wish post>
Bartjan is officially a dork....
</void corrupt a wish post>

QBBarzooMonkey January 18 2006 4:03 PM EST

B-Gee isn't stuck in a hotel 100's of miles from home in a country where he can't speak the lingo, using a computer which is running at 18kbps. He didn't miss whacky time and had enough time to purchase and use his BA.
Instead, although you are now 1000's miles from home, you can speak the lingo! You have have all the time in the world to use your BA, including wacky time! And you're doing it on the most cutting-edge computer and fastest connection that taxpayer dollars can buy - welcome to a NY Minimum Security Prison!

I wish that corrupt-a-wish hadn't been so horribly derailed like that. Oh, the humanity!

QBBarzooMonkey January 18 2006 4:06 PM EST

I also wish that I hadn't typed G-Beee's name backwards :P

BlueWolf January 18 2006 5:46 PM EST

GRANTED: you spell his name right, but he changes his name and beats you because it's wrong now. >.<

I wish i had brand new laptops and owned the black market.

QBOddBird January 18 2006 5:55 PM EST

Wish Granted. Now the Mafia's after you, because they held up their end of the deal and you have no way to hold up yours.

I wish I could understand songs backwards while listening to them playing forwards.

RedWolf January 18 2006 5:55 PM EST

you get a brand new laptop but you have to give it to me because you can't stand another Trivia game with my chat freezing up all the time :-P

i wish i actually had a new laptop heh

BlueWolf January 18 2006 5:57 PM EST

you get a brand new laptop from me, however there is a time bomb on it that blows up when you recieve it..

Gender Bender January 19 2006 12:55 AM EST


I wish I had a robot to do my lab reports.

Flamey January 19 2006 1:57 AM EST

you got the robot to do your lab reports on the robot did them wrong.

i wish i had a decaying ice cream

curudan January 19 2006 4:11 AM EST

Granted: you now have a "decaying ice cream" however it is decaying in a different sense of the word... you get uncurable cancer from the radiation...

I wish i had not just ate all my candy :-(

gooey muppet January 19 2006 5:45 AM EST

Time magically reverses and you didnt eat all your candy, however time goes back so far that you become an infant again.

I wish this thread would be closed.

QBBarzooMonkey January 19 2006 9:52 AM EST

The thread closes. Because an unxpected, massive meteor shower wreaks havoc on all things electrical west of the Rocky Mountains. The overload creates a blackout that envelopes all of North America. Although electricity is restored to Mexico and to Canada and the US east of the Rockies in a day or two, the remaining magnetic field makes it impossible to use anything electric in the western US for 3 months. By the time power is restored, Jonathan decides that CB2 is no longer worth the effort. Thanks, man :P

I wish that instead of being killjoys and wishing for this thread to be closed, said individuals would take a few minutes to come up with creative and funny wishes & corruptions ;)

Phrede January 19 2006 9:59 AM EST

said individuals come up with funny wishes and curruptions but they hide code that closes the thread.

I wish my ToA was a piece of Cheese

Quark January 19 2006 4:10 PM EST

Your ToA turns into a slab of head cheese. Since your character is still wearing it, the awful stench makes all your minions pass out before the battle starts, causing you to lose all battles in 1 round of melee. The negative exp gained from these battles wipes out the exp on your minions. Your team is toast.

Furthermore, the smell infects all of your gear, and no other minion will wear it. You're forced to sell it to the store for staggering losses.

I wish I had a large frenched rack of lamb, grilled to medium rare with herbs, with an excellent California Cabernet. And some grilled jumbo shrimp on the side. Followed by a very decadent chocolate cake and some blueberry tea (black tea, grand marnier, amaretto). Mmm.

th00p January 19 2006 6:27 PM EST

You got it. However, it was served yesterday, so your lamb is cold and crunchy, your tea leaves have collected in the cool water, and your very decadent chocolate cake has turned into a cripsy ant cake. The shrimp? they walked off and jumped in the lobster tank, and they stole that part of your dinner.

I wish i could finally win those AGs in auctions.

RAMPAGE January 19 2006 6:40 PM EST

You get the AGs in auction but then Jon nerfs them into worthlessness. I wish I had a cake like GL's

curudan January 20 2006 12:04 AM EST

Granted: You know have a cake just like GL's unfortunately i am so uncreative that it suffers from the same problem.

I wish Quark would change his name to GL and save us all this confusion...

Anubis January 20 2006 2:58 AM EST

Threatened by the new supporter weapon - the Anti Quark Shield, he quickly changes his name to GL.
Unfortunately, as there are no Quarks left, the Universe unravels !
It looked cool though.

I wish my computer had ESP.

QBBarzooMonkey January 20 2006 12:11 PM EST

Your computer now has ESP - Extra Slow Processor.

I wish that I was on a beach in the Bahamas right now.

{CB1}Bio January 20 2006 7:55 PM EST

You are now on a beach with 100's of native cannibals thought to have been lost into the jungles hundreds of years ago. They eat your big toe and leave to there to walk with a slight draw to your left the rest of your life.

I wish i could sing and be just like elton john(and not be gay)

Phrede January 20 2006 10:17 PM EST

Your wish comes true and now you have to share a bed with your husband and not enjoy it. But it does improve your singing.

I wish my left leg could dance

Blackheart January 20 2006 10:21 PM EST

your left leg dances but...there is no music and you are stuck dancing forever.

i wish i didn't have to quit

curudan January 21 2006 2:17 AM EST

Granted: You don't have to quit, however you stay up all night and consequently are late for School\Work and then Flunk the test\Get fired

I wish all the people who wish for this thread to end would instead think of a nice creative wish, so we all could be so much happier;-)

QBPixel Sage January 21 2006 2:22 AM EST

Granted, and people wish as a joke that there was another ToA and tank nerf. However, Jon mistakens this as a real request, decides to do it, and puts Ranger in a mediocre position. Out of anger, Ranger finds out where you live, and beats the crap outta you for making that wish in the first place. =P

I wish I had a new MacBook Pro.

Gender Bender January 21 2006 6:03 PM EST

Granted, you receive Kraft's latest version of the MacBook Pro, a concise collection of all their types of MACcaroni's.
I wish I wasn't so hungover!!

BlueWolf January 21 2006 6:09 PM EST

GRANTED: Your not hungover, but your wife has PMS and is hungover, and she's not happy. XD (have a nice night)

I wish i could finish paying off my loan.

AdminShade January 21 2006 6:16 PM EST

Wish granted, you are able to finish paying off your loan, but the loan has turned out to be a total of $10 million instead of what you thought. bummer.

I wish I know what to wish.

th00p January 21 2006 6:22 PM EST

You now know what you want to wish, but the Genie gets impatient and leaves, so you can't wish anymore.

I wish there was Trivia every day!

Blarg January 21 2006 6:40 PM EST

Theres trivia everyday, but I always win.

I wish I always won trivia.

RedWolf January 21 2006 7:21 PM EST

you always win, but people get mad at you and don't want to play anymore. even IA thinks its futile to play against you. you ruined my business :P

i wish blarg didn't obliterate trivia

QBPit Spawn [Abyssal Specters] January 21 2006 7:21 PM EST

blarg doesnt obliterate trivia but trivia interest dies out.

i wish this thread was closed permanently

th00p January 21 2006 7:23 PM EST

Ahh!! whats wrong with you Pit??

This thread dies, but luckily I restart a new one so we can keep going.

I wish people would let me forge at 90% and economic clans would have a decent bonus. =D

[CB1]Deadlight January 21 2006 7:23 PM EST

This thread closes permantely only for you to find a new one has taken it's place

I wish i was Bill gates son..

th00p January 21 2006 7:26 PM EST

You are Bill Gates' son, but (true story) you only get .1% of his estate.

I wish I could be an admin

[CB1]Deadlight January 21 2006 7:28 PM EST

You are an Admin, but sadly the only ability you have is yo /kill yourself..

I wish Pit would give me a pair of AGs.

th00p January 21 2006 7:33 PM EST

Pit is kind enough to give you his AG's, but he sends them to the wrong character and i receive them. lucky me!

I wish I was owed 10 million cb2 dollars by the Central Bank

[CB1]Deadlight January 21 2006 7:36 PM EST

You are owed 10 mil cb2, but on an error by central bank, sent you only $10 cb2 and cosiders the deal closed. Jon agrees with central bank and no futher cash is sent you way.

I wish that I had more wish so that I could wish for world peace, and an end to world hunger.

QBOddBird January 21 2006 7:38 PM EST

You have more wishes, but a genie is chosen to grant them. Furthermore, it is the genie from Aladdin, and his wish-granted powers just plain suck. You are only granted wishes that follow his rules, and an annoying red bird that never shuts up follows you around forever.

I wish that guy in the mirror would stop mimicking me.

RedWolf January 21 2006 7:45 PM EST

he stops mimicking you, and just plain stares back, which is even more frustrating

i wish tscm wasn't so presumptuous

lotien January 22 2006 4:43 PM EST

he stops that and u die

i wish i hand an exbow of my own

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 22 2006 5:01 PM EST

Granted: You hand an ExBow, of your very own, to me -- I sell it and purchase an AxBow.

I wish I had a small staff of mind-reading domestics.

Karmic Mishap [Soup Ream] January 22 2006 5:01 PM EST

You get an exbow, but then you upgrade it so far that it starts doing negative damage. :p

I wish there was another tatoo, or a buff to make the RoBF look usable.

th00p January 22 2006 5:39 PM EST

the RoBF now looks usable, but in all reality it has no usage.

I wish that... =D

smallpau1 - Go Blues [Lower My Fees] January 23 2006 10:28 PM EST

You get your =D, but then someone hits you and it turns into X|...

I wish i could see all the episodes in 24 and smallville before the seasons came out.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 24 2006 7:19 AM EST

Granted: You see all the episodes of 24 and Smallville before they are released to the networks (if you can call them "networks", in these cases), but then ... you watch that much bad television.

I wish there really could be more than one Chuck Norris.

sssimmo January 24 2006 7:22 AM EST

Granted. There is another Chuck Norris, but your him! And everyone think your a cheap immatation.

I wish this thread gets to 1000 posts!

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 24 2006 7:34 AM EST

@ Bast "I wish I had a small staff of mind-reading domestics"

Granted: You have a staff comprised of mind-reading domestics. And it's small. The staff reads your mind and sells all your secrets on eBay. They are bought for bogus 10 Million Pound bids. Someone then posts your secrets for free on the forums of another website.

@ Sssimmo "I wish this thread gets to 1000 posts!"

Granted, it does, but at the rate of 1 post per year. It's takes generations of CBers to finish it, and neither of us are around to see it. :(

I wish there weren't any plot holes in the stories of Underworld and Underworld: Evolution.

QBJohnnywas January 24 2006 7:41 AM EST

There are now no longer any plot holes in the Underworld series. However the Kate Beckinsale's role has been replaced by Pete Burns. In the same outfit.

I wish I didn't enjoy watching the latest series of Big Brother so much....

QBBarzooMonkey January 24 2006 7:52 AM EST

You don't enjoy watching the latest series of Big Brother so much, because you've become obsessed with reruns of the last 3 American versions, which are 10 times worse.

I wish Kate Beckinsale were here right now, having breakfast with me.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 24 2006 8:11 AM EST

Granted: You and Kate have breakfast -- nothing but lichen, which is nasty even with Kate.

I wish I, too, could win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!

QBJohnnywas January 24 2006 8:13 AM EST

You can win Connect Four in only three moves. But then Chuck Norris comes in and one swift round house kick to the head later you are history.

I wish I could go through life with grace, style, wit and wisdom.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 24 2006 8:58 AM EST

Granted: You could go through life with grace, style, wit and wisdom. But you don't. One swift roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris later, and you no longer have a life to go through. :)

I wish I could counter Chuck Norri's roundhouse kicks!

QBBarzooMonkey January 24 2006 9:06 AM EST

You successfully counter Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick! However, during the bedlam, you failed to notice that Kate Beckinsale had walked in. Jumping to the conclusion that only a lycan would have the ability to counter Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick, she pumps you full of silver bullets.

I wish I could have lunch with Chuck Norris today. Breakfast with Kate wasn't so good...

QBJohnnywas January 24 2006 9:31 AM EST

You have lunch with Chuck. Afterwards he rips off your arm to use as a toothpick. After all he is Chuck Norris.

I wish I was growing younger.

AdminQBGentlemanLoser [{END}] January 24 2006 9:37 AM EST

Granted! But at a rapid rate! O_O By tomorrow you'll be going through pubery in reverse, the day after you lose control of your bladder. By the end of the week, you manage to unfertilize yourself...


I wish my wallet was always full of money.

QBJohnnywas January 24 2006 9:40 AM EST

Your wallet is always full of money. Unfortunately some teenagers from Leyton mugged you last night while filming the attack on their mobile phones. They are spending your money right now on new trainers.

I wish they would bring back The Banana Splits.

PirateKing January 24 2006 9:49 AM EST

Granted: Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper, and Snork are brought back.... to live in your home. They bring along Chongo from the "Danger Island" episodes as well. Oh yeah, they aren't house trained either. :P

I wish I were a bear.

QBBarzooMonkey January 24 2006 9:53 AM EST

They are bringing back The Banana Splits! It starts next week, unexpectedly replacing the latest series of Big Brother.

I wish I could get The Banana Splits' theme out of my head now!

Tra la la, tra lala la, tra la la, tra lala la! One Banana, two banana, three banana four, four bananas make a buch and so do many more...

QBRanger January 24 2006 10:00 AM EST

You have a lobotomy and the Banama Splits theme as well as most of your memory is gone.

I wish this thread would finally end.

QBJohnnywas January 24 2006 10:01 AM EST

the thread ends but then a Chuck Norris roundhouse sends us back in time to when the thread is still alive.

I wish I had the power from The Arabian Knights. Size of an elephant!

AdminShade January 24 2006 10:02 AM EST

@ barzoo, you manage to forget that song but instead get get this song in your head.

@ Ranger, you manage to end this thread, but someone just will make a new one.

I wish, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, oops... >.

Gender Bender January 25 2006 1:27 AM EST

Granted, (by the dyslexic genie) regdab, regdab, regdab, regdab.....

I wish I could go on vacation.

chappy [Soup Ream] January 25 2006 11:00 AM EST

GRANTED: You manage to save up enough cash to go on vacation to Omaha for 10 whole months!! When you return to CB you find that you're character CONDO is even #1 MPR! ... oh that's just because everyone else either quit or is only playing CB3 ... tough break..

I wish that I had x-ray vision :P

IndependenZ January 25 2006 1:12 PM EST

Granted: You now have X-ray vision but all you can see is bones and other black'n'blue-ish stuff. No CB for you! ;)

I wish for a well organized party. For me, of course ;)

Ox [StephenMelinda Gates Fund] January 25 2006 1:14 PM EST

you get a well-organized party, but it's the GOP.

I wish I had baby brussell sprouts.

QBBarzooMonkey January 27 2006 2:18 PM EST

Just when you haterz all thought it was gone ;)

You get baby brussell sprouts. That's enough corruption in itself :P

I wish they would make Funny Face Drink Mix again. I broke my Choo-Choo Cherry mug yesterday :(

chappy [Soup Ream] January 27 2006 2:26 PM EST

GRANTED: You use your newly acquired 7mil cb2 to pressure Pilsbury to bring them back ... too bad all they bring back is ...

I wish I had a beenie that could propel me 2 feet off the ground

Timberwolf January 27 2006 3:14 PM EST

Unfortunately your newly acquired 'beenie' puts you at the level of ceiling fans and doorway headers. You spend the rest of your days acquiring more 'dain bramage' from banging your head on various hard items.

I wish someone would corrupt this wish.

TheEverblacksky January 27 2006 3:53 PM EST

Granted: You never got a wish in the first place.

I wish i could be in a good band :-P

QBBarzooMonkey January 27 2006 4:11 PM EST

You are now in a good band. As a matter of fact, once you join they become the number 1 band of their genre on the planet!

You are the newest member of Happy Lou and the Polka Blenders!

And-a one-a, and-a two-a...

I wish Gorilla Milk didn't taste so gosh-darned awful!

Crux Terminatus January 27 2006 6:14 PM EST

Granted!Gorilla Milk ends up tasting phenomenal with alittle sugar, spice and all things nice. You end up liking it so much you drink it till you drowned in it...

I wish I was born rich, but NOT famous

RAMPAGE January 27 2006 6:26 PM EST

You where born rich but your parents lose all your money before your 1st birthday and since you are not famous there is no chance to get your money back.

I wish this list would go over 400 replies.

Karmic Mishap [Soup Ream] January 28 2006 4:21 AM EST

This list gets to 500 lists and exposes a flaw in the CB forums, but Jon blames it solely on you for wishing it and you get reset.

I wish for another economic activity in CB. ^^

Xiaz on Hiatus January 28 2006 4:39 AM EST

Granted, the new economic activity is shoe shining. And you my friend, are a Master Shoe Shiner.

:) I wish Gender Bender gets a dollar for each reply on this thread.

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 28 2006 6:47 AM EST

A Quebecian dollar...and since no one likes Quebec, no one will exchange their weird money (it has a frogcicle on it)

I wish I had some pancakes, and bacon.

[T]Vestax January 28 2006 9:26 AM EST

You have your pancakes and bacon because you told us all that you wanted some. Just about everyone on CB sends you some and your house is overflowing with breakfast food. However, most of it has come fully cooked, and there are several with "special ingredients" in them. You are unfortunately doomed to choose the wrong ones.

I wish weekdays had an extra hour each day and weekends had an extra 24, which could all be spent doing what I want to do.

Gender Bender January 28 2006 5:12 PM EST

@ Carbonize - thanks for the wish :)
@ novice - Quebec really does suck, try living here!

Granted, however due to the extra hours you spend more time playing CB, eventually the offset of hours has us working all day, which is actually night, then sleeping through the night, which is actually day because the sun is out. Every 4 weeks, we receive a week of normal time, where day is day and night is night, 5 years later, 80% of the population has gone coocoo.

I wish this was the 400th post.

[T]Vestax January 28 2006 5:23 PM EST

wait for it...

[T]Vestax January 28 2006 5:23 PM EST

This is the 400th post, except I posted it and not you. :P

I wish this was the 398th post.

{CB1}Lukeyman January 29 2006 9:42 PM EST

Granted: But since you got a wish for the 400th post, and this grants the 398th post, the two wished collide and you are now stuck in the 399th post.

I wish everyone played Trivia!

QBOddBird January 29 2006 11:52 PM EST

Wish granted, but they all play at different times, so there's never any real competition of more than 3 or so players.

I wish HG upgrade costs weren't so blamed high.

Kent January 30 2006 12:23 AM EST

Granted, but Jonathan bans them without compensation for current owners.

I wish I could be a supporter without paying anyone at all.

Phrede January 30 2006 8:38 AM EST

You become a supporter without paying anyone at all but your supporter item is a -100 -100 Morg which you are forced to equip at all times.

I wish my spleen tasted like tomato soup.

AdminShade January 30 2006 8:42 AM EST

wish granted your spleen tasted like tomato soup. But the tomato soup was made with rotten tomatoes so your spleen tasted horrible also.

I wish I had more time to do the things I want to do.

PirateKing January 30 2006 8:44 AM EST

Granted: You now have more time to do the things you want to do. Unfortunately, you have far fewer things you want to do. You die of boredom.

I wish the following wisher would wish his or her well wishes on me.

AdminShade January 30 2006 8:48 AM EST

wish granted, I would wish his or her well wishes on me. But i am evil and wish wells for you instead of well wishes.

I wish i had more things to do while i have more time to do them now :p

PirateKing January 30 2006 8:52 AM EST

Granted: But they are all non-PG and quite disgusting as well. ;)

I wish the wells I was wished were wishing wells with which to wish wishes. :P

AdminShade January 30 2006 8:54 AM EST

Granted: the wells that were wished for you are wishing wells with which to wish wishes, but unfortunately they only contain bad wishes.

I wish my things to do weren't so unpg and disgusting :p

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 30 2006 8:58 AM EST

Granted: You get wishing wells that were for wishing wishes, in fact you get all the dried up wishing wells.

I wish travel arrangements were a bit easier to ... arrange.

PirateKing January 30 2006 8:58 AM EST

Granted: Your "things" are now no longer un-pg. Alas, the stuff you want to do remains totally perverse. :P

I wish Ben and Jerry would start making Wavy Gravy ice cream again. I miss that stuff badly.

PirateKing January 30 2006 9:00 AM EST

@Bast... Granted: You now have the simplest travel arrangements in history; you are now a human cannonball.

I wish for the ice cream like I did before this post.

QBBast [Hidden Agenda] January 30 2006 9:04 AM EST

Granted: "Wavy Gravy" ice cream is reintroduced -- now you can only get it in chicken or beef flavors, however.

I wish the usual crowd would come up with a new whine, Jon's storebot just isn't worth getting exercised about.

PirateKing January 30 2006 9:06 AM EST

Granted: The consensus whine is focused on your forum avatars now. :P

I wish my ice cream came in Salt Pork flavor as well.

(CB1)logan666 [Jago] January 30 2006 9:20 AM EST

Granted: You get your Salted Pork ice cream but it tastes more like a spoonful of salt than anything else.

I wish I had never seen that video that PK linked. "Moscow, Moscow" is now stuck in my head.

Phrede January 30 2006 9:27 AM EST

You forget all about Moscow Moscow and its not stuck in your head. Its now stuck on your back and your look really stupid.

I wish rotten tomatoes tasted like Cat Spleen

PirateKing January 30 2006 9:28 AM EST

Granted: The "Moskau" video is no longer floating about in your head.....This one has replaced it!

I wish I did not have the ability to find all this crud on the web... it's really embarassing.

{CB1}Lukeyman January 30 2006 5:36 PM EST

Granted: You instead get the ability to make rotten tomatoes taste like cat spleen.

I Wish For World Peace!

Quark January 30 2006 5:47 PM EST

The final armageddon takes place, nuking everyone but you. You feel very peaceful, although a bit lonely.

I wish for more time with my kids.

{CB1}Lukeyman January 31 2006 3:52 PM EST

Granted: You show them how to play CB.

I i had a billion CB $

AdminQBnovice [Cult of the Valaraukar] January 31 2006 3:55 PM EST

Bang you're now Central Bank (only half a bil, but so what)
everyone hates you...and you are forced to bid on lousy items you don't want...

I wish I could start my new NCB char today.

QBBarzooMonkey February 1 2006 11:11 AM EST

You can start your new NCB character today! You even do really well with it for all of February! But at 9:33 AM (server time) on March 1st, a new Changelog thread appears with a single word title: Reset.

I wish it would stop raining already. I would like some snow instead.

QBJohnnywas February 1 2006 1:14 PM EST

You get some snow. But it is yellow snow. Mmmm nice.

I wish I was 21 again instead of approaching something several years older.... :\

{CB1}Lukeyman February 1 2006 4:21 PM EST

you go back in time, but theres no CB, i think thats bad enough :p

I wish I was out of debt

Ox [StephenMelinda Gates Fund] February 1 2006 4:23 PM EST

You're out of debt but your dog commits suicide.

I wish my responses made sense.

{CB1}Lukeyman February 1 2006 4:27 PM EST

*cries because bailey died*

Granted: they make sense, but to only you.

I wish my dog was still alive

QBBarzooMonkey February 1 2006 4:34 PM EST

Your dog is still alive! But (s)he came to live with my dogs, so you won't see him/her anymore anyway.

I wish my dogs could talk, in a language that I can understand, and were all brilliant conversationalists, and could make me pancakes in the morning.

Bootsanator February 1 2006 5:05 PM EST

all that happens, but you realize that you hate pancakes and dogs.

I wish I knew everything that was going to be on the test i have in an hour that i'm going to go study more for right now.

BlueWolf February 3 2006 11:36 PM EST

You find out what is on the test, but you are too dumb to write it down or remember it.

i wish that, after some freak accident, that i obtain every tattoo in the game.

QBOddBird February 3 2006 11:38 PM EST

You obtain every tattoo in the game, but can only wear one.

However, you aren't thinking straight, so you wear the RoBF and sell the others for extremely low prices.

I wish someone would buy my IF already. Sheez.

[CB1]Deadlight February 3 2006 11:39 PM EST

Someone buys you IF, and then you relaize it was you, using your multi char...

I wish this auction would end!

RAMPAGE February 4 2006 4:52 AM EST

The auctions ends but now before Central Bank snipes it cheap.

I wish I could give the world a coke and keep it company.

Halcyon February 4 2006 6:22 AM EST

Granted, you give the world a Coke .. however, turns out that it's an original recipe, and now, your facing charges for distribution of narcotics.

I wish I would get a raise at my job, like, next week.

PirateKing February 4 2006 9:09 AM EST

Granted: Enjoy your one cent per week raise. :P

I wish it would stop raining today; like it has EVERY Saturday for the past month. >:(

AdminShade February 8 2006 4:03 PM EST

Wish granted, now it starts raining every week day instead.

I think this thread has finally died, just wanted to let you know that it was a fun thread.

Next thread we should make a new rule in it, that your wish has to be something about the wish you grant yourself.
This thread is closed to new posts. However, you are welcome to reference it from a new thread; link this with the html <a href="/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=001el5">Corrupt A Wish</a>